Chapter 11

    Anya popped an Advil in her mouth and chased it down with an entire glass of cold water. All the crying she'd done in the past 8 hours had only left her with a pounding headache and a horribly empty feeling in her chest. She sprawled lazily across the black leathered couch in the den with her tablet computer on her lap, her Blackberry resting on her stomach and her iPhone within reach in case one of the boys called for her. It was already around 10 pm and Anya was pecking away at her keyboard, still in the midst of scheduling the signing and photoshoot they had in place for tomorrow, and the radio interview in the next few days. A buzz errupted from her iPhone and a message alert from Zayn Malik popped up on her screen: "U sure u dont need anything?"
    Anya just stared at the screen. Harry, Zayn, and Liam had been keeping tabs on her all day. But not Louis, which scared Anya to death. He promised nothing would change, but what if he'd thought things through and changed his mind? Or maybe Anya was just psyching herself out.
    Shaking her head to clear the bad thoughts, Anya picked up her phone to reply to Zayn. "Need anything" was so vague. Of course she needed things- she needed food, since management had only stocked the place with bagels and coffee beans since the apartment had been rented out. She needed to be back living with her best friends- the emptiness of this flat just reminded her of all the wrong she'd done. Most important of all she needed Niall- she wanted more than anything to hear his warm laughter, feel his fingers wrapped protectively around hers, and see him smile sweetly down at her. Simply enough, she needed everything to go back to the way it was. But instead of putting all that into words, Anya dishonestly sent "I dont need anything".
    As Anya tapped the Send button, a knock on the front door echoed through the apartment. Anya got up to get the door, and the thought flashed through her mind that maybe it was Niall, which made her heart leap.
    Harry stood on the other side of the door, clutching a brown grocery bag in his right arm, and a small sympathetic smile stretched on his lips. "Hey."
    Anya smiled half-heartedly and opened the door wider for him. Harry stepped inside and glanced around while he placed the bag on the kitchen counter and started unloading its contents. Anya watched from the couch.
    "This place looks, like, exactly the same as the one downstairs." Harry placed a strawberry malt from Milkshake City on the counter.
    "Yeah, pretty much," Anya replied, waiting for what else he might take out of the bag. She felt like she hadn't eaten in days. "You cooked?"
    Harry was holding a plastic tupperware container holding pasta and red sauce. He pulled open the container and chuckled, "Hell no. Liam did, I just brought you some leftovers." Harry pulled two forks from the drawer under the sink and joined Anya on the couch, bringing her malt along too.
    "So, you've got nothing here? Not even food?"
    Anya shook her head taking a forkful of pasta to her mouth.
    "Aaaand what about everything else you have downstairs? Like, ya know, clothing?"
    Anya dug her fork aimlessly around through the noodles and shrugged. "...Where's everyone right now?"
    "At home." He mumbled through a full mouth. He said it like it was obvious, which, Anya realized, it kind of was, considering it was almost 10:30 at night.
    "Do you think maybe you could-"
    Harry waved his hand, cutting her off. "Oh, no, no, no. I'm not getting your stuff for you- you can make eye contact with your own friggin' boyfriend."
    Anya dropped her fork into the pasta that Harry had already eaten half of and looked down at her fingers. "I don't know if he's my boyfriend anymore..." It sounded more like a pathetic whimper than a simple statement of uncertainty. When she looked back up at Harry his smooth leafy-green eyes were piercing hard into hers.
    "How do you know?"
    "That's exactly it-I don't. I'm sure he doesn't want to talk to me."
    Harry shook his head. "I really, really doubt that. I bet Niall wants to talk to you as much as you want to talk to him. He wants to fix this, and I know you know that. He loves you, Anya, he doesn't want to lose you."
    Anya swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't want to lose him either... But I don't think we're in a place to talk about us right now."
    Harry rubbed the back of Anya's hair. "You'll get there though."
    Anya's jaw quivered and tears clouded her vision, as she leaned over to Harry. She wrapped her arms around him, burying her face and muffling her raspy tear-filled breathing into his neck. The subtle scent of his cologne mixed with his own personal aroma was so calming and felt so familiar to her, and it was just what Anya needed. Harry closed his arms securely behind her back, and nestled his own face in her hair, shushing her softly in her ear. This was the first time in the past few days where she'd let herself accept Harry's comforting embrace. She'd wanted to act strong and collected and try to fend for herself through this but it was by no means working. She was torn apart inside and what she really needed was to let herself down for someone, and, next to Niall, Harry was the best she could ever ask for.
    Harry breathed out quietly, sending a wind-like whoosh through her ear, and whispered reassuringly, "Everything will be okay."

    Harry led the way into the boys' flat, and Anya followed closely behind, using Harry almost like a shield. The front rooms were empty and the only light coming into the den and kitchen was from a single overhead light above the stove and from a few of the bedrooms. Anya hesitated before moving past the kitchen and Harry turned around before going into his own room.
    "Bon, chill, you lived here."
    She nodded, "I know. Go, I'm good."
    Harry waved her goodnight and disappeared into his bedroom. At that moment, Louis emerged from his bathroom and entered the kitchen, making Anya nervous. "Hey," Anya blurted.
    Louis smiled at her as he opened the fridge. "Hey, Bon, how're things upstairs?"
    She didn't want to say "awful" or "terrible" so she just shrugged and gestured to her old room. "Just grabbin' some stuff."
    "I see," Louis poured a glass of milk for himself and threw it in the microwave. He stared at the glass spinning and warming up for a few seconds before he turned back to Anya. "Look, I'd been meaning to text you earlier to see if you were okay. I wasn't avoiding you."
    "I-I didn't think you were," Anya lied. A tiny part of her always believed that but it made her feel loads better to hear him say it.
    "I was talking to Niall," Louis said, a bit quieter than he'd been speaking before.
    Anya moved closer to him. "Yeah?"
    "Yeah." He nodded looking kind of shameful. "He doesn't fancy me very much at the moment. I mean, he says things are cool between us but I can tell he's pretty tense toward me."
    "Lou, I'm so sorry-"
    "Bon, it's fine, me and him are fine, I can understand it. I'd be a little pissed at me, too, if I were him. It'll pass, it's fine."
    Anya found it in her to give Louis a small smile. "Okay." She started toward the bedroom. "I've gotta get my stuff but I'll talk to ya later, Lou."
    "G'night," he replied.
    Anya could feel her heart pounding in her ears as she approached Niall's room. The door was open so she walked right in a few paces and almost stopped breathing when she saw him. Niall was packing fresh laundry into his dresser drawers wearing his old blue basketball shorts and a tight white undershirt. He looked pretty dazed so it took him a few seconds to notice Anya, but when he did, she swore she saw him perk up. "Hi," he said.
    "Hi," she replied, shyly. "Um, I'm just here to get a few things."
    Niall scratched his head. "Yeah. Okay, yeah."
    Anya gathered a few tops and jeans into a gymbag she kept under her side of the bed and threw her toiletries in too. "I'll come back some other time to get the rest of my stuff." Anya turned to leave.
    "Anya," Niall said to stop her.
    Anya's heart leapt in her chest and she turned back around. He was standing with his mouth gaped open a little, his mind searching for his next words.
    "I don't... I don't want to act like nothing happened, but- but I don't want to act like enemies either, like we're nobody to each other. I don't ever want to be your enemy. Or your... Or your nobody." Niall spoke shyly but never took his eyes off of Anya's. It was that sweet sincerity that took everything in Anya not to throw her bag on the floor and stay here for good, and she didn't doubt that he might be feeling the same way.
    "Agreed. I'll see you guys tomorrow morning," Anya replied with an attempt of a smile and closed the door behind her.

    Anya watched the water flow calmly below them. She sat on the trunk next to Niall with her arms wrapped around his waist and his embracing her shoulders. Anya rested her head against Niall's chest, listening intently to every beat of his heart. His hearty laugh filled the silent air, exploding into the ear she had pressed against him. The content warmth that pulsed through her was almost unbearable, but the best feeling she could imagine. Anya counted his heartbeats. They became faster and louder, like rough beating, until the felt like it was going to rupture her skull-
    Anya shot up in bed, suddenly frightened. Looking at her phone, she noticed it was almost 2 in the morning and a fist was pounding on the front door. Anya's mind frantically raced from one extreme situation to another as she briskly made her way to the door. She pictured a police officer or a murderer at the door, or something had happened to one of the boys-what if it was Niall...
    With shaky hands and trembling knees, Anya pulled the door open and struggled to make out the dark figure in front of her.
    A familiar girl stood in the dimly lit hallway, her dark wavy hair in a wild mess from the cold wind. She was wrapped in a white peacoat and carried a small bag of luggage. When Anya's eyes adjusted, her jaw dropped. "Kelley?!"