I’m in a box, an invisible box, but a box nonetheless. Only I can see peoples boxes I realise this at a young age when I asked if I could pet the monkey hanging of a boys arm and she looked at me worriedly. Mines plain, nothing in there, four white walls a floor and a ceiling. I count them over and over because I have nothing better to do. The teacher is going on and on, the information is being stacked somewhere I know that because I always ace tests but I don’t see where in my box, my box is flawless.
I’m uncomfortable when any one enters my box it makes me fidgety and if they don’t leave I move taking my box with me. people call it personal space issues but I call it keeping tidy. when some one enters my box smudges and finger prints are left behind, imperfections, then I have to clean and that takes time, time spent when I could be doing something more productive. People around me have learned to stay clear now the boys don’t include me in there games and the girls don’t giggle or flip there hair for me like they do to the other boys. Its not to be mean they just know I like it better that way. Sometimes I think id enjoy to be like others, hang pictures of companions in my box, maybe add music, but when I try it doesn’t come out right the pictures blurry and the music scratchy and quiet.
So far my life has been normal I walk to places I must go like school and errands my mum asks of me and the rest of the time I spend reading trying to materialise things. it doesn’t work my box stays plain I no its not normal I’ve seen new born babies in the hospital when my sister was kept for a bit after my mum gave birth to her, her box was bright and colourful with swirls and humming, she didn’t have anything but colours because she hadn’t seen butterflies or lady birds yet but as she and I grew her box was added to and mine stayed plain I was jealous of her before but I’m over it now, its just the way it is. My life has been like this for 12 years I’m in my first year of high school, its mid year. Out class has been told a new girl is coming next week and that we should all make her comfortable. The only seat left is next to me I’ll have to rearrange my desk because right now my box leans onto what will be her desk and I cant be cleaning my box every day after school.
The next Monday I’m sat at my desk reading trying to materialize and I-pod I figured they’re so small and even if no stereo appears maybe an I-pod would work because it‘s smaller. then in came the new girl her box was so vibrant there were splodges of colours like those of an artist a back track that overrode all others like that of a musicians there were plants and butterflies with shelves and shelves of pictures of people she loved and cared for. Her box made her glow from the inside out, id never seen anything like it. It got me thinking I might not mind her in my box maybe some of her glow would rub of on mine. She came in sat down turned to me and offered her hand.
“hi, I’m Caily, what’s your name?” I could feel everyone’s eyes on me waiting for my reaction to this obviously overpowering personality, I could tell they all expected me to cringe away but there was a warmth in her box so I took her hand. I hadn’t touched any one for years not even a brush of the arm or a hug of my mum that would mean they were in my box and that was unacceptable but just by shaking her hand it was like she’d breathed live into my box. I could feel all the things id been trying to, over the years materialize appear one by one there was now a door and windows, lights and music which was a sweet sound making me want to hum, a phone and a full grown tree in bloom, there was grass beneath my feet and the sweet smell of fresh air regularly passing my nose and there in the centre of my wall was my first photo of her brilliant face smiling at me as I told her my name was Jeremy. I was buzzing all over she didn’t realize it but in that one moment she had changed my life.