i
He burns bright gold even when he cries tears and they muddy up his soul.

He breathes candied air and likes to tell me to be happy, "keep smiling, the world is beautiful, why should you ever be sad?" He turns into a naïve child, but his smile brings me into bloom and so how can I be sad?

He raises tulips and violets and brings out worms and red birds for gifts and toys. He likes to chase me into green fields and push me into oceans where the water is pure blue and green with pink shells and striped fishes.

He kisses me and tells me he loves me. It burns sometimes, and leaves orange and yellow marks – my skin is now a shade darker.

His eyes are between green and yellow. They watch me as I lay down to bed and a crimson mouth says "I love you" till I sleep. My soul hurts because there’s too much joy. He holds my hand and falls into sleep.

Mother tells me I should not be doing this. Father says I don’t know better. Sister says he’ll leave me for another across the world. I only listen to the boy with the cheery name who wakes me come morning with songs and beauty.


ii
He hits me with dead fists and spits at me frozen words.

"I hate you."

He hunches over and kills people in their sleep with his eyes – dark blue and smooth black. He comes after me and all I see is white and silver and I never scream when my bones break from the frost and my mouth is numb.

"No one will ever love you." My blood bleeds blue. He tells the truth.

I love him too much to be alone.


iii
The days melt with the bruises and the ice till I feel humid breath and a voice singing in my ears.

He makes sweet apologies and feeds me ice cream and takes me under the stars. He tells me he’ll never do it again and uses chalk on the sidewalk to draw two hearts connected.

He writes songs and plays guitar about lifelong journeys and true loves and carefree dreams.


iv
Winter is gone and Summer has come back.