Set Piece | Teen Ink

Set Piece

November 3, 2022
By Anonymous

In this set piece I’m experimenting with writing like Raymond Carver and creating a story within a story. I thought I would write about the times I was younger and had trouble sleeping and would always ask my dad to tell me a story before going to bed. 


    It was a cold winter night and she couldn't sleep. Something was keeping her awake but she didn’t know what it was. She quietly tiptoes to her parent’s room. To her surprise she saw her dad’s phone was lit up. Dad, she said. Can you tell me a story? I can’t fall asleep. They go over to her room. And she tucks herself under the cover. What kind of story do you want to hear? Something about your childhood she answers. Ok he begins. 


    It was a hot summer day in India. He went to check on the water buffalos. He went to go pick up buckets of feed and poured it into the trough. Time passes and they finish eating. He then took them one by one, and brought them over to the river near his house for them to drink. Gathering them was a hassle while they all pulled in different directions. Reeling them in he took the ropes and tied it to the trough. After tying them he went to the large patch off green in front of his house.  He was working in the fields, and picked out the weeds from the rice and sugar cane farm. His hands were all roughed up and started to bleed from the weeds scratching it. 


    He picks up his tired and sore feet to the next patch. As he started ther was something moving around in the fields. He caught a glimpse of the tall rice paddies swaying left and right. He turned around and this long black line started to  reveal itself. Was it really a line he thought. He started inching towards the line. Scales started appearing and two bloodshot eyes glaring back at him. His eyes widened when he realized it was a snake. His heart dropped and his legs started running without him realizing it. All he could think about was running far, far away from that thing. His legs started to give out but the thought of seeing that creature started again shook him to his bones. He kept on running until he spotted his house nearing. He spots his house nearing. Rushing in he told his parents of what just happened. 


    The dad looked over to his side seeing the girl laying fast asleep. He flicks the lamp switch off and exits the room closing the door softly behind him. He goes over to lay in bed and stares at the the ceiling reminiscing about his childhood.


The author's comments:

Hi I tried playing around with 3rd person point of view and write a story within a story.


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