How I lost everything | Teen Ink

How I lost everything

January 9, 2023
By Anonymous

“Err, err, err,” The alarm of the bank sound as I throw as much cash as I can into my bag. 

“We have to get out of here” David's deep muffled voice yells through the black mask on his face hiding his identity. I throw one more stack of cash into my bag and I bolt out of the vault. I look up and the hall leads to ways. David was nowhere in sight anymore. I hear the footsteps of what must be 5 policemen. Surely they would put me in hail in an instant and ruin my life. Maybe I deserve it I think to myself. Maybe I'm better dead or in prison.

Ever since jasmine died I've been mentally lost. I’ve done more illegal and awful things in the last year than anyone could imagen. I can't find myself doing anything else. I miss her too much. We were married for a little over 7 years. We even had our first baby on the way. All of it was ruined by some idiot who decided to drive his friends around after he was 8 shots deep and was so drunk he couldn’t tell the policemen his own name. 

Almost 13 months ago, I was driving jasmine and myself home from our dinner at Boka. We just got out of the city and we were about 5 minutes away from home. It was only about 9 o'clock but I was ready to get home as I was exhausted from a long day. I almost fall asleep at the red light, but I shake out of it, look up, and wait for it to turn green. I see the green off the traffic light shine through the pitch-black Chicago sky. I slowly hit the gas and drove straight. While I'm staring into the pitch black ahead of me I hear a “bang” and my body shakes and is lifted in the air as I feel the car slowly float through. The car turns and I close my eyes. The car flies through the air and then gravity pulls as hard as it can hit the hard asphalt road. I am hanging on my side by my seat belt. I can't see anything and navigate through the airbag to find jasmine and see if she is ok. I finally find her and my soul leaves my body. Jasmine sitting there not breathing because of a car crash I got her in will haunt me forever. This is all my fault. She is dead because of me.

“I deserve to be in jail.” the thought that almost no one in the world has ever thought.

I realized this was it. I will get at least 25 years in jail if I don't before then. And if I get out ill be 65 and as useful as a bag of dirt. My life is over. I look from the ground and see 5 policemen in shock to see a theft just on his knees looking at them. As policemen should they expect nobody to be there and for them to run off. But no I am sitting here on my knees thinking about my dead wife. 

“You have the right to remain silent and anything you say will be used against you in court.”

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