Chapter 9


The loud hammering thud of Anya's heartbeat was all she could hear pounding in her eardrums. It was official- the worst had happened. She knew all h*ll would break loose the moment Louis opened that text. Anya started to feel sick to her stomach, hopeless.

She had to get to Louis' phone before anyone else did.

Creeping through the dark hall, Anya poked her head through the first three bedrooms- Zayn was huddled under a pile of blankets, the only part of him visible being the small black tufts of hair peeking out from under the pillowy
heap and there wasn't a sound coming from Louis' room. The lights turned off in the next room and Anya heard Niall rustling the sheets and climbing into bed.
Across the hall, Liam was passed out facedown still fully clothed next to three empty waterbottles. Harry's bathroom light was lit and Anya decided she'd ask his help if worse came to worst.

Anya spun around and headed for the front room. She scampered through the kitchen-even digging amongst leftover takeout containers in the fridge- for any
sign of Louis' phone. In a rampid sprint to the den, Anya slipped and caught herself on the silverware drawer, causing a loud rattle of forks and knives within. She immidiately froze and listened intently for any sign of movement.
The only audible sounds were the low hum of the furnace and Liam's faint deep snores.

After recovering herself, Anya tiptoed to the couch and started tearing through the cushions as quietly as she possibly could.

"What the h*ll do you think you're doing?" Harry stood at the hall doorway with his baggy sweats hanging low on his waist, his eyes squinted sleepily and he gripped a tube of toothpaste in his hand.

Anya slammed a pillow down on the couch and sighed in frustration. "I sent a very bad message to Louis, Harry, it was supposed to go to you but it went to him instead!" she whispered.

Harry contorted his face into a concerned expression. "So you, like, mentioned your feelings for him and stuff?"

"Yes," Anya replied, shoving her head under the couch and running her hand across the rug in hopes of snatching an iPhone along the way.

Harry scratched the back of his head and sighed. "Well, still, what are you doing?!"

"His phone's still missing, isn't it?!"

"He hasn't found it if that's what you mean. Look, Bon, you're not gunna get anything accomplished this late and if you're in this bonkered state of
mind..."

Anya lifted her head from under the coffeetable. "Then how about you help me," she pleaded quietly.

"How about you just get some sleep? Seriously, you can figure it out in the morning-I'll help then, but it's been a long day for all of us."

"...Fine," Anya stood up from dragged her feet lazily to her room behind Harry who waddled into his own bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Anya climbed into bed next to Niall who didn't shift an inch, obviously asleep. Thoughts swarmed her mind. Anya's entire world could crumble apart with that message. It could easily destroy the friendship between her and Louis, which would cause tension between her and the rest of the boys too.

Turning on her side, Anya rested her gaze on the boy beside her. The thought of losing him squeezed painfully at her heart. Niall was- for lack of a better word- her everything. She forced her eyes shut and huddled close to him, feeling warmer on the outside and inside, and eventually drifted off to sleep.


The next morning, Anya rolled over to an empty bed. From the amount of light peeking in through the curtains, it was obvious that the sun was pretty high in the sky. The red block digits on Niall's alarm clock read 10:08. Anya practically hurled herself out of bed- she almost never sleeps in this late. Suddenly, it was like a ball dropped in the pit of her stomach. She remembered
her unfinished feat from last night and hoped Louis hadn't restarted his search yet.

Anya threw on an old One Direction merchandise hoodie and walked swiftly to the front rooms. She stopped dead in her tracks at the end of the hall when she saw Louis lounging on the couch in a striped tee and sweats, munching on crisp toast and gazing at the tele. "Mornin'!"

Anya's heart started to pound fast. "Hi. Um, where's everyone?"

"Zayn, Haz, and Niall went to get somethin' to eat. I decided to stay so you wouldn't exactly wake up alone. Or Liam-" he jerked his chin to the bedrooms. "-who's still sleepin'."

"Alrighty." Anya struggled to steady her breathing and searched the room with her eyes. It didn't appear to be torn apart or inspected in attempts of finding a lost phone, but that still didn't mean it hadn't been found. She
wandered to the kitchen counter behind where Louis sat, keeping her eyes peeled. "S-so, Lou, is y-your, uh, phone still missin'?"

"Since you asked," Louis began, and Anya held her breath. She shouldn't have mentioned it. "I was waiting for someone to get up-could you call it?" He
stood up from the couch and clapped the crumbs off his hands.

Hesitantly, Anya pulled her phone from the front pocket of her hoodie. From the corner of her eye, she could see Louis patiently watching her as she scrolled through her contacts. Anya went back and forth in her head, debating whether she should actually ring his number or just pretend to. Cautiously, she tapped Louis' name.

Anya's heart continued to beat even harder in her chest while she watched Louis' face and looked for any sign that he could hear his ringtone going off. Not a sound erupted in the silent air and Louis shook his head. "I'm gunna search my room again. D*mn..." He left the room and Anya hustled into the den and panned
through the furniture quickly one last time. Nothing.

"Bon!"

Anya quickly jumped up and landed herself on the couch, steadying her nervous shakes. When she saw Louis stroll into the den her heart nearly stopped. He was staring down at his phone. He laughed a bit. "Holy s***, I have, like, 6 new messages... Oh sorry, one's from you-"

Anya lunged up from the couch toward him. "Louis, wait, can I see that, please?"

Louis pulled away from her with a smirk on his face. "What? Why?"

Anya was panicking. "No, really, Lou, I wasn't supposed to send you that-"

Louis teasingly jerked his phone out of her reach. "Ohh I see. You sending sexy messages to Niall or somethin'?" He laughed and ran to the opposite side of
the room, opening the text.

"No, no, no!" Anya chased him and grabbed him by the arm. Suddenly, she felt Louis' muscles tense under her grip. His face was frozen in a state of shock and confusion. There was no way he couldn't hear Anya's loud thudding
heartbeat now.

Anya kept her grip on Louis' arm, but loosened it, and placed her other hand on his shoulder, trying to read his expression. "Lou... It's- I don't want you to think- I- I was..." she sighed, giving up.

Louis didn't turn to face her. "So you... liked me? Or?... I don't... I don't understand," He sounded extremely baffled and looked down at her. His eyes were begging for some kind of explanation, for her to clear up all the questions that swarmed through his brain. And Anya knew she probably didn't have the answers to any of them.

She sighed again. "When I was staying with you, I guess some feelings started to stir up- but you really don't have to worry about it anymore, it was just a little phase. I think it was because I'd never really-"

Louis waved his hand and cut her off. "Bon, it's okay, you don't have to make excuses or explain yourself or anything-"

Anya could feel her world crashing down like an unstable building- tile by tile plummeting to the earth. She started pacing. "I just can't handle the fact that you or anyone else could look at me differently, and this whole thing could so easily blow out of proportion if certain people found out and..." She trailed off at a loss for words, thinking of the worst possible scenarios.

Louis knew when she said "anyone else" and "certain people" she was referring to Niall. "I understand and others can understand, too. It happens."
He enunciated both the words slowly and firmly.

Anya stopped her pacing, feeling less and less of her world becoming a crumbly mess. Louis glanced back at the text. "But... What do you mean about the steps you and Niall take in your relationship? And how they're your business and unrelated?..."

Anya's face flushed as Louis' clicked in understanding. She opened her mouth to speak but quickly shut it. It was better not to open another can of worms, but he had an idea anyway.

"You two-? You guys- you- oh. When..." He glanced back down. "Wait... Bon, who was this supposed to go to?"

She barely opened her mouth to answer. "Harry."

"So, he knew?"

"Well, he saw I wasn't wearing my ring anymore. I didn't WANT to tell-"

"No, that's not what I'm talking about," he interupted. "He knew you liked
me?"

Anya was silent for a moment. "Yeah-"

"Why didn't you just tell me then?"

She slapped her hands at her side in exasperation. "Tell you?!"

"What if I could have... helped you somehow?" he suggested.

"I obviously wanted to keep it as down low as possible. Because I didn't want it to get this far!" Anya dropped herself onto the couch. She felt like
crying.

Louis sat down beside her with his arms rested on his knees. "It really isn't a big deal. Like I said, it happens. So you had a little crush?-Maybe you didn't! It may be a little out of line since you're in a relationship but it's understandable."

Anya swallowed hard and took a dangerous leap. "Harry thinks I slept with Niall because I felt guilty about liking you." As soon as it left her lips, she regretted saying it.

Louis looked taken aback, opened his mouth to reply, but shut it again. Finally he responded. "Well, that might complicate things."

Anya threw her head back. "But that's not the case, and that's why I don't want Niall to find out because he might believe that!"

Louis sighed. He looked Anya straight in the eye, like he was plunging straight into her soul. "Maybe you're not giving him the credit he deserves."

A sudden overwhelming wave of emotion came over Anya. Her throat felt tight and tears burned in her eyes, making Louis' face appear blurry. "I love him so much," she choked out quietly before tears fell down her face and onto her lap.

Louis nodded and pulled her head close to his chest. Anya couldn't help but cry now, all the frustration and anxiety that had built up in these past few
days was pooling out uncontrollably. A small part of her was even a little relieved.

"Is everything okay?" Liam had emerged from his room looking extremely confused. He headed toward the two on the couch. "What did I miss? What's wrong?"

Anya sat upright and swept the tears from her eyes with the palm of her hand and cleared her throat, "Nothing, I'm fine. How are you feeling?"

Liam rubbed the back of his head and then his temples. "Throbbing. Hellfully painful. In other words, just dandy," he added sarcastically.

"Drink some water. I'll make you somethin' to eat," Louis said, rising from the couch and leading Liam into the kitchen.

The front door swung open and Harry, Niall, and Zayn hopped inside carrying leftover crepes in a carryout box. "Hey!" Niall shouted out. Harry peered over
with a meaningful glance at Anya, who avoided eye contact with him. She didn't want to have to explain everything to him right now.

Niall sat down next to Anya on the couch and pecked her on the cheek with a smile. "D'you want some of my crepes? I didn't finish 'em 'cause I thought you
might like some," he said.

"Thanks, but no thanks, Bud, I think I just want some coffee," Anya replied with a smile back and got up from her seat.

When Anya crossed into the kitchen, Louis and Liam were leaned up against the counter near the fridge. They were whispering quietly back and forth and
immediately ceased when they noticed her entrance.

Anya swallowed hard and spoke through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry, did I interrupt?"

Liam crossed the kitchen over to her. "It's my fault, I wanted to know, I begged Louis to tell me what was going on between you guys before I woke up-"

Anya exploded, "It isn't a big deal!!-"

"I know! I know! I was just curious! Louis assured me how it's all okay and spent plenty of time explaining why-"

That same wall of emotion hit Anya again and she burst into hysteric argument. "Did he?! He said everything was okay? Because I honestly don't think that could possibly be the case if he had to tell you- how could I have had
random feelings for Louis in the midst of a perfectly good relationship?!-"

Louis interupted from the corner loudly. "Niall-"

"Yeah, and then I go and sleep with Niall while I'm still recovering from these feelings! Does that sound okay to you, Liam?!"

Liam hung his head low and Louis had turned around awkwardly. Behind Anya the sound of a styrofoam box being dropped on the marble countertop erupted the
post-silence of her outburst. It was only then that Anya realized how loud she had just been and she spun around.

Niall stood at the threshold of the kitchen entrance. His face was stark white, a look of disbelief and betrayal washing out the gleeful expression his
features always hold. The magnificence of his piercing blue eyes had vanished, making them look gray and hurt. His appearance sliced at Anya's heart like a
dagger. She wanted to take back every word she'd just said and cradle his broken-hearted face in her arms.

Anya's throat tightened shut. It was like in a nightmare when she can't scream for help no matter how hard she tries. Her voice barely came out in a
whisper, "Niall, it's not what it sounds like..."

He shook his head, eyes gleaming with tears that rested on his eyelids. "That's what they always say."

Not only did Anya's whole world come crashing down, but it turned around and walked out of the kitchen and out the front door.