A smile spread across Ella J’s face as she pulled a letter from the mailbox slot in the wall of the post office. It was a small tan envelope with messy handwriting that spelled out Ella Josephine. The envelope was sealed with a red wax seal stamp. There was a rose embedded on the stamp. The letter didn’t look like much, but to Ella J, it was the best part of her day. She closed her mailbox slot and headed towards the door of the mail room that she along with the rest of her neighbors shared. I can’t wait to see what he wrote today. She thought to herself as she crossed the road and made her way home. The whole way there she smiled to herself thinking about what could’ve been in the letter. As soon as she got home, she didn’t even bother changing out of her heavy outside clothes, she just simply ran to her room and grabbed a candle and some matches. She sat in the center of her floor, poofing out her long, heavy dress around her. Taking a match, she sparked the side of the old, dirty box and lit it. Then she carefully placed it on top of the candle and waited for the fire to grow. 

She grabbed the letter and flipped it over, placing the candle on the surface of the wax seal. She waited for it to slightly melt, then she pulled it away and blew out the candle. She sat it aside, and pulled on the envelope, opening the seal. She smiled as she pulled the wrinkled piece of paper out and unfolded it. 

Dear Ella Josephine, or Ella J, 

First and foremost, I have to apologize for not writing to you yesterday. 

You see, I was out of town for a bit, and I forgot to mail 

A letter in advance.

I’ve made it a habit to write to you everyday, 

So I sincerely apologize if you were disappointed because

You didn’t receive a letter from me. 

I hope you have been doing well...I have to say, I’ve missed 

Your responses to my letters. I even missed seeing you 

Around town. Your beautiful smile. And your enticing laugh.

Your whole existence captivates me. That’s why I’ve been 

Writing to you for these past few weeks..

But you already knew that didn’t you? 

One day I hope I have the courage to reveal myself to you 

And tell you that I love you in person. Until then, I’ll just have 

To stay anonymous.

Farewell for now, 

Your Secret Admirer 

xoxo

Ella J sets the letter down, and giggles to herself. I really wish I knew who he was. She thought to herself. Ella J stood up and grabbed the letter, putting it back in its envelope, and placed it in the bin along with the other letters and sat it on her bed. This one makes it the twenty second one. This mystery man has been writing to Ella J for three weeks, going on the fourth, and she still has no clue who it is. At first the letters were just a couple sentences about how he had seen her around town and wanted to talk to her, but he was too shy. He wanted her to know how he felt so he decided to just write letters to her. He wasn’t expecting a reply back, but Ella J concluded that replying back wouldn't cause any harm, so after sending her his third letter, she decided to respond to him. And they’ve been sending letters back and forth to each other ever since. Ella J has become smitten with the mystery man and his sweet words. She’s asked several times for them to arrange a meeting, but he is convinced that once she meets him, she’ll regret ever responding to him. Ella J tried to convince him otherwise, but his mind was set.

It made her wonder if something was wrong with him. Did he not like his appearance? Was he unusually short? Too tall? Did he have bushy eyebrows? Buck teeth? Ella J tried to figure out what type of insecurity he had that made him believe she wouldn’t like him. She came up with all kinds of possibilities, but in the end she decided that it didn’t even matter. She’d like him no matter what. Because she liked him for his words, his mind, his heart and his soul. Not because of his looks. A knock on her bedroom window pulled her out of her thoughts. Another knock. Another knock. And another. “ELLA JO!” A voice yelled from outside.

Ella J already knew who it was. She walked over to her window and opened it.

“Simon! Stop throwing pebbles at ma winda’. Come on in through the front do’ like a normal fella.” She told her best friend. 

“Naw, lemme see if I can jump through!” He yelled back. Ella J rolled her eyes at his childish behavior, but she reluctantly opened the window wider and stepped back. “Okay, gon’head.” she said, folding her arms. Ella J’s window wasn’t that high off the ground. If someone could jump high enough, they could just barely make it in. But barely. Ella J was sure that Simon would fail miserably and bust his head wide open on the side of her house. But, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt anyway. Afterall, with Simon, you just never know. “Don’t blame me if ya die.” she mumbled under her breath. Simon stepped back a couple steps, preparing to get a running start. He took a deep breath, and then ran full pace towards Ella J’s window and jumped up at the last second, grabbing onto the window seal, attempting to pull himself up. He only got his upper body into the room before he stopped moving. He sighed and looked up at Ella J. 

“Umm.” He wiggled. “A little help.” He said. She rolled her eyes and stood there. “I told ya not to do it ‘n the first place, Simon.” She said, trying not to seem amused. “Yeah I know I know, ya tell me lots of stuff that just passes right through ma head.” He joked. “Now are ya goin’ ta help me or not, Ella Jo?” He smiled up at her. 

Ella J scoffed but walked over to him, grabbing his hands. “Hold still.” She grunted as she tried pulling the rest of him into the room. “Why are ya so heavy?” She strained, struggling to move him. “Are ya even pullin’?” He mocked. “Come on Josephine.” She yanked on him, trying to get the rest of his body inside the window. “Shut up or i’a let go and kick ya to ya death.” She told him. 

“Yes ma’am.” He joked, shutting his mouth tightly. 

She tugged harder, and suddenly, his body gave, and Simon went flying towards her, knocking them both on the ground. At the last second, Simon shifted his body slightly underneath Ella J’s so that she would fall on top of him, instead of having his weight crush her when they landed. They both landed on the ground with an oomph. “Oww.” Ella J said, as she laid there with Simon. “Sorry ‘bout that, Ella Jo.” He said, his accent slipping out a little. “Yea yea, youse lucky ya broke my fall. Thanks fa that, by the way.” She responded, turning her head to face him. He was staring at her. Ella J frowned, as she wondered what he was looking for. But Simon didn’t say a word. He just continued to stare at her. “Why do ya always do that?” Ella J asked, snapping Simon out of whatever trance he was in. She pushed against his chest, sitting up. “Do what?” Simon sat up as well. “Stare at me. We just be hangin’ out and ya get in some type of trance ‘n stare at me.” she said. Simon’s eyes widened, not realizing that Ella J had noticed that. 

“What? Am I ugly or somethin’, country boy?” Ella J teased him. Simon smiled, shaking his head. “Far from it, Josephine.” Simon said, standing up. That comment made Ella J think. She’d never put much thought into her appearance when she was with Simon. I mean, it was just Simon. Sure, he wasn’t bad looking, but she had never thought of him in that way. They’ve always just been friends. Since they were kids. Nothing more. But, Ella J couldn’t help but wonder what he really thought of her. I mean, did he think she was ugly? Did he think she was attractive? And why did she suddenly care? She’d never cared about what anyone, especially a boy, thought of her before. Ever since she was younger, she’d get compliments on her appearance. But she was used to that.

In her society, to be physically attractive was everything. She was expected to marry young and rich, that way she’d be set for life, never having to lift one dainty little finger. And if she got lucky, she’d find someone she could actually love. Her only job would be to stay home and have her husband's children, and spend the rest of her life taking care of them and the house, leaving her husband to go out and work to provide for them. If you couldn’t fulfill that duty, you’d be written off as incapable, labeled a spinster, and shunned. No one would speak to you, and you wouldn’t get invited anywhere. And in this society, that is the worst fate. So Ella J was expected to marry soon since she’s already of age, and that pressure was a lot on her. Especially the fear and worry of not marrying someone that she loved. But that was society's expectations for her, and every other young girl who was physically blessed. Although it should, that stuff never mattered to her. She didn’t care about the stupid rules that everyone blindly followed. She didn’t care for the ‘young’ and the ‘rich’ men that stayed in this small town. And she certainly didn’t care what any boy thought of her. So why was she starting to care now? And why is it the thought of Simon, of all people, that triggered her curiosity?

“Hellooo? Ella Jo, ya in dere?” Simon waved his hand in front of Ella J’s face, attempting to grab her attention. She blinked, and looked up at him. “Heh.” He reached out his hand. “Who’s in the trance now?” He smirked, pulling her up to stand on her feet. “Whatever.” She hit him in his shoulder, and walked towards her bed. He followed her, as he always does. “What are those?” Simon asked, pointing to the bin on her bed. Ella J’s face reddened, as she rushed and grabbed the bin, sticking it behind her back. “Nothin’.” She said, shifting her weight from one foot to the other anxiously. Simon eyed her. Then in one fell swoop he reached behind her, grabbing the bin before she had the chance to react. “Hey!” She tried to grab the bin, but couldn’t reach it. “Didn’t ya mammy ever teach ya it’s rude to go through a person's belongings without permission? Especially a lady!” She told him. 

“My apologies, Josephine. If ya want it back, grab it.” He laughed and raised the bin way over his head. “Ay, nie that’s not fair, ya know youse way taller den meh.” She said frustratedly. Ella J wasn’t short, she was real tall. But so was Simon. “If ya really want it back ya could make it work.” He held it up even higher, waving it in the air. “Fine, ya wanna play that way, we can.” She stepped back and ran straight toward him, jumping on him causing him to stumble and fall. This also caused the contents inside the bin to fall and scatter all over the floor. 

Simon grabbed one of the letters next to his head and looked at it. “Ella Josephine.” He read out loud. “Hmm.” He put the letter back in the bin, and started picking up the other ones and putting them back as well. Ella J looked at him. “What? Ya went through all da trouble of gettin’ these from me, ya not gonna ask what’s in ‘em?” She asked. “Naw.” He placed the last letter in the bin and picked it up, placing it on the shelf on Ella J’s wall. “Well why not?” 

Simon looked at her. “Seems personal. Them letters ain’t none ah my bidness.” He replied, laying across her bed. Ella J was confused. Normally he’d keep nagging her about the letters until he got an answer. And that’s if he even asked instead of just opening them himself. It was strange. But she decided not to question it. Instead, she joined him on her bed. They laid there for a while before Ella J started yawning. “I’m tired.” She says. “Up all night?” Simon looks at her.

 “Yup.” 

He sighs. “Thought I told ya not to do that no mo.” 

“I know I heard ya. But how else am I gonna make money for myself if I don’t?”

“Ya not ‘pose ta be worried bout that anyway, that is what ya husband-ta-be is fo.” He said.

Ella J scoffs. “Please. Ya know I could not care less bout that foolishness. What if I don’t want ta marry rich?” She sighs.

“Besides,” She yawns again, “Dere ain’t a decent wealthy man within miles of dis town dat I’d even consider marryin’.” “So I figure, If it ain’t true love, why get married at all?” She closes her eyes, starting to drift off to sleep. 

“Well, lemme ask ya this, Ella J.” Simon says.

“What is it?” 

“Would ya ever consider marryin’ a man, even if he wasn’t rich? What If it was true love? Would ya do it, Ella Jo?” He asked. 

“Well, yeah. But who would that be?” She yawns again. 

Simon was quiet for a while. But he eventually built up the courage to speak his mind for once. “Me, Ella Jo.” He said, waiting for a ‘no’ or some sort of joke to defer the conversation. But nothing came. Was that worse? The silence? But Simon looked over to Ella J and saw that she was asleep. That gave him comfort. Knowing that she didn’t say no. Sure she didn’t say yes, but that was much, much better than a ‘no’. Simon lay there for a little while longer, enjoying the silence along with the presence of the girl he loved. Then he decided to leave before it got dark. 

Ella J woke up again hours later. She had noticed Simon’s absence immediately, and she couldn’t help but wish he had stayed. She didn’t know why, but she had been enjoying his company a lot more lately. And she had also started to notice things about him that she hadn’t paid much attention to before. Like how he was handsome. And how close they were. How she felt comfortable and safe with him. How he’s the most consistent person in her life. How she was starting to wish he was wealthy. So that maybe they could get married. 

She wasn’t sleeping when he made that confession earlier. She just didn’t know how to respond, so she figured she should stay silent. But now she wished she had said something. Yes, Simon, if I could, I would marry ya. She would’ve said. But she knew she couldn’t even if he was serious about it. It was social suicide. And if it was just about her, she wouldn’t care. But that’s Simon’s reputation that she’d be tainting too. She couldn’t do that to him. Not when he could marry into a rich family as well and inherit their old money and that way he could live comfortably for the rest of his life. She couldn’t take that opportunity away from him. So she pushed that thought into the back of her head and locked it away. 

Besides, he didn’t feel anything for her beyond friendship. 

And plus, Ella J had her secret admirer. He had a way with words, he always knew exactly what to say to her. So maybe he would be rich, and they could marry and maybe she’d get lucky and fall in love with him. Maybe, maybe, maybe. She didn’t hold out much hope. With a heavy heart, Ella J decided to just go back to sleep. Maybe I’ll go out and surprise Simon with lunch tomorrow. She thought. 

 ***

“Thank you!” Ella J said, as she grabbed her food from the corner shop. She hummed a song as she made her way to Simon’s house. She couldn’t wait to see the look on his face. She got him his favorite meal from his favorite shop. She also got something for herself too. She walked up to his house and knocked three times. No answer. Is he home? He should be, today’s his off day. She thought. Simon worked for Mr. Hilton on the rich side of town. You’d think that’d mean he was rich himself, but they don’t pay him well. The colored folks get the bare minimum. Still to this day. His daddy went through the same, and so did his granddaddy and great-granddaddy. But that wouldn’t change, so there was no sense of complaining about it. At least that’s what Simon always says about it.

 Ella J knocked again, but there was still no response. So she pulled out his spare key from her pocket and opened the door. She wondered why she didn’t just do that from the beginning but then realized that Simon got upset with her when she did it last week. And the week before that. But she decided that this was an emergency. A food emergency. So she stuck the key in the handle and twisted it, walking into his kitchen. She set their food down on the counter and removed it from the bag, placing the food containers side by side. “Simon!” She called. 

No response yet again. “Ya better not be nappin’ at this time ah day country boy!” She yelled into the house. “Hmm.” She frowned. Where was he? She walked into the living room finding it empty. Then walked down the hall and peeked into the other rooms to find them empty too. That’s when she heard the ruckus coming from his backyard. She followed it to find Simon standing there cutting up wood. She watched as he raised an ax up in his arms and swung them down, crashing down on the piece of wood and cutting it in half. He repeated that action a few more times before he turned to see her standing there. “Hey, Ella Jo.” He smiled, wiping his forehead. “Ya smell.” She said, eyeing his sweaty body. “Ya I know.” He sat the ax down and moved closer to her. She narrowed her eyes. “What?” He smirked. “Oh nothin’. Come gimme a hug, Josephine.” He spread his arms open, moving closer to her. “Oh, nu uh! Stay from ‘round me!” She said backing away, feeling her face get hot as he kept moving forward. She tried running, but it was futile because he had already caught up to her. He engulfed her into a hug, rubbing his sweaty chest on her white t-shirt. “Simon!” She punched his chest. 

Simon let go, laughing hysterically. “It’s not funny.” She said, looking at her now wet t-shirt.
“I’m sorry, Jo. How ‘bout ya go to my room ‘n borrow a shirt from me?” He offered, still laughing at her. “Fine.” She rolled her eyes, hitting him harder, causing him to cease all laughter. “There’s food in the kitchen for ya when ya done here. Don’t eat mine or I’ll punch ya in the face.” She smiled as she walked away, finding joy in that thought. 

Ella J made her way to Simon’s room. When she got there she headed straight for his clothes drawers. She grabbed the first plain black t-shirt she could find and then changed into it. When she saw that it almost stopped at her kneecaps, she took the bow that was holding her curly hair into a ponytail and tied it around the back of the shirt, tucking it in. She decided to take a look around his room since he never lets her in here anymore. Ooo I wonder what he’s hiding. She joked. 

She looked around on his desk against the wall. He had so much junk cluttered everywhere. There were different gadgets scattered on the table, along with some random papers. Maybe for work. There were also lots of feathers and ink everywhere. Ella J looked near the back and saw almost seven different types of wax seal stamps. One in particular caught her eye. She picked it up and took a better look at it. It was red, and had a rose embedded in it. Her eyes widened at the realization. My letters. It couldn’t be the same one. Right? There was just no way. Ella J sat the stamp down and began shuffling through the random papers scattered around his desk. She skimmed each one trying to find anything that could prove her suspicion. And then she saw it. The start of a letter addressed to Ella Josephine.  No one else used her full name when writing to her. They always used Ella J, because that’s what she went by. Her secret admirer was the only one who addressed her that way. 

Ella J’s shock grew stronger as she realized what this meant. Simon and the mystery man that has had her attention for weeks now are the same person. Simon, her best friend, and the guy she had recently started developing feelings for. And the man that uses words to sway her heart. The one she had hoped she could marry. They’re the same man. She didn’t know how to feel about it. A part of her was happy. Happy that Simon felt this way about her. But the other part of her felt that this wouldn’t end well. There were just too many reasons why this wasn’t a good idea. And she hated it. She hated the stupid society that she lived in, and its stupid rules. She hated that she even loved him. She hated that her situation wasn’t different. And she hated that there was nothing she could do about it.

The sound of footsteps knocked her out of her thoughts as she scrambled to put the paper and stamp back where she got it from, but it was too late. Simon had already seen her. Ella J stared at him, waiting for him to say something. Anything. “I love ya.” 

Ella J’s eyes widened as she smacked her hand over her mouth realizing what she just blurted out. Simon cleared his throat, just as surprised as she was. “I’m sorry, I dunno where that came from.” she said. Simon moved closer to her. “Why ya sorry?” he asked. “Ya didn’t gimme the chance to say it back.” he said. “Oh.” 

Simon laughed. “That’s all, Jo?’ He sat at the end of his bed, pulling her beside him. “Ya normally have more to say.” He added. “Ya I know.” She sighed. 

“Look, I meant what I said. I love ya, too. I just wish I had known.” she said. 

“I understand, Jo. I should’ve spoken up sooner. But I meant what I said in all of those letters.”

“Simon, I would love to marry ya, I really would. But we can’t. I just can’t do that to ya reputation. Ya deserve more.” Ella J told him. 

“Ella Josephine, ya know I don’t care ‘bout my reputation. I’d happily marry ya, in a heartbeat.” 

That made Ella J smile. 

Ella J and Simon talked about their new future for hours. They eventually decided that they would get married and move out of the town and into the city, so that they could live more comfortably. Ella J was the happiest she had ever been. And in the end she got something she thought was impossible for her. She got to marry out of love, not because of how much money he had. And that was the only thing she could’ve ever asked for.

The End.