5th Twilight:Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) chapter 1 | Teen Ink

5th Twilight:Glistening Sin (Renesmee's Story) chapter 1

October 25, 2009
By dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments

Chapter 1


A blur of memories sweeped through my mind as clear as crystal, like I was there at this very moment. Daddy's glistening grin when I went on my first hunt, mommy's first time she layed her chocolate human eyes on me. I could taste her smell on my tongue. It lingered so long I already felt like I was indulging her. I could feel her heart beat. She stared at me contently oblivious to what I was feeling. I needed this person, but why did I want her for that other reason too?
I could feel a want for something else. But why? I wanted nothing more than her to be with me and I had it. But it was that burn in my throat was like a fire like a blue flame, the hottest of them all that drew me in closer to her irresistible scent. I could not resist, I latched onto her neck and heard a faint cry, I had hurt her. My one, my only. I  snapped back feeling horrendous of my behavior. I then felt something cool grasping me away, as cool as ice. My father, my other only. He did not look happy with me either. This dream had turned into a slow, but sudden nightmare. Nightmare, the word sent a spark up my whole body.            

That word only belonged to the person who frightened me the most. No not person but people. The volturi. The cruel twisted people who believe they are some type of heroes. But to be a hero you have to listen. They only gave a minute for my family to explain who I was. I could feel my teeth clench together with the force of a great white shark. Aro, with his jet black shoulder length hair. Caius, with his concrete grimace indented into his porcelain skin. Jane with her tormenting gift of pain. It was my family that they were going to calmly kill. It was my Jacob and his pack. Emmett, Jasper, Rose, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Mommy and Daddy. They wanted to slaughter them and it was all because of me.

I wish I could have been born with the gift of destroying. Destroying everything in my path as if it all were toothpicks. Just toothpicks. Aro, Caius, and Jane, utensils that you pick your teeth with. I could get used to that. But I'm not I am only a half dead person that touches people to tell them what I did for the day. Couldn't I just talk to them?

So, I call myself the glistening sin that plopped into a family of perfect proportion. They are one species, one mind set. I am two species, predator and prey jammed in one body. Yet everyone calls me a miracle. I just think I am an addicting burden no one seems to be able to let go of.  In my year of living, I have already put every one I love in danger. No not danger, into a death sentence. Wait, I guess I am a miracle, in making world records.

The author's comments:
twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn

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This article has 33 comments.

on May. 31 2010 at 7:35 pm
NeverFallTooHard PLATINUM, Hartford, Wisconsin
24 articles 5 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.~ Rumi
Realisim, in painting, is what one wants to see, not what they really see. ~ Janet Fish

Ah-mazing! You have inspired me to do one of these myself- but from another child's POV. THANK YOU LOTS!!!!

on May. 13 2010 at 9:31 am
BloodyMary PLATINUM, N/A, Other
22 articles 8 photos 70 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is like a box of chocolates; You never know what you are gonna get.

You write like  a professional/best-selling author. You're a wonderful writer. I'm going to read more!

AfroSamurai said...
on May. 1 2010 at 3:43 am
As an avid reader of FanFiction, occasionally in the Twilight category, I have to say you have a LOT of potential and talent here. I WOULD like to point out that if you aspire to become better in FanFiction, I'd lengthen the chapters some, if possible, because this is seeming more like a One-Shot than an actual FanFic. Other than that, I love it. You're very decriptive with her POV, and I love the way you played it off. Many have tried something similar, but I've NEVER seen someone accomplish it as you have. :) You truly deserve the 5 star rating.

on Mar. 13 2010 at 6:07 pm
Drama_Queen13 DIAMOND, Nantucket, Massachusetts
51 articles 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Live Life Like A Song."

BEAUTIFUL! You have a serious talent

on Feb. 20 2010 at 4:52 pm
StonerChick SILVER, Frankenmuth, Michigan
5 articles 1 photo 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Its a dog eat dog world and we're all wearing bacon undearwear

WOW...will the whole thing be in her perspective? but shouldnt it be titled something having to do with the sun's cycle? all the other ones are...like "Havest Moon" or something

on Feb. 15 2010 at 10:39 am
GreenEyedGirl15 BRONZE, Derby, Kansas
4 articles 0 photos 95 comments
That was a very good perspective from Renesmee. I loved the voice and how it took a whole year of her life, and put it into a few short paragraphs. I can't wait to read the other chapters.

on Jan. 9 2010 at 6:54 pm
Angely Diaz BRONZE, San Pedro Sula, Other
1 article 0 photos 6 comments
omg! this was so good! i'm waiting for chapter 4... keep the writing going XD

SillyMonkey7 said...
on Jan. 8 2010 at 10:42 pm
Wow that was really good..loved it! Im gonna continue reading haha...keep up the good work!

dkA.M SILVER said...
on Dec. 9 2009 at 4:50 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments
haha ok well whats the title of it because i don't see it when I click on more by this author

on Dec. 7 2009 at 8:04 pm
Amer-Nae PLATINUM, Maynard, Arkansas
29 articles 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
Why try to fit in when you were born to stand out?

This is really good. And thanks for the comment on mine I wrote a begining check it out when you have time!


dkA.M SILVER said...
on Nov. 29 2009 at 3:01 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments
thank you so much for reading =) just submitted third chapter hope you enjoy that one two ;)

on Nov. 26 2009 at 7:13 pm
BeckoningLovely GOLD, Wilmington, Delaware
15 articles 1 photo 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think our favorite quotes say more about us than the people we are quoting," John Green

Oh my goodness. that was amazing! Really really good!

dkA.M SILVER said...
on Nov. 26 2009 at 6:18 pm
dkA.M SILVER, Vail, Arizona
8 articles 0 photos 87 comments
Please! Please! Please! Comment :) I need all of the feed back I can get Positive or negative