My Reason

Everyone has their moment of dying or near death. But if you are like me than every moment seems like a near death experience.


I cursed and I cursed again. The creature was getting worse. I absolutely hated it. Sometimes I ask myself why I still try. The creature choose his prey very well, when I was at my weakest. I didn’t see the signs, or I ignored them. I was so desperate to be apart of the popular group. I didn’t pay attention to the rest of my life.

One day I wasn’t feeling very well, my mom took me to the Dr. Duff. He took a couple of hurtful tests, like a blood test, which hurt the worst, X-ray, which felt a little funny and awkward, and a couple others, that were just as painful. Then he went and got the test results. When he walked in his face went from rosy red to paper pale in the matter of seconds. He looked straight at my mom and said something so quiet I could barely hear the words that were coming out of his mouth. The only word I caught was, cancer.

I don’t remember what happened, all I know was that Dr. Duff was trembling so hard I swear he had a earthquake in his body, and my mom was hugging me so tight I thought she might drain the life out of me. Like it would make a big difference. It would just leave me out of my suffering. Right away Dr. Duff said that he must have someone else’s paper.
“Just tell me how long I have.” I forced the words out of my trembling mouth.
“I don’t know.” Dr. Duff replied and with that he walked out of the room. I wasn’t sure if he would ever get the color back in his pale cheeks.

On the way home my mom made me call about everyone in the whole universe. Everyone said how sorry they felt and sent their best wishes. Like any of them cared. They probably barely know me. That’s so cheap of them telling me they care. I have one simple word to say about that. Whatever.


Life goes on and on. Sometimes feeling like it’s moving slower than slow motion. Life feels like a clock. You have 24 hours to live your life. Some people’s clocks are slow others are fast. No one has the same one. That means NO one is normal. When people say that you should make every moment count but most people ignore that saying but when their 24 hours are up they regret it sooo much. As soon as you’re born you're 24 hours start. Every second ticking is ticking your life away until your last second ticks.

All I hear in my head is “tick tock tick tock”

In the early afternoon my mom said she had to run some errands, when I asked if I could go along she told me to stay home and rest since I had had a long day. When my mom came back an hour later her eyes were blood red like she had been crying. When she walked in I noticed she didn’t have any bags in her hands. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me everything was just great. I nodded my head as if to say I understood, I know something was up, and she just didn’t want to tell me.

Later when Daddy got home, mom told me to go to my room and read a book and just relax. I said okay and walked up stairs. A couple minutes later I silently creep downstairs to listen to the conversation. I could hear my mom and dad talking in the kitchen. I went by the door listening and trying so hard to be silent. Mom was telling daddy how she visited the doctor today. So that’s why she had left. Then I heard something that confused me so much it was too much. I was thinking so much I didn’t even hear my mom open the door. She just stood there with tears running down her pure face. She looked into my eyes, looking at the clear tears streaming down her face, it made tears start coming down my worried face.

Have your parents ever kept a big secret from you, they think it’s so dark and that it will hurt you, but it ends up hurting you more because you find out the way you don’t want to. That’s what it was like for me. My parents didn’t tell me that my mom was very very ill and only had a couple months to live. The illness was the same as mine. It started with a C and ended with a R and it’s pronounced, cancer.

Hearing that my mom had kept that horrible secret from me and I had to learn by eavesdropping. I told my mom everything, and when I say everything I really mean everything. My mom apologized for not telling me right away. It was heartbreaking.
It was late summer one of the most dreadful summers of all time. I was on the end of the cliff and getting ready to jump. I would do it so fast no one would be able to stop me for falling. This was horrible every girl can barely live when they only have there dad to rely on. Or at least it was hard for me. Daddy was a busy man and I only saw him at night so I had to take care of myself for my mom was not with us any more. I remember the funeral and the tears streaming like a wild river. For the funeral I had to go out and buy a black dress, for I didn’t have one.

I’m telling you that everyone has a reason to keep on climbing and to keep on living. When my reason went away I almost did too. When I feel off the cliff, I was holding on a thin branch. The only one that could pull me back up was my dad. Which was very hard when the person is always working. When people are off the cliff it’s impossible to get back up. When people ask me how I climbed up there is only one reason because of my mom and how she wouldn’t want me to give up. My mom will always be my guardian angel and always will watch me. Cancer will NOT kill me because I have a reason to fight and that reason is my mom.


Resources for Pictures:
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