Do you remember when you would go to the dentist, and they would allow you to choose a toy; a tiny plastic prize for your feat. Why are we not still given these petite tokens of victory? Why cannot, as we grow, our reward grow also?

People always say the best things come in smaller boxes, but I disagree. No, I think the best things come in a form. A form you can’t touch… but you can feel. You just trust it. For everyone, it comes in a different shape. An individually made object created just for the thing that you need most. For some, it could be as complex as a lengthy equation, and others a simple little stress ball. For me, it’s different. For me, all I want to feel… is you.

It’s a literal obsession, a crazed hunger, for anything I can receive from you. A text will do, a phone call, even just a smile while passing in the hall… anything just to satisfy that craving for you I have deep inside of me.

You know of this fascination I have of you. You seem not to mind. It does not bother you-yet it doesn’t appear to please you either. I wish you would give me more of a reaction when I tell you how I suffer. Instead, all I receive is a blank stare and a quick change of subject.

I almost wish I had never told you anything at all. It’s mortifying- having your darkest secrets sprawling out of your mouth- slipping away so fast it’s impossible to snatch them back and swallow them whole. I would give anything to rewind back to the way we were. Anything except the way I feel being with you.

Do you remember when you would go to the dentist, and they would allow you to choose a toy; a tiny plastic prize for your feat. Everyone loves a reward. Some may ponder why we do not get them everyday. But I don’t. I know, that the short time I have with you- whether it’s a head nod in the hallway, or a lingering embrace, I cherish it all. This is because you dear, are my own special prize.