1.

2019, June 5th, it was another clammy summer day at the central park of Guangzhou, China. Suen Zhi and his ex-wife Han Meimei stood aside, in silence, watching at their nine-year-old boy riding a three-wheeled bike at the park. Suen Zhi wore a black mask that covered most of his face, a long sleeve and long pant, which made him separate from others with summer clothes.

“Watch me, dad!” The boy turned his head to Suen Zhi, pulled back his hands on the handle.

“He’s not…” Han Meimei opened and shut her mouth.

Suen Zhi smiled at the boy, and the boy smile back reluctantly.

“So, how are you doing lately? How’s work?” Han Meimei asked Suen Zhi.

“It was uh…it was fine. And thank you, for introducing this job to me.” Suen Zhi shrugged.

“No problem.”

“It’s just…I hope to do something that fits my expertise…”

“You still want to be a…a lawyer, with criminal records?” Han Meimei chuckled. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for a criminal to find a job these days? You should feel lucky that my uncle owns a convenient store.”

“Of…of course,” Suen Zhi said. “And thank you, again.”

“You're welcome.”

Suen Zhi looked into the distance, where his son had riding far away from him

“I hate you, you know that?” Han Meimei said.

“Why is that?” Suen Zhi asked, and lighting up a cigarette.

“You left me during the toughest years of my life; you left the kid, he would…would never have the chance to have a normal father.”

Suen Zhi took a long pull of cigarette, looked at the far distance.

2.

2009, April 2nd, a sticky summer evening. Han Meimei stood nervously in front of her apartment's door nervously. It was a few weeks ago when she found that she was pregnant, and freaked out. She went to all five doctors that she knew, until every one of them assure that she had a baby.

She was not afraid of having a baby, what really panicked her, was telling this news her husband Suen Zhi.

Suen Zhi was a criminal justice attorney, a charm but strange man. Suen Zhi’s father Li Fang was murdered at his youth when their neighbor Zhang Long tried to take the ownership of their house and the quarter acre of farm field. Since then, Suen Zhi and his father started a new life in this strange city, but the shadow never really left him, but grew even darker and deeper after his father died of illness.

Han Meimei did not know how he would react this, she was afraid that he would not be stable enough to handle this, or if he wanted a child. For weeks, she had been planning to tell Suen Zhi, but she did nothing until her belly has grown too obvious that she could not hide anymore.

She took a deep breath and knocked on the door, but nobody answered. It was weird, because Suen Zhi would usually be at home at this point. Han Meimei knocked again and still nobody responded, so she came downstairs, and found Suen Zhi on the garden with a black-white photo of an old man, and a small pile of fire in front of it.

“What are you doing?” Han Meimei was asked. She recognized that the old man was his father. “What happened?”

 “I heard from my friend at D.A.,” Suen Zhi said, “the murderer didn’t stay in jail for long, he got out of jail five years ago because he had some connection to the government. Do you know he lives in my house now? Yes, he occupied my house since I and mom left.”

“That’s obstruction of justice,” Han Meimei said, “You gotta do something about it.”

“There’s nothing I can do.”

“There must be something.”

“No, nothing,” Suen Zhi yelled, kicked the fire. “The man who killed my father is out there, and I can’t do anything about it.” The wind blew the burning paper with fire to the grass, made a small fire.

“Stop!” Suen Zhi took off his shirt and flapped the fire. Till the flames were put out, he kneeled on the black ashes, teared up like a baby.

3.

“I'm thinking about going back home,” Suen Zhi said, after coming out of the shower and washed out all the smoke.

“Home? What are you talking about? This is our home.”

“I meant the Stone Gate Town, I haven't gone there for a while,” Suen Zhi said. The Stone Gate was a small town of Hunan Province, in the middle of China, it was the place where his old house at, and where his father got killed.

“A while? You haven’t gone back there for what? Ten years? Why would you want to go back to that sh*thole? Besides, what are you going to do when you get there?”

“I was…just thinking what you just said, I need to do something.”

“You’re a lawyer, do your law thing, you know? I didn’t mean you to…murder him.”

“I didn’t say I’m going to hurt him…”

“But that’s what you plan to do?”

Suen Zhi did not answer.

“Are you seriously planning a murder?”

“Nobody will notice,” Suen Zhi said.

“You need to calm down, and stop behave like a…psychopath.”

“I’m not being crazy, he is the one who killed dad, I am defending my family.”

“And where is this family?” Han Meimei said. “Look, I’m sorry your father died, I'm sorry that b**t*rd got away with it, but please, get away with it. Your dad and mom, they are dead, and now you have a new family, wake the hell up!” Han Meimei shouted, slammed the bedroom door.

Looked like that Suen Zhi had to use another bedroom tonight. But he did not intend to. He went downstairs and called a taxi. “To the train station, please.” He said.

3.

“Where the hell are you? Please tell me you are not at a train to Hunan.” Han Meimei’s call woke Suen Zhi up at the train.

“I am, in fact, at a train to Hunan.”

“Do you have any idea how crazy you are right now?”

“I could do this, trust me, nobody would know.”

“Are we seriously discussing a mur…You know what? I had enough of this, we are done, don't ever come back.” Han Meimei said, coldly. As they were speaking, the train stopped at a station, and the doors opened.

“No, please, you don’t mean that.”

“I will not allow my child to has an irresponsible father like you,” Han Meimei said.

“You are pregnant?” Suen Zhi shouted. Han Meimei forgot to tell Suen Zhi last night because he was in such a bad mood.

“I’m coming!” Suen Zhi shouted at the phone, but the Han Meimei was already hanged up. Suen Zhi ran out of the train to the booking office at full speed to take the latest train back. But on the crowded platform, he ran into a man and his phone slide out of his hand into the railway.

“No, no, please don't do this to me.” He kneeled on the dirty floor while people’s feet stepping upon him. The train whistled and about to deport, Suen Zhi ground his tooth, ran back to the train back home.

4.

By the first light of dawn, an old friend came home for the first time in ten years at the Stone Gate Town, by the first train in the morning, and a few hours of bumpy mountain roads.

Suen Zhi walked toward the cabin, a knife he bought at the local market was hidden in his pocket. Nobody saw him, he made sure of that. It was a quiet town, most of the young people went to big cities to work, only lifeless old people left.

He soon recognized the old cabin, it was at the end of the village under the huge withered peach tree. He walked toward it, and knocked on the door.

A man opened the door. Suen Zhi recognized that he was Zhang Long

“What do you want?” Zhang Long said.

“You forget me,” Suen Zhi said, “but I remember you.” Suen Zhi pulled out a small knife. The blade almost touched Zhang Long's throat's skin. “I could recognize you even if you turn into ashes.” Suen Zhi shouted, pushed the blade even harder, till it pierced the skin, a few drops of blood flowed down from his neck. Zhang Long started chocking.

“I know you.” Zhang Long whispered with his last bit of air.

Suen Zhi smirked, the revenge had been much easier than he thought.

“Stop!” A sharp scream at his back shocked him. He looked back, it was a woman, held a month-old baby.

Suen Zhi looked at the baby’s eyes and he saw fear like he was, when his father was killed. He also thought about his child, though he never met him or her yet.

Suen Zhi putted the knife on the floor carefully. The pain came back from his leg and spread to his whole body. From not far of the cabin, he heard instinct police car sirens.

Suen Zhi looked at the woman, she had a phone in her hand. She called the police.

“Go outside,” Suen Zhi said peacefully, “you and the baby would be safe with the police.”

“I'm not going anywhere without my husband.” The woman said.

“I won't hurt him, I promise,” Suen Zhi said. “I will never hurt an innocent child's father, trust me, I know how that feels.” He looked at the baby, smiled. The woman used her arm to cover the baby's eyes.

“Put your dirty hand out of my child!” the woman yelled.

“Go outside, honey,” Zhang Long said. “I and this man here have something that needs to resolve.” The woman hesitated a while, then nodded and left.

Watched them walked out of the door, Zhang Long looked back on Suen Zhi, “look, I'm sorry, man.” He said, “For everything that I did.”

“It hurts me,” Suen Zhi sniffed, “it still does.”

“I…I'm sorry, I wish I could go back to change it but… I can't. I regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Well, if you truly that regret it that much, you wouldn’t bribe your way out of the prison,” Suen Zhi said.

“What could I say, I have a family to feed.” Zhang Long sighed.

“Sure,” Suen Zhi said. They looked at each other in silence, the police siren was getting closer and closer.

“The cops are going to need a few minutes to come in,” Suen Zhi said, “do you have some wine? I figured I wouldn't have a chance to have any in prison.”

“Of course, of course. Had some tough things to forget, huh?”

“Yeah…my wife just divorced me.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s terrible.” Zhang Long took out an old clay bottle of Chinese white spirits, poured into two small glass cups, handed one of the cups to Suen Zhi. “I made those myself, the strongest baijiu you could find, those are what you need right now.”

Suen Zhi did not drink it. He poured the spirits slowly down to the floor.

“I'm sure your father will like it,” Zhang Long said.

“You know what he would really like?” Suen Zhi said, “A candle. That’s how I would pray for him. His favorite quote was from Mao during the revolution. ‘A single spark can start a prairie fire’”

“That's beautiful,” Zhang Long said. “You know what? I have some candles, let's pray for him.” He garbed a candle from the closet, lighted up and gave it to Suen Zhi. Suen Zhi put the candle down on the floor carefully. The police siren stopped, outside the window, people are coming out of cars. Suen Zhi looked at his watch, it was seven o’clock in the morning.

“It’s time for me to leave.”

“You don't deserve this, let me talk to them…”

“No, you stay here.” Suen Zhi turned around and walked out of the door, tens of guns were pointing at him by the police

Facing the bright light of the dawn, Suen Zhi walked out lifelessly, like a rainy sunset. He raised his hands on the air, and kneeled on the ground. Two policemen walked to him, one was thin and one had long-black bear. The thin one putted a handcuff on Suen Zhi’s wrists, and dragged him to the police car.

On the way, Suen Zhi passed the woman, she was looking at him suspiciously, and the child was sleeping in her arm.

“What time is it?” Suen Zhi asked one of the officers.

“Seven fifty-five, sir.” The officer said.

“Hey,” Suen Zhi stopped, and said to the woman, “could you give me a look of your child?” Suen Zhi said to the woman. “Please, I have a child of my own, but I will not be able to see its birth.”

The woman hesitated a while, then walked back to him. She held the child to his chest because Suen Zhi’s hand was handcuffed, he could not hold it himself.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” He asked.

“A girl.” The woman said.

“I’ve always wanted a boy.” Suen Zhi said, “I never tell my wife, or anyone about this before, but sometimes I would fantasize myself coaching him sports, protecting them from the bullies, giving them life advices…doing the duties of a father.”

“That’s beautiful, you must have a really nice father.” The woman said.

Suen Zhi did not respond, he turned to the officer, “What time is it?”

 “Seven fifty-nine.” An officer said, “We should get moving, sir.”

Suen Zhi looked back to the house, “No.” He said.

“This is not up to you.”

Suen Zhi did not answer, he looked down on the grass. “Thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three…” He counted.

“This is the last warning, or I will take you forcefully.” The officer yelled.

Suen Zhi did not notice him again. “Fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine…come on, come on!” He murmured, then he started laughing in hysterics, then maniacally.

From the cabin, came with Zhang Long’s howl, hopeless and frenzy, reverberated in the peaceful village, like the pig when getting slaughtered by Suen Zhi’s father for the Lunar New Year Eve. For a moment, everyone stopped their doings, looked at the cabin. A few seconds later, red fires and black smoke rushed through the roof and windows into the orange-blue sky of dawn; bright flames were like tongues of the devil, relentlessly licking, killing, and destroying everything lives, everything around it.

In front of the fire, Suen Zhi kneeled on the grass feebly, took a final look of his great work. Fifteen minutes it took for the candle to burn, till it was short enough to light the white spirit on the floor.

A burning heatwave pushed Suen Zhi on the ground, followed by a huge collision sound of the roof, and the fire went all over him.

5.

Because the prosecution did not have any evidence of Suen Zhi’s murder, he was only been charged with break in and entry and murder attempted, of nine years in prison.

Since his release, things had changed a lot. The baby was born and grew up, it was a beautiful and energetic boy like Suen Zhi wanted, but his father was not Suen Zhi any more, it was a much older man, with a long beard and round glasses. He and Han Meimei got divorced eventually.

After seeing the boy ride out far enough, Suen Zhi took out his mask, his face was covered by horrified burns. “Could I ask you something?” Suen Zhi asked.

Han Meimei did not respond.

“You knew the truth, you knew I murdered him. If you hate me so much, why don’t you tell the jury the truth? You could give me the death penalty.”

“I couldn't.”

“What do you mean you couldn’t?”

“I just, couldn’t.”

“You were under oath on the court, you committed perjury.”

“I’m also under a greater oath, that I would never betray my family.” Han Meimei looked into Suen Zhi's eyes, said, and turned around left with the baby.

“That’s what I did!” Suen Zhi yelled at their retreating figure.