Can You Hear Me? | Teen Ink

Can You Hear Me? MAG

March 16, 2009
By Tabitha-Mariah BRONZE, Ossipee, New Hampshire
Tabitha-Mariah BRONZE, Ossipee, New Hampshire
2 articles 3 photos 10 comments

The crowded hallway was swarming with voices, all uniting into one loud hum. Entangled in the roar was the sound of lockers opening and closing and, every once in a while, a teacher yelling over the clamor. I was standing in front of my locker, taking another look at my new schedule for the second semester. I have a bad memory for schedules. The lighting wasn't nearly bright enough. I strained to see the words, my own shadow blocking most of the light.

Is she just going to stand there all day? An irritated voice rang through my head. I looked over my shoulder. Ashley Garland was standing behind me, eyes glowering behind mascara-coated lashes, recently glossed lips parted slightly in an impatient scowl. She was waiting to get into the locker next to mine. I knew she hadn't spoken out loud, but I had heard her nonetheless. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I closed my locker and stepped out of her way.

With an exaggerated sigh, she slipped past me. Finally, her voice murmured in my head.

It started a year ago, this whole “hearing what other people think about me” thing. At first it was interesting, being able to see behind each fake smile and insincere “How are you?” But soon it got depressing. I had always known that people could be cruel, but I had no idea they were a thousand times worse in their heads. Why hold back if you don't think anyone will find out?

I'm not a mind reader. I don't know anybody's deep, dark secrets. I can't go looking through people's memories. I only hear what others think when it's about me. And, trust me, knowing how people really see you – well, it hurts.

I walked to homeroom with my head down, hoping no one would notice me as I slid into an empty chair. No such luck.

Shy girl should do something with her hair. I recognized Jessica Lander's voice.

You should burn that jacket, fatty. That had to be Faith Palmer. Hobos dress better than you.

I tried to block out the voices. I told myself over and over – as I had many times before – that it was just human nature, an automatic response; everyone does it. It didn't help.

Why'd she have to sit here? I looked to my right. This voice was coming from the guy at the desk next to mine: Josh Taylor. My eyes caught his. He looked away. She's so awkward.

Think of something else, I told myself. Don't let them get to you. They don't know you can hear them.

Anna looks like she's going to cry, I heard Matt Hammond scoff to himself. That'd be hilarious.

I slid down as far as I could in my chair and let my hair fall over my face. I wouldn't let them have the pleasure of seeing me fight back the hot flood threatening to fall from my eyes. No, I wouldn't give them that.

By the time lunch rolled around, I had no appetite. I ignored the long line of chattering students and discreetly took a seat at a table in the back. I pulled out some homework but was too stressed to focus. I decided to study the ceiling instead. The squares of fluorescent lights made a checkerboard; I hadn't noticed that before. The lights had a greenish tint and the longer you stared at them, the darker the room appeared. I was beginning to feel disoriented by the time the line to the kitchen was nearly gone. Tables were filling up and the noise around me grew louder.

I knew someone would notice me eventually. In the middle of the room a girl was looking for a place to sit, her head whipping around like a nervous bird. She glanced at my empty table, her eyes locking with mine. Apparently I was more intimidating than I realized. Not with her, she thought and somehow slid onto an already full bench.

I looked down at my table and ran my finger over its surface, tracing the fake wood grain.

Looks like someone's on a diet. Anorexic much? Faith Palmer again. What did she have against me? I watched out of the corner of my eyes as she nudged the girl next to her and signaled in my ­direction with a giggle. My hands balled into fists. I didn't want to deal with this, I endured enough already. I got up and grabbed my books just as thoughts from Faith's table started hitting me, each worse than the last. I ignored them as best I could and made my way to the bathroom. Call it hiding if you want, but I stayed there until lunch was over.

The rest of the day passed in pieces. Sometimes it felt as if time moved quickly. Sometimes it barely seemed to move at all. I was infuriated with myself. I had been dealing with this long enough that it shouldn't still hurt me. But every time I heard a voice in my head, I couldn't help but feel the sting. I didn't want to hear any of them ever again! What right did they have to judge me? Why should they pick out every little thing they didn't like about me? To make themselves feel more perfect? Probably. Those leeches! I hoped that they'd all grow old, alone, and ugly. And I hoped someone would remind them of it every day!

As I walked to my locker I fumbled furiously with my binder, checking my schedule one last time. So what was going to be my final torture of the day? Gym. My stomach twisted into a knot. Someone must really have had it in for me.

Dreading the locker room, the imminent mental remarks on my lack of coordination, the unsympathetic coach, I put away my books and slammed the locker. I felt numb as I walked to the gym. Each stride propelled me forward on stiff, quickly moving legs. I probably looked like a zombie. Everyone I passed was a blur. Every voice in my head was just background noise. I had finally snapped.

I can't remember what I was thinking when I got to the gym doors. I doubt I was thinking at all, which is probably why I walked right into them. My body slammed against the heavy metal and the force sent me reeling back. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor, my head spinning. I should have remembered they were pull doors.

To my despair, I was jolted out of my zombie-like trance. I could hear people laughing all around me. I was immediately bombarded by their thoughts. It was a cascade of voices. Some were a little concerned; most were hurtful. I noticed that some were even out loud.

I was trapped in a whirlwind, completely overwhelmed. I couldn't think, couldn't move. I had to force myself to breathe. I could hear my heart aching to explode. I wished it would. I wanted it to stop, stop letting me survive, stop beating, just let me go. Looking around at the swirling faces, I wondered why no one tried to help.

My throat dried up, getting tighter and tighter, as if someone was choking me. Tears burned my eyes, blurring the world. It hurt. I hurt. Those few moments felt like days. Time had decided to crawl, enjoying my suffering like everyone else.

I closed my eyes and everything went silent. I was free. No voices, no laughter, no staring eyes. Nothing. I let myself get swept away in it. So this was what it was like not to care? It felt like I was sleeping for the first time in my life. I was at peace.

“Hey, are you all right?” The voice sounded so far away. Someone was shaking my shoulder. “Somebody get the nurse.” I couldn't tell if the voice was out loud or in my head. I forced myself to look. A pair of nervous brown eyes slowly came into focus. Dark hair dangled around his face – a face that looked at me without scorn, without sneering, just looking, seeing me. “Can you hear me?”

I nodded, sending a jolt of pain through my skull and down my neck. I winced.

“Don't move,” he said. “I think you hit your head.” His eyes flitted around my face. “The nurse is coming.”

“It hurts.” My voice sounded pathetic.

“You might have a concussion,” he said. I agreed. My thoughts felt muddy. It was as if I were a little girl again – scared, confused. Through the mire of my mind a thought began to form: I didn't know what he was thinking.

My tongue betrayed my thoughts before I could stop it. “Why aren't you thinking something bad about me?”

He raised an eyebrow. “You don't think a concussion is bad?” he asked with a little chuckle. There was something in his eyes – maybe I was imagining it, but it looked like he was figuring something out.

I looked around. People were staring at me, looking anxious and concerned. They must have been thinking about me, but I couldn't hear them. A wave of relief melted over me. The voices were gone!

I looked back at the brown eyes. He looked so concerned. No one had ever looked at me like that. I wanted to thank him. He made me glad that my heart hadn't stopped. I felt silly, considering I had never met him before, but I decided that he was my personal angel.

He looked up. The nurse had arrived. “An ambulance is coming,” she said. “Everyone, go to your classes, please.”

The boy looked down at me, then up at the nurse, as if trying to decide what to do. Panic gripped my rattled brain. No! I didn't want him to ever go away. I needed him. He was the only one who had bothered to be nice; I couldn't lose him now. I grabbed his arm. “Don't leave,” I said. I felt connected to him even if I didn't know anything about him.

He smiled gently. “I won't.”

“I'm Anna,” I said, glad that I could remember my name.

“Ryan.”

While the nurse was busy checking if I was all right, I couldn't take my eyes off Ryan. His deep brown eyes locked with mine and for a moment I wished I could hear his thoughts. Just maybe for a minute. The way he looked at me – it was as if he was asking me something.

I heard sirens approaching.

Can you hear me, Anna? The gentle voice echoed in my head, taking me by surprise. It was his. Was it a memory or was I really hearing him?

Yes, I can hear you, I thought. If it is you.

A slow, gorgeous smile crept across his face. I knew you could.


The author's comments:
A short piece briefly introducing a full length story I'm working on.

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This article has 813 comments.


on Dec. 27 2009 at 10:17 am
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments
This is sooo good! Wait- can she actually hear people? At first I thought it was like her thinking about herself... but when Ryan talked to her... Anyway, wow!

on Dec. 24 2009 at 11:43 am
this was soooo well written

it had the potentional to be cliche but it didnt really seem it, i liked it a lot and you're an amazing writer, i love Anna already, keep writing! haha :)

on Dec. 23 2009 at 7:00 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

please, i beg you, keep writing, please!! thank you!

mmfdg623 GOLD said...
on Dec. 20 2009 at 2:01 pm
mmfdg623 GOLD, Lyndhurst, New Jersey
15 articles 0 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
Far away in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
Louisa May Alcott

This story is so cute. I love it. It's amazing. Keep up the good work!

on Dec. 18 2009 at 4:51 pm
valwriter23 BRONZE, Homer Glen, Illinois
2 articles 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment." pride and prejudice~ Jane Austen

bahaha that was so cute. good descriptions :) keep it up

on Dec. 17 2009 at 5:01 pm
Darkchloe14 BRONZE, Memphis, Tennessee
1 article 0 photos 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Be Strong"

This story is the best one I've read on this website yet! Please let there be a sequal

JustMe1221 said...
on Dec. 14 2009 at 4:50 pm
This was amazing. It was very well written and structured fabulously. I can only hope that something I write can be as good as this.

on Dec. 11 2009 at 7:52 pm
ashleyk. PLATINUM, Congers, New York
20 articles 18 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan

This is amazing. You have a true gift. I would buy this in a heartbeat. Pure bliss.

DEMON said...
on Dec. 11 2009 at 5:50 pm
There has been Ryan and Anna...Romeo and Juliet...Edward and Bella...I introduce to to you, Darian and Clara...

"RAZED EXPECTATIONS"

Wisps of smoke danced into the wintry air from my lips, creating ornate designs that could never be replicated. I carefully tilted the corners of my lips into a smile that I meant to be wry. Of course, it's difficult to articulate emotions that I can't feel, but I find that irony is relatively simple to demonstrate. I inhaled the toxic vapors of the cigarette casually. Its sinister, black cancer couldn't cripple a seventeen-year-old boy with no lungs, let alone a heart.

I glanced in the direction of the horizon, and flinched. The sun was dying flamboyantly, casting its radiant colors across the sky. Its last waves of light caressed my cold, pale skin. I wanted to snarl rebelliously as I felt its warmth slide against me deviously.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

My muscles went rigid, and I had to focus madly on controlling my shaking hands. I would know that voice, that beautiful, disastrous voice, in the realms beyond that of Earth. I grated my teeth, reeling in the disturbing sensations that she unknowingly always aroused in me.

I cocked my body towards her arrogantly, and lifted my mouth into a crooked crescent moon. I felt my eyes flashing, but I worked vehemently to fixate an arctic, hard tone into the dark of my indigo irises.

“I find the sunset lifeless and meaningless, actually,” I countered flatly, and a beat too late.

She laughed merrily, and I struggled within myself as my mind and body became entranced by the beautiful movement of her laughter as the colors of the sun played about her.

“You amuse me, Darian. How can you have such a pessimistic view of the world? The sun will not be lifeless until it disappears beneath the horizon, and the night falls. It’ll rise tomorrow, though,” she said.

I dared not think of her name. I hated the way my soul-if I had a soul-thrilled when her voice lingered over my name. It reminded me of music. I had to close my mind defiantly as I thought of music. I wanted nothing that resembled passion.

“That’s an inane notion that foolish women entertain. You want poetry, and ridiculous vows of forever. You aren’t difficult to read. If you want that sunset to mean something, then you want unrequited love. It doesn’t work like that,” I growled unmercifully, angry at her for unleashing the flood of feelings upon me.

DEMON said...
on Dec. 11 2009 at 5:48 pm
"RAZED EXPECTATIONS" continues...

Her lovely green eyes shifted into hard emeralds.

“What do you know about me, Dare? And what’s so wrong with having dreams? And why are you talking to me like that? I was simply commenting on the sunset.” She tossed her red curls, clearly miffed.

I lifted my chin, and blew smoke in her face. It was easier on me when she was angry. I don’t know why she bothered with me. Why she was brave enough to confront me. Why she didn’t follow the laws of the superficial high school we both attended. Why she didn’t stay away from me, like everyone else.

“You’ll die from that smoking, Darian.” She glared at me. We’d had this argument a lot. I lifted my eyebrows, and turned away from her, signaling that the conversation was over.

She didn’t obey, and I sighed.

“You know, Dare, you could let yourself feel. You could understand it.” Her voice was soft, a whisper in the darkening air. She was air. My air.

I reviled the potency of the emotions I could feel pulsing through me. I ran a hand through my black hair nervously, my body skidding with strange, unfamiliar energy. I didn’t want to answer her. Why didn’t she leave?

I made a fatal mistake when I looked at her. Every nerve inside of me screamed, as though my body and internal organs were recharging hurriedly in the rare moment of my awakening.

I think I felt my heart beat hesitantly.

My voice seemed like that of a stranger. It had a rich, deep tone to it. It had color.

“Understand what?”

Something in my expression changed the way she was looking at me. It may have mirrored the arrangement of my own features. She became vulnerable in that instant.

“Kiss me.” She whispered brokenly.

Surprise jolted keenly through me. God, I wished I was numb again. Everything felt electric-too intense and too vivid. Emotions scattered across my being, a mutinous invasion of the raging war against myself. I was defenseless and an easy prey to her request. I breathed jaggedly, and there was a husky vibe to it. Want. I recognized it more clearly as it bloomed vibrantly through me.

And she was waiting. For me.

I destroyed the walls I had so warily built as I leaned towards her. She lifted a creamy hand and laid it tenderly against my cheek, the expectation making her bold. I moaned, and closed my eyes. My own hands loosened, and reached for her face greedily

Something hot-burning-ignited against my skin. I wrenched myself away, dazed by the unpleasant sensation. Had a spark traveled through our bodies? That’s when I noticed the cigarette kindling like a faint ember beside my marred hand. It had burnt me. The throbbing pain brought a wave of consciousness through me. Reality. And I stared at her face, inches from mine, and something clicked inside of me. Gears that began humming smoothly, like a tuned clock. I pulled back, and tossed her hand away like it stung. I grimaced as the vitals within me slowly resumed their state of nothingness, and shook my head to clear it of its nonsensical ideas.

She watched the change take possession of me, and tears began to collect in her eyes.

I found that I could care less.

I grinned at her, and mocked, “I taste of cigarettes, Clara.”

She got up shockingly to her feet, and backed away as if understanding for the first time what I was. Tears stained her nondescript face.

I smiled, that careful replication of a smile, and said acidly, “Did I humor your silly fantasies well?”

Her face crumpled entirely, and she pivoted away and ran sobbing from my scathing ridicule.

The sun died, and all was dark.

on Dec. 7 2009 at 3:47 am
AzureGal BRONZE, Malacca, Florida
1 article 0 photos 14 comments
OMG this is AWESOME!! PLEASE make it into a book!! I'll be the 1st to get it! =)

reesha SILVER said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 11:51 pm
reesha SILVER, Rawalpindi, Other
6 articles 15 photos 124 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."
Walt Disney

"Hakuna Matata!"
Lion King

"The British policy was 'unite and conquer'. But I say 'unite and conquer'."
Greg Mortenson (Three Cups of Tea)

awwwww this was soooo cute!!!! i'm waiting for the complete story ;)

Amour3 BRONZE said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 9:47 pm
Amour3 BRONZE, Cypress, Texas
3 articles 0 photos 12 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Never give up."

OMG. This story is so cute and makes me want to read more. I hope you continue writing!

Mangoz SILVER said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 9:36 pm
Mangoz SILVER, La Mesa, California
6 articles 2 photos 3 comments
I would absolutly been seen reading a book like this. It shares some of the unforunate truths we face in life. This as a book would definetly rise to the top. I can't wait to read more of this I'm dying for more. :)

JulianaB. GOLD said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 6:59 pm
JulianaB. GOLD, Chickasha, Oklahoma
10 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
'I understand now what you wanted all along, you want me to embrace your pain and suffering. If you really have to fight, it's the least I can do.'

Please write a book!!!

MadelynE. GOLD said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 6:16 pm
MadelynE. GOLD, Arlington, Texas
17 articles 0 photos 19 comments
Great story line! However, it might be a good idea to work on eliminating your "be" verbs (is, am, are, was, were, been, being, be, should, would, could). Once you get those out, it will be perfect! :)

on Dec. 6 2009 at 5:54 pm
OnyxDivine PLATINUM, Scarborough, Other
22 articles 0 photos 18 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Take chances"
"never regret something that made you smile"
"Forever isn't infinity. It's the time two people spent together, be it a few seconds, five minutes, an hour, days, months, or more."

Love love LOVE the story.

I'm a little confused how she cant hear anyone else now except for Ryan, but I guess that's what the rest of your story will explain. This should be a book :)

on Dec. 6 2009 at 5:42 pm
LeilaniLives PLATINUM, Fort Wayne, Indiana
42 articles 11 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"They say 'Life's two steps forward and one step back' - But what if I tripped and fell down the whole flight of stairs?"

God, this was just beautiful. I am in love with the way you lied the whole story together. Your sentence varitation and your tone- magnificent. I published a story which you could compare and contrast to this, you should check it out in a couple weeks. I'd love to discuss the similarities in our writings. TeenInk has taken abojt two months now of pending approval for it. I'm growing impatient actually. But anyways, when it is published, I think you should really read it. Your style and what you choose the right about seems to be a lot like mine. Again, wonderful, wonderful piece. Thanks you.

on Dec. 6 2009 at 4:24 pm
freespirit94 GOLD, St. Louis, Missouri
11 articles 0 photos 15 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in their looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are."
-Marcus Zusak

Wow! You truly have amazing writing ability. I couldn't stop reading! I honestly enjoyed this so much! Great job!

maki:p GOLD said...
on Dec. 6 2009 at 4:17 pm
maki:p GOLD, Rocklin, California
17 articles 1 photo 47 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The only journey is the one within" and "You can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped."

Amazing. I really liked it.