And so she sits there again alone, and if there were anyway that she could somehow disappear she would take it. It was better than sitting there being pitied. Urrgh she practically had enough of this life, she felt lifeless and pathetic. And the worst part was the fact that she had the death of her best friend on her shoulders. Sure people said that it wasn't her fault and that it never was, but that's what people said to not be rude. She knew the way she felt on that day, the shock and fault. If it weren't for her and her childish games, Alethea would still be alive.
***


She was careless without a worry, dancing to the beat of the music. It was all an escape to her. School could wait, at that moment she just wanted to forget the B.S that was happening at home, her fake mother, her father that was barely home anymore and her lame friends. She was having fun and that's all she cared about. So when she saw Alethea walk through the doors with her expression frighten, Lacey was mad and shocked all at same. What is she doing here? Lacey asked herself. She quickly grew embarrassed and annoyed, she pushed her way through the crowd not caring who she bumped into. OOOOh she’s furious, I knew i shouldn't of come here but....Alethea let her thoughts wonder on something else, rather than remembering. Lacey was not as tall as Alethea, but she had a reputation for being a scary little thing.
"What are you doing here?!" Lacey said, her face turning bright red from the anger.
"Listen I don't want to talk with everyone here, can we please go outside?" She was screaming over the music, fiddling with her fingers.
They both walked out trying to be unnoticed. A guy probably in his twenties blocked their way, Alethea wasn't as familiar with people like these, not that she was fragile, but because she rather tried her best to keep away from them. This guy was the example of someone who she felt sorry for. She could see the way that he looked at them, with an empty stare, a cigarette in one hand and a beer on the other. Another lost soul, Alethea thought as she tried her best to move her way out of his path. "Hey babe, where you going? You ain't going to stay to dance a little?" His breath reeked of beer. Alethea tried walking past him, but he grabbed her by the arm pulling her toward him. "Come on, you think you to good for me or something?" Alethea then felt another hand on her other arm, this one she recognized. "Hey, beat it, she's not interested." Lacey dragged Alethea through the crowd of people, which by now they were looking at her and Alethea. So much for not attracting attention, Lacey thought to herself, what is she doing here? Why couldn't she be normal and worry about herself? It was bad enough that she was leaving the party because of her, but she embarrassed hers in front of all the gangs inside.
"What do you want Alethea? How did you even know where i was?" she quickly put on her merciless stare, it kind of hurt to talk to Alethea like that, she had no fault.
"I couldn't let you hurt yourself again. Lacey you have to understand that you can't keep on running away every time you and your mother have a fight. I know that she overreacted over your grades, but you cant just say you wished that she could simply go to hell and everyone in the world for all you cared. I cant believe you broke the window, matter of fact i cant believe you threw a base at her. Lacey you have to come home and work it out." OK I got it all out, what will she do now? Alethea asked herself.
Who did she think she was? For gods sake she was worse than her neurotic mother. Lacey was pretty much over the lie that all people wanted was to help her, sure they do she sarcastically told herself. "Lacey you're nothing and no one that has any right to tell me what to do. Did you get that? I'm not one of those kids you can just talk to and they change for your sake. I could care less about you and everyone in my stupid life. I'm tired of pretending, I'm tired of pretending that you're my friend, you’re lame ok? I’m tired of you and everyone's crap. Did you get that?" God she never felt she was ever going to say things that mean to her, and the worst thing was that Lacey didn't even mean any of them. Lacey simply didn't even care anymore, she would explain tomorrow, that's how fast Alethea always forgave her.
All Alethea could do was stare at Lacey. She doesn't mean it; she tried to convinced herself, she's just mad. Yet Lacey's face was composed with pure malignant hate. "Lacey, listen I know you're mad and i understand, but don't say things like that. How 'bout we go somewhere more relaxing, somewhere we can talk. I'm sure you don’t mean those things." I don't even believe myself, Alethea concluded.
"Alethea, you're pathetic, and you can go to hell, Bye." Lacey turned from Alethea and walked through the entrance, without even looking back.
"Lacey? Plea-" Lacey turned her head about an inch, but that's about as much as she went. She saw her face filled with horror and pain. Mouth open still, eyes wide with fear. Good, Lacey thought, that way she won’t come after me. All the sudden she felt people pushing her aside, and then she heard the cries and shrieks of fear. She heard someone screaming for someone to call 911. At first she thought they got caught, but that happened very often, never were there cries of terror. "Wasn't she with you?" the guy of beer breath asked. This time she turned her whole body around, that's when she saw her. Alethea's chest was covered with blood, she saw the way she her body quivered, it was an awful and gruesome scene. Her hands were lifeless, some girl was holding her trying her best to bring her back to life, but Lacey knew it was hopeless. Alethea was not far from being dead.





***
“I’m sorry,” Lacey told her dead friend. She quickly came back to the present her face covered in tears. She felt grateful for the darkness; it hid her tears and her own expression. What now she thought, I didn’t even get to apologize for the things I said. She got up from the bench she was sitting on, she wiped the tears from her face, after all there was no point in crying. She had no right to miss her, she had no right to cry for her. Because she had been the one who killed her. If she had listened to Alethea and gone home, then maybe Alethea wouldn’t have gotten shot. The worst part was that she didn’t even do anything, all she did was stand there looking down at Alethea. The worst part was that she hadn’t even heard the gun, she could have pushed her out of the way. It could have been her who got shot. No, the worst part was the stare Alethea’s mother had when she saw her daughter. Her face was stricken with agony, misery, compassion, hate, and sorrow. It had all created a new kind of feeling, to some people it might have been peaceful, but to Lacey it was frightening. If it weren’t enough that she had to stand there and look at her, Alethea’s mother said she understood. She had said she understood, the women had all right to hate Lacey. All she said was that she understood? “It wasn’t your fault Lacey.” That’s what Alethea’s mom had said. She had expected her to call her a murderer, a piece of trash, but instead she told her it wasn’t her fault. From that moment on she hated her, for making Lacey feel worse than she already did.