Catch Me


“No way! I'm not gonna do it!” The younger, stubborner version of me was perched at the top of a yellow twisty slide in Blue Bell Park.

“Hurry it up,” an irritated kid yelled behind me. My small hands started to tremble, I was terrified. Now, when I look back at the old, rusty park, I think of how silly I was being. I guess when your four years old things look a lot bigger.

“No, I can't,” I said, a small tear running down my face as I took a step back. I peered through the bars of the playset to see my Dad watching me expectantly. I was sure that the moment I stepped into that slide, there would be a huge crisis, causing my Dad to leave and me to go crashing to the ground.

“I promise I'll catch you,” my Dad said reassuringly, opening his arms wide, ready for anything. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, tried to block out the wail of the unhappy kids behind me, and plunged myself, down...down...down...and landed in my Dad's safe outstreched arms.

He hugged me close and said, “I will always catch you.” When I stood there snuggled up in his arms, I believed him.

Now, I stand at the entrance to Blue Bell Park eleven years later. No small children have played at that park for a while but you can still hear the ghostly echos of kids laughing. Now that I am much taller, the yellow twisty slide that I stood at the top of eleven years ago looks like a tiny tube for miniature humans instead of a smaller version of Mount Everest. I would laugh at the sillines of how scary the little slide used to seem, but as I run my hands gently against the rough, yellow plastic and look around at the old swings and monkey bars, I know that inside, I am still the same insecure little girl that stood at the top of that yellow slide so many years ago. This time, when I peer over the bars, there is no one standing at the bottom. I walk up to the top of the old playset where the slide starts, and a tear runs down my face once more. Though this time, not for the same reason. I begin to shake as I recall memories of my past.

Me and my family thought we had it all, a perfect house, I went to a private school, my baby brother had just been born, and my Dad had a well paying job as a CEO at Comcast. Only when the police showed up at our house, did we know the truth. My Dad had been fired from his reliable job and our perfect life was all courtesy of Wells Fargo Bank. Suddenly, we found ourselves in a hole that just kept getting tighter and tighter. With my Dad in jail, my Mom with a new baby, and me barely old enough to have a job let alone support our family with one, there was no way to earn money. First, they took away our car, then they pulled me out of school, and then we lost our house. We started selling our belongings just to put food in our mouths.

Now, my father is a man I barely know. My mother is always in a hysteria with a tear stained face, as she tries to find a job she can take her baby to, all while filing divorce papers.

My life, my perfect life, is spiraling out of control. This time, there is no one there to catch me.