Diary of Kitchen Disasters | Teen Ink

Diary of Kitchen Disasters

March 8, 2022
By SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
SparrowSun ELITE, X, Vermont
201 articles 23 photos 1052 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It Will Be Good." (complicated semi-spiritual emotional story.)

"Upon his bench the pieces lay
As if an artwork on display
Of gears and hands
And wire-thin bands
That glisten in dim candle play." -Janice T., Clockwork[love that poem, dont know why, im not steampunk]

Friday, May 5th, 2018
Dear Diary,

It was Melina's 5th birthday today. We gave her a toy stove and some fake foods to play with on it. She was thrilled. She came up and hugged me(or tried to. Her arms aren't very long.). 

She had a party with all her friends. She was very excited about the cake, which she ‘helped’ me make. She added the chocolate- and I won't ever forget it was her, because she's said it about, oh, what, 50 times? Maybe more. 

One of her friends skinned her knee during a scavenger hunt. Melina put a band-aid on it, but Rye still had to drive her home. Luckily, he didn't miss her opening her presents. But he did get to miss about 10 of the “I helped Mommy make the cake!”s, which quickly turned into “I made the cake!”, and then “I made the cake all by myself!”. I didn't correct her though. Adding the chocolate is very important!

It was a long day, but a rewarding one. Oh boy, I think I hear her crying. Goodnight, Diary.


Sunday, May 7th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Remember the toy oven we got Melina? Well she’s going to be just like me when she grows up, a real chef. She's been using it almost nonstop. Her friend, Nia, the one who skinned her knee, got tired of being forced to eat the food Lina made when she came over yesterday. It made no difference to her though. I had to intervene.

Melina only seems to stop when I start cooking meals, at which point she sits watching me, creeping toward the counter where she knows she isn't allowed to sit. 

I hope Mom still has my old toy oven. I don't want to hear all about how Melina wants to bring her oven to Nanas to play with on the days I’m at work.

She was bragging about both her age and her cooking skills to everyone who would listen at church today.

Rye suggested I let her try using the real stove, but luckily she hasn't asked yet. When she does I know I won't be able to say no. He probably won't have to eat very much of it. 

Oh! I forgot today was mothers day. Melina brought me a flower from her church class, but I could tell by her expression she had forgotten too. Rye didn't. He surprised me with some chocolates and flowers. I think Melinas doing something tomorrow.

I need to call Mom. Goodnight.


Monday, May 8th, 2018
Dear Diary

Today was a disaster. So I should have only had lunch shift at work today, from 11:00-3:00. But there were so many people! And then a food critic showed up and I had to stay to help make his food. But then- while he was waiting- we had the oven break. 

He hadn't asked for anything baked(ironic, because we work at a bakery), and I was supposed to be worried about making his food, but I had to help try and fix it.

So I went totally overtime and I was so stressed I didn't keep track of the time. By the time I realized I wouldn't be home until 5:oo(well after Melina gets home), it was too late to call the school and have her dropped off at Moms. so she was alone at home for TWO HOURS. 

What did she do? What else? She tried to make bread. Fortunately, it took her a while. Back to that in a minute.

So she should have only been home an hour and a half before I got there. But I was worried about what she might do, and I might have not been paying the best attention to my speedometer. I got pulled over for 30 minutes and got a ticket. The whole time I was wondering if she had managed to burn down the house yet.

I got home just as she put some sticky lumpy mass of flour and I-don't-know-what-else on top of the stove and was about to turn it on. She herself was covered in flour.

Was she guilty? No! She turned to me and said, “Mommy! I’m making a mothers day cake!:”

So what did I do? The only logical thing. I just stared at the flour all over the floor and her, and the muddy boot prints on the counter, and whatever mess was on the stove, and of course the knife that was very concerningly out on the cutting board, and I screamed.

About that time Rye got home from work. He heard me scream and ran inside. He looked around at everything and turned off the stove. 

His being there made the whole thing slightly better, because at least I wasn't the only one dealing with this. But he didn't even know where to start, and I was still screaming(less loud, now), so we just both stood there, and then Meline said “Daddy, why is Mommy screaming?” as if being covered in flour with warpaint chocolate syrup on her face was perfectly ordinary.

So then I said, “I’ll bathe her, you clean up the…” but then I didn't know where to start. So I just muttered something that could have been stove, counter, or floor, and he pretended to understand. 

I grabbed her hand- ignoring the terrifying stickiness, and dragged her toward the bathroom. She started crying, especially when I started washing her. I ignored her, which I don't normally do, so it scared her even more.

Unfortunately, I couldn't get all the mystery stuff(i think it was glue) out of her hair, and most of it had to be cut off. She was terribly angry. This whole ordeal took about an hour. Then I told her to go to her room until dinner- at which point I realized dinner still needed to happen. I could not do justice to her reaction, so I won't try to describe it. Suffice it to say, there was a lot of kicking, screaming, pleading, and crying involved.

I forced her to go to her room(and locked it, just in case) and then headed out to the kitchen/living room where Rye was. He was fantastic. He had the floor and counter as if she had never touched them. He seemed to have been working at the mess on the stove for quite some time though, and it wasn't budging. I hit the self clean button on the stove to get it to burn off. This took 2 hours though, and it was already 6:30. Melina's bedtime was at 8. Dinner was beginning to look less and less likely. 

But then instead of getting a chance to relax, I had to go work things out with Melina, and he had to make sure nothing was irreparably broken. To my knowledge, everything was fine. Melina wasn’t in a forgiving mood, and the fact that I didn't have any cookies to bribe her with didn't help. She still doesn't understand how what she did could have been wrong, and is trying to give me the silent treatment(the way this works is: i say something. She says loudly while staring in the other direction, “I’m not talking to you.” I say something that interests her or makes her laugh. She forgets she’s ignoring me for a few minutes. Then she remembers, glares at me, and stomps off.). She’ll forget by tomorrow.

So then, at last, I got a moment to tell Rye what had happened, but when I started explaining it all I just started crying because I was so stressed, so he told me to take a nap and got me tucked in. I fell asleep immediately and woke up 3 hours later feeling much better. So I went to the living room/kitchen and he was sitting there reading a book. He looked up and offered me dinner! He had run to the grocery store and gotten donuts and some lunch meat(I take this as concrete evidence that he wasn't paying attention the countless times I ranted about the importance of nutrition) and called it dinner, then he put Melina to bed. 

I ate some of the ‘dinner’ to be polite, and explained to him what had happened until I got drowsy. Then I came in and started writing in you. I’m going to text in to work that I'm taking tomorrow off, then going to sleep. Happy mothers day to me. Goodnight. 


Thursday, May 11th, 2018
Dear Diary,

So I haven't written since Monday because I didn't want to open you and see last entry. But I guess I’ll add a different entry to see next time instead. 

So. On Tuesday I pretty much slept. Even though I was home, I had Lina get off at her grandmothers’. I slept a lot, I took a bath, and I cooked to cool my nerves. Then I ate almost everything I cooked, to Rye's eternal disappointment(I saved him a scone, but Melina got to it before he did). Then yesterday I had both breakfast and lunch shifts, but not dinner, so Melina came home after school. She was watching me cook more attentively than normal. And Diary, I was right to be afraid.

Today when she got home, she asked if she could cook dinner. She didn't even ask if she could help cook dinner. She asked if she could cook dinner itself. I told her she could help today and we could make something on Saturday. Then I panicked because I was making a pork roast for dinner and there were no jobs that didn't involve touching raw meat or knives. So I let her salt it.

I tried to make sure she was careful and didn't put too much, but i swear she dumped half of the stupid can in. I got her to go play with the cat so she wouldn't see me frantically trying to scrape off the salt. Alas, my attempts at salt-scraping were no good. Dinner was ruined. At least it didn't burn. Dinner was on time though. So I made some salad real quick while the roast cooked so we would have something to eat. I cooked the roast so that Melina would learn what too much salt did to food. But she liked it! No lessons were learned at all.

Rye leaves to visit family tomorrow.

I’m not going to write in you tomorrow, as I need to spiritually prepare myself for Saturday and what I will inevitably be forced to eat. Goodnight, Diary.


Saturday, May 13th, 2018
Dear Diary

The dreaded day came. I put it off as long as I could, for fear of Melina burning down the house. But at some point, I had to let her do it.

I could have let her ‘help’ and add a couple ingredients. But I wanted her to learn. So I called Mom just in case and had her come over to make certain that nothing burned down. Rye was safe, visiting his sister in Michigan.

So I asked her what she wanted to make(brownies), and I got all the ingredients(we recently padlocked all the cabinets, just to be safe) for her and told her exactly what to do, but I let her mix and pour and all. Except for the milk, because I was certain she wouldn't be strong enough to pour it without spilling. 

Mom was ready with towels, carefully watching the whole time. 

She even got to turn on the oven. I put them in and took them out, because I didn't want her to burn herself and I didn't know if she could take them out.

They were burned, she set the oven too high. In the middle, though, they weren't burned, so we got to taste all the clumps of cocoa powder, butter, and pockets of sour milk. Mom and I put on a brave face, but she started crying and said she would never be able to cook right like me.

I tried to comfort her vaguely, but Mom took the opportunity to tell her the story of my first brownies. I wished I could storm off like a child, but I couldn't. It had the desired effect though, she laughed. 

She didn't just laugh though, it was a malicious laugh(according to me, and only me.). She's not going to forget it any time soon. So what if I started a fire when I was a kid? It was a small one…

Now that I say that, I have a new appreciation for my poor mother.

I promised Melina that we could start cooking every Saturday. Ugh! I am too young for this. Is it possible to get grey hair at 28?

I miss Rye. And I think he timed his visit to avoid this. He may have planned it 2 weeks ago, but that just proves that he can see the future, something which I've been trying to prove since our marriage 6 years ago. 

I’ve got to put Melina to bed now. Goodnight, Diary.


Sunday, May 14th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Rye got home today!

He got back about an hour after we did. I was getting tired of hearing Melina brag about making brownies, but then she started repeating the story Mom told her with embellishments. Everyone at church now knows I burned down my childhood neighborhood and was narrowly saved by Prencis Cinmin(her favorite doll. She just started to learn how to spell in school and has made name tags for all her toys.).

Melina was utterly and totally disgusted when Rye and I kissed. We violently forced her to take it back by means of tickles. She could not withstand our torture.

Speaking of torture, I, being a thoughtful wife, saved a piece of brownie for him. It was half burnt, but some of it was edible. He choked it down for her hopeful eyes. I asked her to go make some eggs on her toy stove. She gladly obliged and Rye was left with the freedom to puke.

Ok so it sounds like I'm giving the kid a hard time, but that brownie was actually full of pockets of bad milk. Her arm got tired so she assumed that mixing was optional and I didn't notice until it was too late. And remember how she didn't learn her lesson about salt? She put in three times as much salt as the recipe called for and I don't even want to guess how much sugar.

He and his sister had a good time. Not much happened. They went to a zoo and he brought back a stuffed tiger for Melina. She loved it.

Goodnight, Diary.


Tuesday, May 16th, 2018
Dear Diary,

I have an official helper in the kitchen. Melina has started ‘helping’ every time I cook at home. I let her turn on the stove or add pre-measured ingredients. I don't let her stir. She seems to be very proud of herself. I wonder if she’ll explode tomorrow(I have the dinner shift at work) or get Mom to let her cook.

I hope not, Mom can't resist her even when she doesn't use puppy eyes. I don't want to hear that the house was burned down. 

Rye seems to find it funny, but he’s going to be home this Saturday. We’ll see who's laughing.

Goodnight, Diary.


Wednesday, May 17th, 2018
Dear Diary,

I got an earful when I picked Melina up from Moms’. Apparently, the school has an after-school cooking program. It sounds excellent, and they’ll have people to make sure she makes something good. So the entire 15-minute ride home I heard all about this amazing program. I was impressed, very few things hold her interest so long.

Not much happened at work. Cindy forgot some steak in the oven, it got burnt black and almost caught fire. And the new waitress, I think her name is Linda, burnt her hands trying to carry out a plate of fish. She forgot to never hold the bottom and dropped it. Poor Linda(?). She must have been mortified.

Melina wants me to go see something. Goodnight, Diary.


Monday, May 22, 2018
Dear Diary,

I haven't written in what, 5 days? So Thursday I went to school to sign Melina up for the cooking program. I had her go home to Mom's house, assuming Mom would be ready for her.

She wasn't. Melina got in trouble for cooking when she was home alone and she thinks that's the only rule. She seemed to miss the supervision part. So Mom was taking a nap at the time, and Melina thoughtfully didn't wake her up. Instead, she went to the kitchen and pulled out a bunch of random items, threw them together, and put them in the stove. They caught fire.

She screamed and woke up Mom, but she had seen Rye and I try to clean up before and thought she could handle it. Before Mom got there, she reached in with BARE HANDS to try and take out the thing she was cooking. But she was smart about it. She figured since fire and water are opposites, if she ran water on her hands she wouldn't get hurt. So she got her hands a good ways into the fire before she drew them back. 

Then mom got in and used a fire extinguisher. She called me and took Melina to the hospital. Lina got second-degree burns and is still recovering. I have to go put burn ointment on her hands now.



Thursday, May 25th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Burns are starting to heal. She went to school today. Came home crying because the other kids laughed at her. Hasn't asked to cook since the incident.


Friday, May 26th, 2018
Dear Diary,

So I explained to her that it was ok to cook and that she was allowed to cook as long as she had someone with her. She seemed to understand. She still shys away from the stove, but her desire to cook seems to be overriding her fear.

So I neglected to record Ryes reaction. 

He, of course, rushed to the hospital and hovered around her until the doctors sent him out because he was in their way. I would have gone with him, but she needed me to be near her.

He’s been quiet since. I don't know if he somehow blames himself or something, but he won't talk about it. He’s pretending to be fine. 

I wish I could help my family better.


Sunday, May 28th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Today was Ryes birthday. He is now 30. 

We didn't do much. Went to church, came home. Melina offered to make a cake, but I said that she shouldn’t be touching cooking stuff until her bandages were off(holding a crayon hurts her.). I made him a pie, upon which he put too much whipped cream(a birthday tradition for him), and I scolded him(also a tradition).

He’s still quiet. But Melina's getting better, and he seems less subdued.

Melina started a new tradition of joining my scolding. But she doesn't understand that I'm teasing, and she took it entirely too far. It was irritating at the time, but in hindsight, it was pretty cute.

Goodnight, Diary.



Sunday Still
Dear Diary,

Hahaha. Somebody snuck in when she thought I was asleep. I watched her scribble for about 5 minutes and then threw up my blanket and shouted “BOO!” at the top of my lungs. She screamed and ran back to her room, where she hid under the covers. Rye was still awake and we laughed together until I went to comfort her. 

Her hand seems to have mostly healed if she was able to write.

Time to get some real sleep.


Tuesday, May 30th, 2018
Dear Diary,

The bandages are off! She’s doing just about the same as before. She was back in school yesterday and doing fine.

Rye is also doing better.

Work is getting busier, we got a new chef yesterday.

Melina had no school for memorial day. We all went to the beach.



Thursday, June 1st, 2018
Dear Diary,

I picked up Melina from Mom's house today and the smoke alarms were running. Naturally, I just about had a heart attack.

I ran in and she and Mom were pulling some glazed rice bars out of the oven. The glaze had too much sugar or something and was smoking, but it was fine. The food itself wasn't great, but nothing burned down.

She asked to help make dinner tonight, which made me feel better. I even let her(a little). We’re going to cook something this Saturday. She wants to try something without a recipe. Normally I would say no, but I’m just glad she's feeling better.


Friday, June 2nd, 2018
Dear Diary,

Tomorrow I die.

I realized today what I agreed to yesterday: no recipe. It’s going to be toxic, flammable, or explosive. Probably all of the above. So tomorrow, I die. I’ve informed Rye that I want to be buried in the cemetery a town over, next to Dad. 

On a different note, I’ve installed a lock on you. I don't think Melina could read you, but if she knew the truth about her… cooking, it could crush her. So hence, a key. 

Rye will be home tomorrow. He’ll get to try it.

I should tell her I changed my mind, but I can just see her big eyes. “But Mommy, you promised!” and then she’ll get Mom to let her. So hence, I do all the reading of high school chemistry teachers’ manuals and hope for the best. 



Saturday, June 3rd, 2018
Dear Diary,

The dreaded day arrived. I asked her what she was making, but she just mumbled noncommittally and smiled. I thought her smile looked rather malicious. She started with boiling milk. She quickly made it clear she had no intention of watching it, because she started cutting up a banana(so I supervised the milk, but I did cut the banana too so she wouldn't be handling a knife). 

She put on this banana flour(she didn't measure) and sugar. She started heading outside but I stopped her. She said she wanted dandelion greens because she heard they were edible(she said the word ‘edible’ with great pride, though she pronounced it eb-idle). I refused. She also tried to get some of the velcro wooden foods she has to play with and put them in, but I told her no.

So the milk was, at this point, boiling, so I asked her what she wanted to do with it. She said “oh yeah”, and then started to pour it over the other stuff that was on the counter. I made her put it in a bowl. She resented this. The milk was still boiling when it went in with the banana- cooking the banana. Finally, she put in about twice as much chocolate as had been flour, and she called it good. She never once stirred. 

She was very proud of herself at first. Then I told her she had to clean up, and her glow dimmed. Then we(Rye included) tasted it. Rye and I pretended to eat and then said we were full, but she went head-in. She got sick.

It was only a little food poisoning, she was fine. She did get out of helping me clean the mess up(I would have ended up doing it anyway, but I wanted her to at least try). I’m putting in for a Saturday shift at work next week.

Tuesday, June 6th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Melina asked on Sunday when we were driving home from church why Rye and I didn't get sick(perceptive child). I told her adults had iron stomachs because we were superheroes. She asked why I got sick 2 months ago. I told her germs were our kryptonite, and she got confused. She sat there thinking for a while, and when she started to ask another question that was sure to be my undoing(something like ‘but aren't germs what makes you sick?), Rye distracted her with the food game(name as many foods as you can in each food group, we use it to teach her nutrition).

Speaking of the food game, yesterday I got held up and worked after hours with another tech breakdown(We need to get our stuff fixed. But Meg is too cheap, she’ll never do it). I got home after Rye had put Melina to bed. He had been in charge of dinner, and they ate donuts and chips and coffee right before bedtime- for dinner!! I went over nutrition with Rye. He smiled and nodded. I think he was laughing on the inside. In hindsight, I’m laughing a little too.



Thursday, June 8th, 2018
Dear Diary,

I have work this Saturday! No Lina cooking!


Friday, June 9th, 2018
Dear Diary,

I told Melina and she asked if she could come in to work with me. Obviously, no. so shes going to go to Mom’s.

I didn't have work today, but Rye did and Melina had school, so I didn't have much to do. I cleaned yesterday, so I was totally free today. I did a lot of baking(and this time i didn't eat it all) and read a book.

Oh! Today is the last day of school! I forgot. We’re going on a vacation to Maine with Mom. Melina wants to go to France(Frence!) because they learned about it in school. We are in no way leaving the country. But she is going to live in “Frence” when she grows up.

Melina was thrilled with the food and had a ‘party’ to celebrate the end of school with some of her toys. Tomorrow is my last day at work for the summer. I take leave for the time that Lina is home and go back when shes at school. It's worked out with my boss(Meg). I think they replace me with a high school student who isn't busy during the summer but is during school, and they get a credit or something for it.



Sunday June 11th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Yesterday Rye and Melina went to the movies for a bonding thing while I was at work. I am quite certain he took the occasion to give her straight sugar for lunch instead of real food. He utterly denies it. 

When I got home though, she was dancing around in fairy wings pretending to be the main character of whatever movie they watched. She was telling me about it, but she had her mouth full of a bagel(I brought home some real food since I know she probably didn't get any earlier) so I didn't understand her. Rye was wearing a princess tiara she forced him into(he absolutely can’t say no to her when she gets really cute. That’s why I don't trust him unsupervised to get a meal when she’s in the area.). He also had a bagel, and used it as an excuse to escape her putting lip stick on him.

She was talking about going to Maine(and then she started saying we were going to Frence) in Church today and one of her friends thought it sounded cool, so she’s been pleading for her friend to come with us. Apparently, she promised this friend that she could come. I’m sure her parents said no anyways.

She thinks we’re leaving tomorrow. We’re leaving in two weeks. She’s going to be really disappointed tomorrow when she figures out that I really meant it when i said we weren't leaving tomorrow and no, we can't leave early. Once we’re in Maine, she’ll probably get bored after the first day. We’re there for a week. Oh- I can see her through the door taking Prencis Cinmin to her toy suitcase. Rye is putting her back in bed. I should help.



Wednesday, June 14th, 2018
Dear Diary,

She didn't cry last night! Truly, a miracle. Today Rye bought the tickets and I booked us a place to stay. Lina had her friend over today and they played airplane for a while. Then Lina was struck by brilliance- she became an airplane chef. Then she asked me if she could make food for all the people on the airplane. I said no. she said please. I still said no, we could cook plenty beforehand. “And then sell that to the people on the plane?” No, naturally. 

I consented, after her friend left, to let her cook tomorrow. 

The coolest thing happened. We had dinner, and then Melina and Rye went to watch TV(she’s only allowed to watch TV after dinner. Which is unfortunate for Rye because that’s about the only time he can watch TV and chill.). Normally that’s when I wash the dishes, feed the cat, ect. But tonight I fed the cat and threw the dishes in the washer, but there wasn't any pending laundry or any uncleaned messlinas(what we call Melina’s messes. She thinks it's brilliant. When she gets older, she’ll probably hate it, and so Rye will never stop saying it.), and I didn't feel like tidying our room, so I wandered around and was about to grab a book, but Rye spotted me and said I should come join him and Melina watching some cartoon. I shrugged and went over. Then we all curled up together and Melina squeezed in between us and it felt so warm and safe and happy. And then the cartoon character asked a question and Melina shouted the (wrong) answer. We laughed and the feeling sorta dissipated. It felt good.



Thursday, June 15th, 2018
Dear Diary,

She made ‘muffins’ and dumped at least a ¼ cup of sugar on each one. She forgot to set the timer, so I reminded her. She set it for 5 minutes.

She didn't stir again, she moved the spoon around a few times and then delegated the task to me. I stirred it thoroughly. Then she put in a mystery ingredient and told me to keep stirring. It looked theoretically edible, so i let her. Ok, so it didn't look edible, but i didn't think it was toxic. Then she added in the ‘sugar’ which she multiplied by three- and she thought that the salt was sugar and i was distracted by preheating the oven, so i didn't notice until it was too late. And then she poured them all over the muffin tin without adding cups. I didn't have any time to react. 

So we got basically batter in no real form, which she pounced on immediately and took a massive bite from- and she swallowed before she caught the taste. She then puked- on the muffin tin. I didn't clean the tin. I just threw it out. It wasn't worth it. She got food poisoning too. She’s still sick.

Goodness, what will I do with the child? She’s sure to poison us all before she turns ten.


Saturday, June 17th, 2018
Dear Diary,

Lina seems to have forgotten that we’re leaving soon. She’s stopped talking about it and was surprised and excited when I mentioned it. She was disappointed when i told her that she could absolutely not cook in Maine.

She wanted to cook, but i told her one lost dish a week was plenty. Just kidding, that’s what I said in my head. To her, I said one dish a week was plenty. And she was still sick yesterday; she has a short memory. 

Not much else happened. Goodnight!


Monday, June 19th, 2018
Dear Diary,

We leave a week from today. Mom came over and got Melina all hyped up for the trip, and after she left Lina wouldn't stop talking about it. Rye took off next week at work today. I started making lists of everything that needs to be packed.

I was getting a little bored without work, so I’m glad for the interuption. I won't be bringing you, in case i lost you or got you wet or something. I’ll telling you about it when we get back.

We’ll be in Maine for a week, with flights next Monday to get there and the Monday after to get back. Mom is paying for the flights. 

My old college roommate lives in Maine. She’s being keeping up with Linas exploits on facebook, and is thirled(?) to meet her. She owns a little Cafe that's doing pretty well. Her name is Citrus. 

On the way back, we’re going to stop and meet Ryes Mom(who lives in New York- not the city). She doesn't get to see Melina very often, and Melina is very excited. 



Thursday, June 22nd, 2018
Dear DIary,

Can Monday get here already?

The excitement of going wore off on Melina on Tuesday, and Rye and I yesterday. Nothing’s happened.

We’re all tired of preparing for Maine and ready to actually go. The days are so monotonous.


-Anise, Bored Baker

Sunday! June 25th, 2018
Dear Diary,

We’ve been packing all day and we’re almost ready to go. Melina had trouble getting to sleep. Mom is with her right now, trying to get her to sleep. We leave tomorrow morning at 5. Rye will probably have to carry Lina, she’s sure to be fast asleep.

My suitcase is on the trunk at the foot of the bed. Rye’s is by the door, next to moms. Lina filled a small bag(we have stuff for her in the family case) with her ‘friends’, her favorite toys.

This is where I say goodbye, diary, for the week. I’ll see you when I get home.

See you next week!


Tuesday, July 4th, 2018
Dear old Diary,

We got home yesterday, but I was too tired to write. This is goodbye, despite your unfilled pages. I’ll be telling my new diary about the trip- and Melina's stunt in my friend's kitchen. 

While we were in Maine, Rye got me a cute mini diary with a muffin on the cover as a souvenir, so it's time to put you on the shelf. I’m really looking forward to reading back on you though. In hindsight, some of the nightmares were pretty funny, even if I didn't think so at the time.

Can't wait to break in the new one!


Saturday, August 17th, 2025
Dear World,

I was looking back on my old diaries and I found this gem. I had a good laugh reading it, and I decided to publish it for the world to see. So I’m about to copy you and send you off to the publisher! I think they’ll edit and probably embellish you(maybe Li’s stories will become true!). So Lina is all grown up and 12 now. She’s allowed to cook, and she enjoys it, but not as much as when she was a kid. This diary was the peak of her craze. I might publish the muffin one later though.

Li was bright pink when I read the old entries to her. She says she's dreading you getting published, but I know she's excited. Rye’s at my back, of course. 

Li has a brother now, Almond. Al is 9. They’re best friends and adventuring buddies. Almond has no interest in cooking, though he also got into mischief when he was little. Rye is their superhero. He’s not doing much besides work. He plays with the kids on the weekend. 

I own my own bakery now and the kids come hang out after school, eating more pastries than I should let them. Melina helps in the kitchen sometimes. We’re talking about letting her work after school as a cashier. None of those stories are in the muffin diary though. It's short, like this one. Small book, filled to the brim.

And that's all, for us. So, goodbye, Diary.


The author's comments:

comedy, for once.

enjoy with fresh croissants. 

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