Shades of Grey | Teen Ink

Shades of Grey

April 13, 2010
By fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not "true" because we're hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. "
— Orson Scott Card


Hazy smoke fills the train car. At the front a man hawks glow in the dark stars. Talk and laughter fill the air. There is a sense camaraderie here. We are all going to the same place in the same fashion. We uncomfortably sit on the same wooden benches and breath the same sweaty, smoky air.

The train pulls into a station. A boy gets up, making his way to the front of the car. He wears a baggy, grey sweater that looks about six sizes too big for him. He walks slowly. I can't quite put my finger on why he stands out for me but he does. As I watch him he becomes more and more out of place. As he steps onto the platform he draws his hands up into his long sleeves against the brisk spring air. The sweater seems to fit him better as I look on. It doesn't get smaller it just...fits.

The train pulls out of the station. As it begins to gather speed I turn for one last look at the boy. Pressed up against a chain link fence he gazes out over a construction site. It is the single loneliest thing I have ever seen.


The author's comments:
Based on a true story. Somewhat embellished.

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This article has 5 comments.


on May. 20 2010 at 11:03 am
Oh, and the second sentence DOES make sense if you put the dashes in. Mystery solved!

on May. 20 2010 at 11:02 am

Beautiful! The best writers are able to get their point across without being overly wordy, and you've painted a very vibrant picture in just a few paragraphs.

I also like the way the backdrop of the train, which is essentially transitory, emphasizes the loneliness of the boy. Very poignant.


on May. 7 2010 at 7:16 am
fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not "true" because we're hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. "
— Orson Scott Card

Thanks Mom!

on May. 4 2010 at 1:49 pm
fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not "true" because we're hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. "
— Orson Scott Card

I love this story. I puts me right back in so many trains I have been in. You notice things that I miss, but create the atmosphere I feel.

The second sentence needs dashes (glow-in-the-dark stars) for me to get it on the first run through. Maybe you had them in and didn't recognize the sentence without them.

 


on Apr. 25 2010 at 9:27 am
fireeyedgirl SILVER, Dulles, Virginia
7 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think that most of us, anyway, read these stories that we know are not "true" because we're hungry for another kind of truth: the mythic truth about human nature in general, the particular truth about those life-communities that define our own identity, and the most specific truth of all: our own self-story. Fiction, because it is not about someone who lived in the real world, always has the possibility of being about oneself. "
— Orson Scott Card

Just to let you know, the second sentence isn't mine. I have no idea where it came from so just try to ignore it