I don’t remember the crash. It was just a blank slate in a blank mind. I just remembered a light, myself, and my dead little sister. She was just as I had remembered, maybe a little older, small and skinny, blond short hair, and had a huge gap between her two front teeth. She held out her hand to me and I smiled. I didn’t know if I was dead or alive but I figured I must be dead. I didn’t care; I was with Sammy again. All the guilt, the terrible, terrible guilt I felt for her death was all lifted until finally I felt like I could breathe again. Except she didn’t smile, she looked serious, too serious for a ten year olds face.
“Sammy I’m so sorry, Sammy I should of never have left you alone.”
“Stop,” she held out her hand to cover my mouth.
“Stop talking Taylor we have to get you home.”


The day it happened was Mandy’s 15 birthday 3 years ago. I was in charge of everything including the guest list.
“Mom I’m leaving for Mandy’s.” I yelled into the kitchen. I was about to walk out our front door expecting my mom to say yes when I heard a distinct “No” that stopped me short. My mom stepped into the foyer with my little 6 year old sister Sammy hiding behind her. I sighed knowing what was coming next.
“But mom it’s Mandy’s birthday-“
“It’s still hours away sweetie. You just have to take her to the park for an hour, that’s all.” She gave me a look telling me not to dispute her. I moaned and told Sammy to come on.
No one was at the park but us. The breeze was slow and cool in the hot humid air. Sammy ran over to the swings first and then the slide. She knew how to have fun on her own. “Taylor! Taylor look! Look how high I’m swinging!” I ignored her and paced around for a few seconds then pulled out my phone. It rang a couple times until Jeremiah answered.
“Hey,” he said. “Aren’t you suppose to be at the party?”
“Yes.” I growled. I noticed a white van pull up beside the park. I walked a little closer to Sammy until I saw an older looking man get out and smile and wave. He must have been here just to mow the grass around the park.
“But I got stuck watching Sammy. She’s so spoiled I swear.” I continued turning back around. I heard the man’s mower start and walked farther away from the park so I could hear Jeremiah. All of a sudden I heard the mower stop and Sammy cry my name. I dropped my phone and ran after the van. I could see the man grinning in his mirror as he drove off with my baby sister. Before I knew it, it was too late: my baby sister had been kidnapped.

She pulled me to my feet. It was then that I noticed the room we were in, and the people surrounding us. Everything was grey here, the room, the walls, and the people. It was like trying to watch a bad movie in black and white, annoying.
“Why’s mom here?” I asked, “Why am I laying in a hospital bed? Shouldn’t I be dead?” My mom was crying over my lifeless body, while a Doctor stood beside her patting her back.
“We’ve done all we can Mrs. Keens, we can keep her alive physically but not mentally. The rest is up to Taylor. It’s all her choice.”
“What do you mean?” my mom asked in hysterics. He looked up at me, the ghost me, and I swear it was like he could really see me. Sammy patted my back.
“I’ve seen cases like this before, where people are physically alive but wont wake up. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t; it all depends on the person and if they want to live or not.” My mom started to cry again. I wanted to run to her, to tell her I was here, with Sammy, that I was okay, but I passed right on through her. Like a ghost. That’s when I noticed Sammy didn’t look like me, she looked pure and white, I was grey. All grey.
“Am I-“
“You have to go back Taylor, you don’t belong here yet, you belong with mom and dad,” she took my hand. “I was meant to die Tay.” Tears started to form in my eye’s.
“No you weren’t. It was my fault, all my fault, you should be alive right now, happy and alive.”
“But I am happy sis,” she grabbed my hands and looked me in the eye’s. “I am happy, please accept that. I don’t hate you, I love you I always have, and even though I was annoying when I was with you, it was just because I wanted to be just like you. You were my big sister, I just wanted to impress you.” Tears fell harder as Sammy made me look at myself. I was beaten and bloody. The accident had done its toll. Beside me on one side my mom was praying, and my dad sat in a chair. That’s what dad did. He sat, and waited for the best. A knock came on the door and my beautiful Jeremiah walked in. He held red and white roses and looked beaten and sad. It took all my parents had to leave the room but finally they did. Jeremiah sat down beside me right were mom had sat and grabbed my hand, moving pieces of my hair out of my closed eye’s.
“Hey you,” he whispered, “I miss you. I ah I know that you must be really happy wherever you are, maybe your even with Sammy,” he choked on a sob, “but I ah, I miss you Tay. So much, and there’s so many people here who love you, please don’t go. Please, please don’t leave me here all alone. Who am I suppose to joke with? And play pranks on? Who am I suppose to take to Church every Sunday and call the girl of my dreams? If you can hear me Tay, please come back. God’s keeping you alive for some reason…I can feel it. Please,” he sobbed, “please come back to me.” I started to fade in and out as I cried. I felt torn between the love of my life, and my murdered little sister.
“Look up Taylor.” Sammy made me look up again and now three hours had passed and my best friend and cousin, Mandy, was in the room. She sat on the bed holding my hand like all the others before her and talked quietly. She held a picture of us when we were ten at the Great Lakes. It was the summer we became real best friends. We promised we would never leave each other. She was reminding me now…of that promise. When she was all done talking I looked back at Sammy who sat beside me, rubbing my back.
“Sammy I cant leave-“ I started to say but she cut me off to a hand in my face, I had always hated when she did that.
“I was meant to die.” She said slowly. “I wasn’t meant to be there with you.”
“No,” I tried to shake my head, she was supposed to live, it was all my fault. If only I hadn’t taken my eyes off of her that day, even for that one second, one minute she was on the swing, the next, she was gone. It was all my fault.
“Taylor look at me, am I really dead?” she asked. I shook my head no.
“I’m not. I am alive and happy. I am where I am meant to be, I don’t blame you because I love you, I will always love you; you’re my big sister, how could I not? Don’t waste the second chance I never got.”
Her words sank in like mud. I started to feel myself fade, I had to make a choice and soon. I walked over to my lifeless body and looked back at my little sister. She had grown up so much. She shone with a light so pure and bright, it reminded me of the lighthouse we saw at the Great Lakes. Sammy was the Lighthouse that I needed to get me home.
“Thank you Sammy,” I smiled and wiped a tear from my eye. “I love you.” She smiled and hugged me around my waist. “I love you Taylor, you’ll always be my big sister.”
Tears fell harder and harder as I made my decision. I closed my eyes and my life flashed before me as lights and bells began to ring.
“Taylor,” a voice said, “Taylor... your home.” I was home.