August 15th, 1914  month 1         Location: East side trenches

From the time i was deployed here to the time now the days have seemed longer. Every minute feels like an hour. My hands are cramped from holding this rifle to protect my life. My buddy John isn't doing too well from all of this stress. we haven't seen the sun in days due to the smoke from all of the shooting and bombs. I'm not sure if this is my last day to live so, goodbye. Just in case.

                  
         I write in my torn up journal with my hand shaking. My heart beating fast from exhaustion. My boots covered in dust. I look back over to John telling him everything will be okay. “ We will live through this,”
I say yelling at him hoping he can hear me. John is my best friend and I’ve known him my whole life. He has two kids and a wife waiting for him at home. Of course this worries him even more if he dies, but on the other hand it pushes him to come home alive greeting his son and daughter at the front door and kissing his wife. “I don't believe you,” he says.
“There is too many of them.”
His voice became harsh as  his lungs filled with black smoke. “I promise we will live through this!” Just believe me!” I remember when I first signed up for this war. It actually was three months ago at the town hall. I wanted to sign up early  so I'd get a spot on the list. Thomas Ashton  is my name and I got it from my grandfather whom I have never met in my life. Surprising I know. That’s what I put on that evil piece of paper. My innocent name with my young age written with that stupid pencil. They never said the war would be like this. At seventeen it seemed like a good way to support my family. My home in Georgia holds just me and my parents. My father expects a lot from me. He was the one who gave me the idea of signing up. Of course I already knew I wanted to but he says a true man will fight any war no matter what. I didn't know what that “ no matter what” meant at the time. My mother hated the idea of me doing this. She had a bad feeling the day I signed up. Typical mother I guess.

                     The Germans receded to their bases.The smoke cleared to the point where we could all finally see each others faces. John calmed down a little. “I told you,”
I said to him while he nodded, agreeing with me. “ This whole thing is just….”
He never really did finish what he was gonna say. I looked back over to talk to him but he had already walked off to clear his mind I guess. I lifted my helmet off my head and scratched my sweaty forehead. I sat down in the makeshift dirt seat beside the wooden ammo boxes.I looked down at my boots covered in mixed sand and mud. I cleared some off with my hand.  As I thought about how I ever got into this position I realized what an idiot I was writing down my name. I practically gave my life away. Although, I still really like the thought of serving my country even if that meant me dieing. Afterall, there's nothing I can do now. I wonder a lot if others feel or felt the same way as me. Frustrated and confused about this whole thing.I wonder what my parents think about ever since I left. Are they worried? Are they even upset i’m gone? I have so many unanswered questions. One thing I do know  is how this war started. Austria's President,ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand, was killed. I think whoever shot him was in some type of “Assassins” club I like to call it.I heard it took place when he was driving by in a open top car. I like to think that the guy who killed him was some wanna be. Someone with no life usually gets into trouble like him. I can't really say anything about him having no life I mean, before I came here all I  did was sit at home eating food my mother made and sitting on the couch, reading “Collier’s” magazines. I guess I don't have room to talk considering i'm similar to that guy. Not the killing  Innocent people part of course.I won't be like this forever. Hopefully anyway.

September 13th, month 2             Location:East side trenches

Here we are. Still in these muddy Trenches. The Germans haven't given up fighting us but they seem very quiet right now. I haven't been able to write in my journal as much lately. Captain says i need to be the first on the look out like the others. Just sitting up there is suicide. We’ve lost about 300 guys so far from that. I don’t want to be the next.

       I realize what I write in my tattered journal is pretty cowardly. On the other hand, it's completely, utterly true.  We made ladders the first day we settled here to prop up on the side of the trench walls. Captain says we should be up there, but me, along with others know it's a death wish to do so. I get up with my aching legs and trudge up the ladder. Listening to the Captain is important but I don't do it all the time. That's probably the reason he gets at me the most about everything.I take a look at the barren field in between the trenches. We like to call it “No man's Land” just because no one even steps foot on there unless you want to get blown to pieces. Barbed wire trails along all of our tunnels protecting us from those Germans. The dense air fills my lungs as I breath in and out. This is very nerve racking. I never thought i would have to be up here so vulnerable. I narrow my eyes as I try to look at across the field. No movement. That is usually not a good sign considering we are in the middle of a war and they are probably working on planning to kill us all with some nuclear bomb. The more I think about that the more I get nervous and shaky. Just as I was about to go down the ladder something catches the corner of my eye.In the distance, somebody was running towards our base holding something in their hand. I couldn't make out what it was just yet.It definitely isn't one of our guys because he is wearing a small pointed hat with a light brown belt wrapped around his thin waist. Typical German.Those people have always liked the thought of having “power”. The uniform choice really reflects that in my opinion.I mean, besides the “power” thing ,who wears a pointed helmet unless you plan on running at someone and killing them head first. You just never know with those people. What am I doing just sitting here! I get so caught up in observing and deep thinking in my mind I don't pay attention to what's happening around me. That moment stuck with me forever. I pulled out my gun. The world seemed to slow for an instant, just for me. Aiming at the running German, the gun jolted back and he suddenly fell to the ground.  I cursed to myself frantically as I checked for any possible wounds. That was that. The first person I have ever killed in my life. It didn't feel as bad as I thought it would be.  Adrenaline filled my body. Shaking, I stepped down the cracking ladder and fell to the ground. “Thomas!”
John ran over to me and so did a few of the other guys. “I’m alright”,
I just blacked out for a second. “I saw you shoot that German.”
Pretty weird feeling huh?”. John had an almost approving tone in his voice ,like he was proud of me or something. All of us here don't like the thought of killing another man, but when it comes to this kind of situation, you have no choice.

   November 4th, 1914.   Month 3                          Main trench base

Captain had called us into the main trench bases. This is the area where we first got dropped off at. The only thing that I can really say is different is the amount of food and stock we have. A lot of us fear of starving to death ,but I fear of dying from a German bullet. Possibly the worst kind of death tha…..

I stopped writing. Something didn't seem right. I could smell death fill my nose with an unpleasant stench. Things can change in an instant. Change can be hell or happiness. I looked around with my eyes moving side to side. I couldn't hear a thing. Bombs and bullets cancelled out my hearing. I could barely make out what everyone was saying. My palms became sweaty and I fell to my knees. The world became black. John yelled to me in the distance… “Thomas!, Thomas!”   

I awoke with a startled jump. “Thomas!”
wake the hell up!”
I finally realized where we were. The camp where we first got dropped off at. “Crap”
I said with a shaky breath. John always does this. He  Bothers me when I'm sleeping. Even though I was having a nightmare I still wanted to find out what was going to happen. Kind of like a risk without the risk of happening if that makes sense. It's just a dream. “Sorry I interrupted your little dream Thomas but Captain wants us to meet him in the east trenches.”
“What?”
Captain only meets with us when there is changes!”
  I don't mean the good kind!”
John realized this after a moment. His skin became pale and flushed. The sirens echoed in our heads making our ears ring. Tanks turned on with a roar and hum across every section of the base. Men flooded the grounds sliding down ladders and exiting the tarp covered rooms. Dishes and tables rattles as they ran past our tent. My nightmare was becoming a reality.