I tossed and turned in my bed uncomfortably. Somehow my bed felt empty with me just in it. A bed was meant to be shared. All I could hear is the rain and wind brushing against the window sill. I decided to call the boy I knew that could keep me company, Harry. I reached over to my nightstand; right next to my desk, fumbling with my phone I finally got a grasp of it. It took me four times for this boy to answer his phone.

“What’s up?” He says in his raspy tone.

“Do you mind staying over; it’s empty here without you.” I say with a smirk on my face, knowing he can’t see it.

“Aren’t your parents’ home?” He chuckles, knowing he’ll make me upset.

“Just shut up and get over here.” I said while a yawn escapes my mouth.

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” He says, as I hear crumbling noises coming from the other side of the line.

“I’m wearing shorts.” I giggle.

“Make it 5 minutes.” He hangs up the phone.

I lie back in my bed and fall asleep to the sound of my music playing on the radio. I keep remembering about the past and how it used to be, before I even met Harry. A lot of people tell us we’re different for each other, clearly knowing we never were or are a thing. They are right though, Harry is a dark and mysterious boy that keeps all these secrets away from me. Me, I’m just a regular old boy who likes to write down everything on my agenda. I always do wonder about that boy, he’s always on my mind and I wonder if I’m ever in his. I hear a tap on my window, which breaks me from my thoughts. I see Harry sitting on my window sill and I get up from bed and open the window to let him in.

“You know, it’s not nice to tease.” He smirks.

I put my arms around him and give him a peck on the lips. He begins to wrap his arms around my waist and he twirls me around to the beat of the music. This boy is amazing and one day I hope he’ll be mine.

“You know, I was glad when you called me to come over.” He smiles with a big grin.

I always loved his smile, especially his cheeky grin. He let go of my waist and picked me up off the floor and carried me to the bed. He tucked me in and turned on the TV, and headed downstairs. A few minutes later, he brought me spaghetti, tea, and ice cream. This boy always does things I never expect from him.

“Hey, I thought you were hungry so I made you dinner.” He smiles.

“I was, thanks for making me dinner.” I smile.

We watched TV for a couple of hours and ate the rest of the ice cream. He takes the dishes downstairs and comes back up and lays down in bed with me. He holds me really close to him and begins to whisper things in my ear. I can hardly make out the things coming from his mouth.

“What are you trying to say?” I say in confusion.

“Nothing, I’ll see you in the morning love. Goodnight.” He says, while holding me tighter than before.

“Goodnight.” I say as I rub my eyes.

He kisses the top of my forehead plenty of times before we begin to fall asleep. Throughout the night, it began to get chilly. I arose from the bed and headed to the closet to get a sweater for me. I found one of Harry’s that he left a couple of days ago. I decided to wear that one out of them all. I put it on and I can smell the scent of cigarettes and his favorite cologne. I headed to the bed and lay back in bed with Harry and he wrapped his arms around me and we both drifted off to sleep with the sounds of the wind and trees brushing on the window sill.

We weren’t officially going out at the time, though it did feel like it. We spent most of our time together. I hope he will end up asking me out, but I’m not quite sure if he will. I wish he did tell me what was going on most of the time.

The next morning, I woke up to myself laying in the bed alone. I guess Harry had already left. I didn’t sleep very well last night with all the deep thoughts going on in my mind, but I’m happy I got to sleep with Harry. I took a shower and picked out my outfit for the day. I decided to wear my white toms, a black cardigan, a muscle tank, and some shorts. I grabbed my black jansport and began to walk down the road to Chico State. I don’t live to far from where I go to school, though I do hate the walk there. Many people judge me for being gay; it makes me depressed for trying to fit in, though I’m not like many people here.

It was a typical Thursday. I sat in my regular seat, in the back row right next to this kid named Jeremy. I loved to write, so I decided to take English, but the teacher was a total creep. We had to take out our notebooks and write a paragraph about who we are.

“I am a boy who gets judged by who I am. I know I don’t fit in with the people here, but I don’t think I deserve to be treated this way.” I began to cry a bit, but not too much for people to see. I kept writing down things but I didn’t really want to let people know about me, I’m not those people whose “athletic” or “popular” which most kids want to be.

By the time I finished writing down who I am, the class was over. I began to start walking to the café across from campus, where most people go after class. Right as I leave the building where my class was, my phone begins to ring in my pocket. I check the caller ID and its Harry. I wonder what he wants to say to me because he hardly calls me.

“Hey Louis.” He says cheerfully.

“Hey.” I say.

“Are you busy at the moment?” He says nervously.

“No did you want me to meet you somewhere?” I ask.

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to ask you something.” He says quickly.

“Ok, so where do you want me to meet you? “I say nervously.

“Meet me at the café off campus.” He says.

“I’ll be there in a bit.” I say as I hang up the phone.

As I walk to the café, I have thoughts running throughout my mind. “I wonder what he’s going to say.” “Is it something bad or something good.” Just as I begin to refocus, I’m already in front of the café. I enter the café to Harry sitting in the booth eating pie. I walk toward Harry and sit on the opposite side of him.

“So what did you want to tell me?” I say a bit harsh.

“I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go out with me.” He scratches the back of his neck while waiting for my answer.

“Of course I’ll go out with you.” I wink.

He gets up from his seat and heads to my side of the table, grabs my hand, wraps his arms around my waist, and walks me out of the café.

“So babe, what do you want to do today?”

“Nothing, I just want to go home and rest.” I grin.

“Ok.”
He smirks.



When I finished cleaning the house, I told him I’ll walk him home. We began to walk to Harry’s house so I can drop him off. Harry lives around the corner from my house, so it’s not that far. The whole walk there was quiet. I began to be in my own thoughts.

“Babe?” He says a little too loud.


“Yeah?” I say calmly.

“Can we go down to the park, they’re having a band play there tonight and I want to make it up to you.” He smirks.

“Oh really? Who’s playing there?” I wink.

“White Eskimo.” He practically yells.

“Babe, you don’t have to yell.” I giggle.

“Well. I’m sorry but I really like this band.” He laughs.

We begin to walk down to the park. It’s not that bad of a park besides the people that go there. There’s different type of people that go to that park. There are the nerds, the jocks, the dark and mysterious ones, and then there are the rich kids. The park mostly fills with drunken people and the people that are always high.

“We’re here.” He says happily.

He grabs ahold of my hand and walks me down to the table closest to the stage, where the band will be playing. We listen to almost all of the songs that the band has to sing, but Harry is already too drunk to walk so I have to walk him home.

I begin to walk Harry home and he’s completely drunk and unconscious. It took me about 30 minutes to walk him home. I think Harry is cute when he’s drunk. Surprisingly, I thought Harry was the mean and grouchy drunk people. By the time I snap out of my thoughts I already entered Harry’s bedroom. I layed him down on his bed and tucked him in. I kissed his forehead goodnight, and left 2 tablets of aspirin and water on his nightstand for when he wakes up. I began to walk to my house, so I can get some sleep. Today was just not my day. By the time I got to my house it was all dark. I guess my parents aren’t home yet. I went into the kitchen and got something to eat. I decided to make a sandwich and get some juice. I headed to the living room to watch some TV and eat my food.

When I finished my food, I was too lazy to take it to the kitchen sink. I began to drift off to sleep, to the sounds of the voices of people on the TV.

It was 12 o’clock in the morning and it was sunny outside. I was too tired to go get something to eat. I heard the phone start ringing in the other room, but I didn’t want to go answer it. It rang about 10 times, so I decided to go answer it. I answered the phone to Harry.

“Why didn’t you answer?!?!??!!?” he says angrily.

“Calm down, I was just too lazy to come and answer the phone.” I say terrified.

“I was worried sick!” he said.

“Well what do you want?” I say without exaggeration.

“I need to see you, come over right now.” He says and hangs up the phone.

Without a doubt of my mind I begin to walk to Harry’s house because I don’t know what he’ll do if I don’t go. When I arrived to the house Harry was already outside waiting for me. He walked over to me and got ahold of my hand and dragged me towards his room. He sat me on his bed and walked back and forth across his room.

“Harry is everything ok?” I say worried.

He begins to pace back and forth a lot faster as if something miserable had happened. There was guilt and worry in his eyes. I begin to see tears streaming down his face. He walks over to me and sits right in front of me, crying even harder than before.


“Babe.” He can’t even talk.

“Is everything ok?” I say.

“My parents want to meet you.” He says harshly.

“What’s wrong with that?” I say.

“They don’t know I’m gay.” He says sadly.

I don’t say anything but stand there. He stares at me and watches my every movement. He’s probably going to never tell his parents that he’s gay.

“Babe, they want to meet you tonight and have dinner.” He gulps.

“Tell me why you’re so nervous about telling them you’re gay?” I ask nervously.

“It’s not that. I told them you were a girl.” He chokes.

“Why would you say that?” I yell.

I don’t know what to think about this boy anymore. He’s either drunk or rude but this, this is out of control. I can’t believe he lied to me.

“My dad doesn’t like gay people, I’m sorry.” He cries in his arms.

“You’re supposed to be proud of whom you are and not worry about what people say about you.” I tear up a bit.

“Well go get ready and I’ll wait for you.” He says as he grabs his pants from the floor.

I head to his shower and grab some towels from the cabinet. I turn the water on and jump in the shower. I finish showering and by the time I get dressed, and head to his bedroom he’s already dressed. He’s wearing dress up pants and a white V-neck. He sees me walk out the bathroom and heads towards me. He grabs my hand and leads me to the car. He sat me in the passenger seat and closed the door. He walked around the car and sat in his seat. He turned on the car and drove us to his parents. I’m scared to think what his dad’s reaction is going to be. By the time I came back to realization, we had already arrived to his parents’ house. We parked in their driveway, right next to his dad’s pickup truck.

We walked towards the door, and Harry let go of my hand. By the time we got up to the door, the door swung open. Harry’s father was standing in the door way, taking out his pack of cigarettes. He took out one of his cigarettes and lit it up. He began to take a puff of it, the smoke from cigarettes disgust me.

“Who’s this?” His father says in disgust.

“This is Louis” He says terrified.

“Where’s your girlfriend?” He looks at me.

“Dad, Louis is my boyfriend.” Harry says.

“I will not let my son be a gay person!” he yells.

“I don’t care what you think dad, I will date Louis and you know what?” He screams.

“What?” He says harshly.

“I’m going to marry Louis.” He says cheerfully.

“Get out. “His father says.

“No.” Harry states.

“I don’t want my son to be a gay, and if you won’t listen you must leave my house immediately.” His father’s anger rises.

Harry grabs ahold of his father’s collar and throws him against the wall and whispers something inside of his ear. It was so quiet I can’t make out the words coming out of his mouth. He grabs the car keys from his pocket and walks angrily to the car. He doesn’t even try to talk to me; I walk to the other side of the car and jump in the passenger seat. The whole ride was quiet; I didn’t even know where we were going. There was a mumble here and there; he ended up pulling up in a restaurant parking lot.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and walked us inside the restaurant. He chooses the table in the way back. He seats us in the table and calls a waiter over to our table. I still don’t know what he’s doing. He whispers inside the waiter’s ear and I can’t make out what he’s saying. The waiter leaves and Harry just starts picking at his nails, he looks terrified.

The waiter comes back with a box of chocolate covered strawberries. Harry begins to get on his knees and pull out a box from his pocket. I get up from my seat with no expression on my face.

“Louis, will you marry me? He looks into my eyes with fondness.

“Yes, of course I will. Now kiss me you fool.” I cry.

I run up to him and put my arms around him. I kiss him on the lips and don’t let go. He picks me up from the ground and I wrap my legs around his waist. He puts me back down and let’s goes of the kiss. He grabs my hand and puts a ring on my finger.

All those years in my eyes seemed just like days but I remembered them like it was yesterday. I could relive that moment in time forever. I feel all this guilt and shame come to mind as I begin to fade away from life. I die knowing that he’ll be by my side.

“Harry.” I lose my breath.

“Yes Louis?” he gulps.

“I love you.” I take my last breath of air.

“Louis?!?!?!!!?” Harry cries and begins to hold me.

“Mr. Styles, I’m sorry Louis has passed. I’ll give you some time.” The doctor says.

I began to realize, it was all just a dream.