Girl That Doesn't Fit In | Teen Ink

Girl That Doesn't Fit In

May 8, 2023
By brookekelly BRONZE, Arvada, Colorado
brookekelly BRONZE, Arvada, Colorado
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

I love when people tell me I can’t do something. Like, explain to me why you think I can’t do it? I wasn’t always this way though. Seeking other peoples reassurance used to hold a great value to me. I was the kid who would always try to make people laugh and hope they would wanna be friends with me.


I have always been an oddball though. Throughout these past four years I have been nothing but controversial to everyone. From being a cheerleader to doing wrestling. To have spotting friends here and there, to only having family. Many people know of me but don’t actually know me. 


Leaving high school this week I want to share the top for things that have gotten me through these years. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you, that finally leaving this place that I have grown up in for all these years. Is honestly one of the most memorable moments. 


I have always been intimidating to most people, this really got under my skin if I am being honest. The people who have gotten to know me even in the sleight of ways, would know I couldn’t even hurt a fly. 


In many ways I know I am very protective over the people I care about. I see that as a good thing, many people in high school can’t always say their friend has their back. This isn’t something you can just tell someone, but something that you have to prove. 


I started my high school career, thinking that I wanted to be a cheerleader. For 3 years I stuck to it because I was always told to never give up. In many ways I loved it but I never truly fit the standard of being a cheerleader.


I have never been very girly, as many of you may know. Although I never really cared how people thought of me. I loved stunting and tumbling, it made me feel like I could be one of the popular girls everyone always talked about. 


Truly this wasn't me, I randomly decided in December of my freshman year that I wanted to join the wrestling team. Everyone thought I was crazy, but in many ways I agreed with them. I loved the way I had to push all of my mental and physical limits everyday. It was addicting in many ways. 


I honestly sucked at it but I never gave up. Everything changed when covid hit, I was still trying to figure out who I am. I lost myself in many ways, trying to be someone I wasn’t, just to fit in. 


I had no motivation at the time. I wasn’t in a good friend group, my grades went downhill, I gave up wrestling, and was not motivated to do cheerleading anymore. 


I knew something needed to change if I wanted to see high school out. My junior year, I walked on to the best high school wrestling team in the state. Coming from a different school, know one really liked me, and or even wanted to get to know me. 


I didn’t really care, I was there for one reason, and one reason only. That was to get good at what I loved. I ended with a record I have only dreamt of, constantly pushing myself to be the best version of me. I had no support for the team, coaches, and or school. 


This also led to me having no friends, since I was so decadent to this sport. It is hard for anyone to not be able to have friends when needed. In many ways I wish I could tell you that this has changed, but it hasn’t.


I am beyond grateful to have gone through this in high school. I have never been so close to my family. They are the people who have supported me, even in the worst of times. They brought so much color to my life, when everything was gray. 


Truly this taught me that you have to love yourself before allowing others to love you. This is the biggest lesson I have learned through high school. One of the most important things to have for the rest of your life.


I honestly love it, I am very independent for a 17 year old. Sometimes I wish I could be that kid who is able to go out all the time with friends. I simply have never had the opportunity to but it sure saved me from a lot of nonsense. 


My senior year brought me a lot of hardship. I was simply the one and only girl on the wrestling team at Arvada West. I was looked down on through the refs and sometimes even coaches just for being a girl. 


I proved myself to many people and I am beyond grateful to have been on that crazy team. Finally knowing I am taking a gap year after high school. I am traveling the world solo, fully funding it myself. 


My power lies, in the strength of my mind, and the strength of my character from which has been molded through friendships, and the loss of them. Through memories, adventures, pain, and joy. 


Moral of the story, don’t allow people to tell you are not capable of doing something. Your dreams are only limited to yourself alone. I have pushed through and came out stronger than before.


The author's comments:

I am a high school girl graduating this year. This is about my 4 years in high school, through the ups and downs. I have never fit in and I am explain why.


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