The morning my mother died, had to be the worst day of my life. She was your typical single mom and was very involved in our small community in our small town of Cliveden, Massachusetts. It was late March, and it was cloudy and gray outside. The time of year had a lot to do with how I felt that day. I just sensed that something was wrong. My mother was not awake yet, and she usually gets me out of bed. I went into her room and walked over to her bed. I put my hand on her and she was stiff and frozen. I took her pulse and felt nothing.
Seeing the ambulance take my mother away, was possibly the worst feeling I ever felt. It was like my heart was being ripped out my chest and I felt this emptiness that I still feel today whenever I approach the subject. Her death was so untimely and sudden, no one was expecting it. They could not even find a cause of death, her heart just stopped in her sleep.
My mother was all I had left. I am the only child. My father died in a freak accident before him and my mother were able to have more children. After his death, my mother was never the same. She did not even go out on dates and try to find someone else; she was never going to love anyone like she loved my dad.
She only lived four years after my father died and she struggled without him every day. The first year he was gone my mother just was not the same person. She used to make a huge breakfast every morning while my dad watched the 8:00am news and I would get ready for school but after he was gone, she would not make breakfast anymore. She eventually coped with it better but even on her happiest days, I always knew there was still something missing. I appreciated that she would try to stay happy for me, even though she was hurting.
If I was ever upset about something, she always knew how to make me feel better. I could go to her with anything and she would always have an answer to my problem. Whenever I was feeling down, my mom used to tell me “There’s no use in being gray, when the sun will shine tomorrow”. But without her, I will always feel gray.