lost in myself | Teen Ink

lost in myself

November 4, 2022
By Anonymous

There in a room sat a woman and boy facing each other, can you please tell me when you first noticed it happened? The woman and the boy said it started 3 years ago. writing this down the woman asked him to describe what it is like


The boy thought for a minute before responding. He settles into the couch, takes a sip of water and begins.


There he sat in the back of a car that bumped from the rough road that sent tremors though his unmoving boy. The boy was staring into an unseen void and had every movement jolted his unresponding body. Unknown to everyone but him that it was the cascade of voices and words that had caused him to retreat into himself, and forget the world around him. As he sat there not thinking or feeling oblivious to the conversation about him occurring in front of him. He sat there mind on the verge of unconsciousness and death where he forgot he existed and confused by the lack of anything. He felt a disconnection between his body, thoughts, and feelings growing as he became numb to himself. As a huge bump hit he fell back down and snapped back to the real world even as this happened he felt the memory of the event fading. He knew that he was in a different place and time from the start of the journey. But didn’t even remember starting one but knew that he was on one, yet he also knew where he was. Why are we on the way home? asked the boy.Good morning to you too came a melodic laugh. Why did you say good morning? I never went to sleep said the boy. Then how do you not know what happened? Shaking his head I can see flashes and blur’s but just that, and I felt like I didn't exist, said the boy. I don’t know why that would be said to the woman. Sitting back he felt like he just woke from a waking dream. Left like that for hours never remembering more than before he had always felt as those hours were irrevocably stolen from him.


The author's comments:

The literary device i am using is mimicking raymond carver Raymond carver’s style is a story within a story one in the present and one in the past both in 3rd person both not naming main characters.

For context the story is about how I would describe dissociation as it happens to me. This is something my body and mind does when it gets overwhelmed. I don't know if it is happening nor what happens when I am but I know it happens.


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