I had awoken to tear stains on my pillow. My eyes burned and my wrists were bleeding. My first thought that morning was of him.
I re-lived the day I lost my soul, and it was he who was in my beautiful nightmare, it was he who caused the pain.
We were sitting on his couch watching TV, silently staring at the unrealistic images that reality TV provided for us. Your arms were around my shoulder just like every other day. But for some reason, your skin touching mine made me feel uncomfortable. There was tingling running down my spine. I tried to move his arm, but it stayed there like it was super glued. He didn’t notice how uncomfortable I was. He was staring at the screen with intensity. I turned my head to the television to see what was so interesting. A sex scene was on and his breathing got heavy.
He suddenly looked at me and licked his lips slowly. He moved his arms from my shoulders and whispered in my ear, “I think its time.” No,no,no… this cant be happening. You are the boy that I loved, right?... But he didn’t hear me, my thoughts couldn’t be heard. I didn’t speak. He took the silence as permission, and stripped me. He climbed on top of me and undid his belt. “No.” I finally whispered.
He grabbed my wrists with one hand and squeezed them. “You don’t mean that babe. You love me.” For hours, it seemed, I laid unmoving, unconscious and I couldn’t feel my body. Everything turned black and all I could hear was his breathing. I finally screamed, tried to rip my wrist away as tears flowed steadily down my cheeks.
I had awoken to tear stains on my pillow. My first thought that morning was of him.