CHAPTER 1

I’m going to stay up here all day,well at least until she leaves for work. I long for the day's she has work because that means I can escape her yelling and her beating me. Like just the other day she started yelling at me when I wasn't even doing anything wrong
“ stop being a selfish little devil all the time you brat” She yelled
“i—i” I stammered.
“Exactly your a poor excuse of a daughter, you never do anything right and you sure as hell don’t deserve my love” She kept yelling, then she slapped me across the face and I fell backward into the table and she didn’t stop me from falling. Luckily my dad came to the rescue,
“ where's my wonderful daughter?” he exclaimed. “ I’m right here" I said.
I walked out the door with my dad and got into his bright blue Prius,
“oh my god” dad said worried, “what happened to your face?'” why is It all bruised up?”
“i—i--uh fell down” I stuttered,.
“ did mom do this to do you again?” he asked this time sounded angry.
I replied,” alright yes she did but its not that big of a deal, if she was not drunk she wouldn’t do something like this”
dad replied with, “ oh honey it doesn’t matter if she was drunk or not abuse is abuse.”

CHAPTER 2

today was my birthday and all my friends forgot it was, because they where all so distracted with their perfect life's to even notice or for that matter remember my special 16th birthday. “ hey Amanda whats up?” “ not much, aren’t you forgetting to say something to me?” “oh yeah” my friend Laura added,” congrats on the A+ on the Spanish test. “wow some friends” I though, “they Don't even remember my birthday” “ OH MY GOD I WAS GOING TO SEE IF YOU WOULD HAVE FIGURED IT OUT SOON BUT OBVIOUSLY NOT, ITS MY BIRTHDAY, NOT EVEN JUST MY BIRTHDAY ITS MY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!!” I screamed so loud that everybody heard and turned there heard and turned there heads to stare. “oh my god Amanda I’m so sorry, girl HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!” Laura said. I didn’t say anything more to them I just walked away and didn't look back. I was wearing my favorite outfit today and I was going to start the day of right ( well better then it started at home) I was wearing black lace up shoes and my hot pink tights and a black mini skirt and a black shirt and black vest and a black sweater, and my hair had hot pink highlights mashed in with my black hair too. This was my special birthday outfit and I wore it every year. I walked into first block in Virginia high school, it was a very big building that looked really cold and gray from the outside but when you go into the building it is..very welcoming, its a little bit scary actually everybody is way to nice at this school and they always look perfect and so preppy and I really cant stand it. “ welcome to class everybody I hope you had a wonderful weekend” My Teacher Mr. frank said, “ today is the last day to study for the big test coming up. You should know that this is my worse class ever, math is not for me. I want to be a writer when I grow up but my mom thinks that writing has no point. So finally I was in my last class and the day ended. Which most teenagers would be happy that it is the end of the day and they get to go home and chill, but not me, I wanted to stay at school forever. I got on the bus alone and sat next to this chubby kid, “ hi” he said, I’m Tom, I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to. I’m usually the last person on the bus after everyone goes home because I take the long way home to avoid actually going to my house. Then if finally gets to my stop, I get off as slowly as I can. I can see my mom waiting on the steps with her arms on her hips. “ hi honey how was school?' She asked using her best fake mom voice, “ it was OK” I replied. “come inside” she said,” we need to talk”. I knew what was going to happen, we weren’t going to talk.


CHAPTER 3

I got inside put my backpack down and sat on the couch,. “ why did I see you skipping school?” mom asks
“ I was in school all day, you can even call them and ask” I say, “ knowing that she is about to hit me either way. And I am right she takes her fist and punches me hard across the face. I fall to the ground and she kicks me and then leaves me there. “ get your fat ass up” she screams in my face. “ I cant, I cant, I cant,” I try to get up and I do but I’m limping all the way up to my bedroom. I get up to my bed room and lay down on my bed trying to forget the pain thinking maybe it will go away. But that doesn't work it still hurts like hell.” no food for you tonight” I hear her yell up the stairs.” “ of course” I'm thinking, good thing I bought food at school so ill have something to eat. I close the door and turn my music up as loud as I can get a knife from my drawer and slide it on my arm. It cuts deep into my skin and hurts, man it really hurts. But I soon forget about what happened with mom. All the pain goes into my cut and makes me feel so much better. Then I get a paper towel and wet it, I press it on my skin. It stings a lot, then I cover it up with my sweater even though its still bleeding. I reach into my backpack and pull out a back of chips and eat as fast as I can before she notices I”m not begging her for food. Then I just lay there on my bed and think. I remember the good times when mom was happy and continent with her life. I cry.

CHAPTER 4

She was a happy person before she started drinking. When my dad was around and my sister wasn't in rehab we would always go on family outings almost every week. I remember going to six flags just cause she was in the mood for a adventure. She took my sister and I there and we could go on any ride we wanted get all the food we wanted and leave whenever. Every year we would go to new york and stay in a big fancy hotel and see Broadway shows. It was a fun time. I felt like the luckiest person in the world when I was with her. Then my dad left her because he had fallen in love with some one else, and she started drinking and that's when she started abusing me. And My sister fell out of place to she got so fed up with our mom and her life and to take away the pain by partying and drinking all day and night. I took away the pain by cutting my self so I could forget the pain of being abused and have the pain of the knife.

CHAPTER 5

mom had come to my school because I had forgotten my lunch bag and she
“ didn't want me to go hungry during lunch” She said. But I knew better then that she just wanted to show the teachers at the school that she was a “good parent.”
“you forgot do clean up and feed the cat and make my bed and bring me breakfast “ she yelled, I think she had forgotten she was at school because she had a drink in her hand and she was not wearing her usual fancy suit that she wears when she goes to my school. Instead she was wearing sweatpants and her fake ugg boots that where ripped all up the sides, but she till wore them. And she was wearing one of her too big for her sweaters. “mom you do know your at my school right?” I asked as quite as I could. “ don't you dare talk back to me” She started hitting me as hard as she could and my friend Laura just happened to be standing there right when she was. She stood there shocked for a moment. Then she realized she should go get help, “ ill be right back” She said starting to cry a bit, she went to get the teacher and mom was still hitting me and. Mr.frank took his phone out and started dialing the police. They came and took my mom away and I stayed at my friends house until the court date when my dad would get custody of me.