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No one got hurt
I had just ordered a pizza for the third time that week. It was only Thursday. I was sitting on my couch tryna find the perfect show to watch while I waited for my pizza. I looked down at the coffee table and there was an open soda. I never remembered grabbing a soda, I live alone and I haven’t had anyone over recently so I figure it was probably mine. I take a sip of it and set it back on the table still flipping through channels. The doorbell rings, it was my pizza. I got up to open the door, pay the guy, get my pizza you know the usual. But as I was getting up It almost felt as if my legs were jello and I was a baby who didn’t know how to walk. I’d say I was about a couple of feet from the door. I reached my hand out for the handle but everything went black and I fell. “Do you remember anything else from that night?” The detective asks me. “No, like I said everything went black, I fell and woke up in the hospital. But I do have one question who brought me to the hospital” “the pizza guy” “but how did he know I fell?” “Sir your front doors are fully glass, he saw you fall” “but how’d he get in my house” “your front doors were unlocked. I swear to god sometimes the people we bring in here ted can be so stupid” “Hey! I’m not stupid I have a Ph.D. in…. Wait no I don’t I didn’t go to college. But still, I’m not stupid”
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