Nothing was wrong with my sister, she wasn’t crazy. We were supposed to be best friends, we told each other everything. That’s what I thought anyway. We did everything together, shopping, sports, we even went on double dates. You couldn’t separate us, our parents were even a little annoyed because we never really hung out with anyone else. Why did we need to? We had each other.

Christy was a junior in high school and I was a sophomore, so you would think we would have different friends, but we really didn’t. Christy had other “friends” but they weren’t real, typical high school girls, they act like your best friend then they stab you in the back. But Christy’s only other true friend was Mike, he had been in love with her since fifth grade, and she had no idea.
All Christy had ever wanted was to fit in be “perfect”, so she did whatever she had to, and hung out with whoever she had to, to be on “top”.

She started acting different after school started, she was angry all the time, she never ate dinner with us she always brought it up to her room. She even began shutting me out. She dyed her hair a hideous platinum blonde and started wearing lots of makeup. Christy was a completely different person.

Christy didn’t smile anymore, that sparkle that had always been there was gone, she began to fade away into nothing. I knew something was wrong. She was in the bathroom all the time, I never thought anything of it, ‘maybe she is sick’, and I really truly wanted to believe this.

It was a Saturday morning when I found out Christy had an eating disorder. I didn’t know she was in the bathroom until I barged in there and saw it.

She was bent over the toilet with her finger in her mouth. Everything went into slow motion. “Get out”! She yelled to me. But I didn’t move, I didn’t know what to do. “Jen are you deaf, get out”! She pushed me out of the room as she screamed at me. My words had completely gone out of my head, my thoughts were racing. My sister had a problem, and wouldn’t let me help.

“If you tell mom and dad, I will never speak to you again”, Christy threatened.

“Christy just talk to me, let me help you”, tears came rushing down my face as I begged her to let me in.

“I don’t need your help” she didn’t even look at me, “stay out of my business”. She slammed the door behind her as she left.

What happened to my sister, the girl that didn’t everything with me; we told each other things my parents didn’t even know. My world came crashing down in those few words ‘I don’t need your help’. I didn’t understand why she was acting like this; I went to our room and just sat there. The room began spinning around me, it was like a roller coaster ride, and I hated roller coasters. What was I going to do? If I told mom and dad she would hate me forever. But I didn’t tell them, something bad might happen to Christy. ‘Ugh’! I screamed into my pillow multiple times to get my frustration out. I heard the door open.

“Jen can we talk”? Christy said to me in a begging tone. I said nothing.

She sat next to me on my bed, “I know that you saw what I was doing, but nothing is wrong, I am just trying to lose a little extra weight that’s all”.

“Why”? that’s all I could say was ‘why’ I had no other words. She tried giving me crap about how she tried diet pills but they didn’t work, so she took them and made herself sick. It didn’t make any sense to me; my sister was perfect in my eyes.

“I love you, you know that right”? I just nodded. “Now get dressed”, she said to me. “We are going to a party”.

So I did. I put on a pair of skinny jeans and a purple tank top with a darker purple jacket over it. But Christy was all dressed up like she was going to a big movie premier. She had on a sequin black skirt and a red flowing top that showed way too much cleavage. I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want her to get even madder at me.

Our parents had gone to visit Grandma Joan for the weekend, so we didn’t have to think of any bogus story to tell them. Mike was waiting outside in his midnight blue piece of junk car. It had rust on the sides and at any time the bumper could have just fallen off.

“Let’s go”! My sister screamed in excitement. Mike just laughed at her; she ran outside and hopped into the car. But I said nothing.

“What’s wrong Jen”? Mike asked me.

“Nothing, just watch out for Christy tonight okay”? I said knowing he would anyway.

We pulled up to Christy’s friends house, and you could clearly tell there was a party going on the block was lined up with cars and there were probably a little over a hundred kids there. We went inside and the first thing Christy did was get a drink, I had never seen her drink so fast, by the time I had one drink in my hand she was on her third. This wasn’t my sister. I have never seen her act like this before; she was a completely different person. I stood in the corner by myself, just watching Christy chugging one beer after the other. I had lost count after sixteen drinks.

She was a mess; she stumbled all over knocking into vases, lamps and even people. Christy threw herself onto the dance floor and began spinning, just spinning. I knew at that moment something bad was about to happen. Every stared at her and laughed, they thought this was a big joke, but it wasn’t something was wrong with my sister. After dancing around for ten minutes, she just stopped, frozen. Next thing I knew her eyes rolled to the back of her head and CRASH, she was on the floor.

I ran over to her, she wasn’t moving but her eyes were still open. ‘She’s dead I know it’, I didn’t want to think this way but what else should I have thought? After all those drinks and I am positive she had taken more diet pills, something bad was sure to happen to her.

Everyone stood around us, whispering.

“She is such a mess”; “she looks like trash”, “what a dead beat”.

“Call 911”! I shouted hoping someone would do something, they did nothing except run out of the house so that they wouldn’t get in trouble. Some friends Christy has. But Mike shouted, “They are on their way”! I knew I could count on him.

The ambulance arrived about five minutes later. They hoisted her up onto the gurney and put an oxygen mask on her face to help her breathe, because she wasn’t on her own. I went into serious panic mode on the ride to the hospital; I sat in the back holding my sister’s hand, hoping my energy would go into her. We arrived at the hospital and they immediately took her into the ER, I couldn’t go in with her, they told me to wait in the waiting room. The walls were puke green, and the carpet looked to be thirty years old. They had old and out dated furniture and magazines. There was a stupid little TV in the corner of the room that didn’t even work; the only thing you could watch was static.

It felt as though an eternity had gone by until Mike got there. I ran into his arms and just cried. We said nothing, we both just cried. We sat together for a while until the ER doctor came out.

“Where is my sister, what happened, is she okay”? I had never talked so fast in my life.

The doctor started talking in what seemed to be a foreign language; Mike and I just looked at each other and then started back at the doctor.

He chuckled a little and said, “Your sister has alcohol poising and got very sick from a mixture of pills and the alcohol” he explained. “Is she on any medication”?

I froze; I didn’t know what to say. I knew she was on the diet pills and I knew they weren’t good for her, but telling the doctor was the good thing for my sister. I had explained to the doctor how she had been making herself sick and taking diet pills that clearly were not good for her. He could tell I was nervous about even telling him any of this; he just looked at me with a smile on his face and said I had done the right thing, I was helping my sister.

The doctor told us not to worry, she would be okay and that they wanted to keep her over night just to keep an eye on her. I wanted to stay but they told me to go home because I had a long night. Leaving the waiting room I called mom and dad, I wanted to wait until I knew she was okay so I didn’t freak them out too much. I told them everything, the party, diet pills, and the throwing up. My mom never cried this much before, I felt a huge knot in my stomach after telling her but I knew it was the right thing. She said I was a good sister for telling them, but that’s not how I felt, I felt like a bad sister for going against my sister. It made me feel awful to know that I went behind Christy’s back, I broke that sister bond that we had for so long, that bond that no one else could explain but us, that thing that made us best friends. I was afraid that was soon going to be gone.

The ride back home was quiet, Mike and I said nothing, I sat in the front with my hands in my lap just staring out the window, and Mike drove with a blank stare. I knew my parents were not going to be home because they were going to stay at the hospital with Christy, so I asked Mike to stay with me just so I didn’t have to be alone. By the time we got home, the sun was getting ready to rise, and as soon as I got to my room I crashed, and slept for what felt like an eternity.

I heard the car door slam and I knew Christy was home, it was around four o’clock when they finally got home, I was so nervous to talk to her. She walked in the door and I couldn’t believe what I saw, she looked terrible, her eyes red and puffy, giant black and blue bags under her eyes, and her skin was pale as a ghost. She didn’t look like my sister.

“Go upstairs to and rest, we will talk about this later”. My mom said her loving yet disappointed tone.

Christy walked by me and didn’t even look at me; she knew I had told them everything without saying anything to me. I began to cry because I knew that relationship Christy and I had was gone. I thought she would have been thrilled to see Mike, but she just looked at him and told him to go home, he tried explaining that he wanted to be there for her, but she wanted nothing to do with him at this point and told him to leave, this time in a very hurtful way. I could tell Mike had been upset by this.

“She is going through a lot right now, don’t worry sport she will come around and realize you’re a good friend who is always there for her”. My dad said as he walked Mike outside trying to make him feel a little better.

Mike just smiled and got in his car and drove off, I knew we would be seeing him soon. He wasn’t going to give up on Christy that easily.

I could sleep that night, all I heard was screaming, slamming and crashes. Christy and my parents were fighting. I heard only parts of the argument, I was trying my hardest to tune it out and go to sleep, but nothing was working.

“We are so disappointed in you”! They would yell.

“You have no idea what I go through every day, you don’t know what it’s like for me”! Christy would yell back.
They fighting went on for hours. I don’t even know what time it was when it finally stopped but I didn’t care when it did, I was just glad it stopped. That day Christy didn’t said nothing to me; she didn’t even look at me. The worst part of it all was that we shared a room, so we were bound to see each other eventually.

“You’re my sister, I should be able to tell you anything and trust that you won’t say anything, I guess I was wrong”. Christy finally spoke to me; I just wish it wasn’t that.

My heart was broken, I went behind my sisters back and she can’t even trust me anymore. What was I going to do? She is my sister, my best friend, I couldn’t imagine going through my days with her mad at me. I had to do something, I had to make things right. But I knew it was going to take a little while before I could knock some sense into her and show her that I was looking out for her, and being a good sister.

It had been a week before Christy finally went back to school, and I knew it was going to be rough for her. She got up that Monday morning surprisingly in a good mood, she even spoke to me. Yes it was only a “good morning” and “let’s go” but hey it was more then what she had said to me before. So I thought maybe this was the start to a good day, maybe today would be different. Mike picked us up like he did every morning for school, he lived down the block, it was a great thing that we didn’t have to ride the dirty old bus that smelled of vomit and sweat socks. The car ride was different today, I expected silence from both Mike and Christy, but that’s not how it was at all. She was laughing and joking around, and even singing ridiculously with the radio. This was the sister I had grown up with and knew.

We got to school, and that’s when things changed. We got out of the car in the student parking lot and the stares began. Everyone was staring at Christy and you could tell they were talking about her too. Without even trying to hide it people began pointing at Christy and whispering.

“Did you hear about what happened to her”?

“She was such a mess”.

“How can she show her face after making such a fool of herself”?

This continued all the way inside and all throughout the day. I felt so bad for my sister; even her so called “friends” gave her the cold shoulder. The dirty looks and the nasty words continued all day. People were calling her a slob, dead weight, trash, every bad name in the book. My heart broke for my sister; she had already gone through so much and now this? I didn’t think today could get any worse.

The bell rang for our fifth period class to start and as usual I was late, but my teacher never cared, I was at the top of the class. But when I got to the science hall way there was this crowd, they were all yelling and screaming. Like every other kid, I went to go see what was going on.

Christy. Christy was fighting some girl. They were screaming at each other! I didn’t know who the other girl was, but clearly she didn’t like my sister. “Slut”, “white trash”, “pig”, I couldn’t believe it, and the names were being thrown back and forth at each other. But then things took a turn for the worse. The girl swung her arm back and threw it at my sister. She hit her dead in the face. Christy fell to the ground with a big thud, the tears came rushing down my face as I screamed for someone to stop this. Everyone just yelled, “FIGH, FIGHT, FIGHT”!

The girl was now on top of Christy just punching her, they rolled around on the floor pulling hair and scratching at each other, they were like animals. Christy was now punching this girl, I had never seen her act like this before, she had rage in her eyes, she didn’t care what she was doing, and she needed to take it out on someone. The fight went on for another 3 minutes until two teachers came out and finally separated them.

The hall way looked like a scene at a rocked concert after a huge mosh pit. There were clumps of hair on the ground, from both girls, tiny pieces of blue and orange fabric ripped off from the claws, and blood. There was blood on the ground, it was just splatters of it but the blood was still there. My heart was racing, I was still crying. ‘Did this really just happen’? I thought to myself. I just stood there and cried.

My science teacher told me to go down to the nurse’s offices because I didn’t look so good. Well I didn’t feel so good either. How else would I feel? My sister just got into a fight and there wasn’t anything I could do about it. I got to the nurse and she told me to lie down for a little while just until I felt better. So I did. About ten minutes later, the girl walked in that Christy had just got into a fight with. She had a black eye; the bruise was already huge and took up half of her face. Her nose was bleeding, and dried blood was on her chin and clothes. Her hair was all over the place, some of it still in a pony tail, her hands were starting to bruise, you could see the cuts and blood on them from a mile away.

In my mind, I was telling myself to get up and confront this girl. She had just attacked my sister, she hurt her. Everything inside me wanted to hit her. But in my heart I actually felt bad for her. Why did I feel bad for the girl that just ruined my sister’s reputation even more? I couldn’t figure it out, but I didn’t care I just went back t sleep.

I got home that day around six o’clock expecting my sister to be sitting on the couch and my parents screaming at her. But that’s not what happened at all. My mom was sitting on the couch crying and my dad pacing around with a blank stare on his face. Something more was wrong. “Where is Christy”? I asked trying to hold back the tears. Neither of them said anything, so I asked again, and again.

“She is gone, we came home after I got off the phone with the school and they said she was sent home and we got here and she was gone” my mom said trying not to cry even more. “She isn’t answering her cell phone; I have no idea where she could be”.

I ran upstairs to see if she had left anything behind to even give me a little hint as to where she went. I tore the room apart. I ripped the blankets off of her bed, took the pillows out of the cases, I knew she kept a diary; I just needed to find it. I pulled everything out of her desk and night stand, I tore into her closet. I found the pair of shoes I had been looking for, for about two weeks now, but I couldn’t find the diary. There were things everywhere, the room looked like a tornado hit. I feel to the ground, on top of al l the crap everywhere. ‘Think Jen, think’. I tried thinking of everything and ever place she could have hid the stupid diary. Where of all places did she feel like she could get everything out? The bathroom! Of course why didn’t I look there in the first place? She was always in there!

I went to the bathroom and tore it apart too. I open the cabinet and found it taped to the top of it. She knew no one would ever think too look in there. I began to read.

“January 5th, no 1 gets it, no 1 gets me. I just want 2 look nice, that cant be enough 4 them? Just because I change what I am doing doesn’t mean anything is wrong with me. Why cant they see that? I am trying 2 look better, fit in w/ all the other girls in my big stupid high school. The guys never used 2 look at me, I wasnt pretty enough, skinny, cool enough. So I did something. I kno why they r doing this, they r all jealous, they r mad that I am happy again, that I am beautiful. That’s why they r trying 2 stop me, JEALOUSY! I knew it all along, mom, dad and even jen, my sister. Well I will show them. I can run far away where they will never find me, someplace beautiful, warm, and where no 1 can judge me. I can be free.

I knew where she was going! When Christy and I were younger we used to tell mom we were going to “run away” for the day. Mom always laughed and said, “okay have fun, dinner will be ready when you get back”. It was like a little game we liked to play, mom and dad always played along. Christy and I always went to the same place, we have a giant forest behind our house, so we would walked through the giant trees with their leaves gently blowing in the summer breeze, and the pink and yellow flowers beginning to bloom. It was always so beautiful. But what we went to was an old abandon shack deep in the forest. The outside was mangled and ugly. The siding was falling off, the roof had holes, and the windows were painted with dust, and that’s how we kept it, we knew if it was gross on the outside no one would ever go in. The inside we made our own, we lined the walls with hot pink glitter fabric, a purple and green rug brought a little life to the room, miss- matched couches and chairs were scattered around the room, Backstreet Boys and NSYNC covered the walls. That was our place, we had no rules, no one to tell us what to do, and we could be free.

I knew that’s where I would find my sister. So I ran. I ran through the woods as fast as I could, I still remember exactly where to go even though it had been years since we had both been there together. After five minutes of running, there it was, the exact same shack we had adventures in. it was still dirty and run down, just how we left it. My heart was racing, not only from the running, but I was nervous to talk to Christy, to confront her. But I knew I had to, it had to be done. I had to help my sister.

I walked up to the door and slowly pushed it open. There she was, sitting on the hideous floral couch that we loved so much, she sat there crying. We stood there a moment just looking at each other; saying nothing, but we knew exactly what the other was thinking.

I ran to my sister and hugged her, she didn’t hug me back. ‘What happened to us’? I thought to myself. We used to be so close and now she wouldn’t even hug me. I begged her to talk to me, she finally gave in.

“Christy what happened to you, why are you doing this to yourself”? I cried.

She was silent for a moment, “I am just trying to look better, trying to feel better about myself. Don’t you get that”?

‘No Christy I don’t, you are beautiful in everyone’s eyes, and we love you, me, mom, dad, and Mike. You never had to change’! I tried anything to get it into her head.

We talked for what felt like years, it had been a long time since we talked like this. It was such a nice feeling. My sister started being my sister again. We sat on the couch and talked about high school, boyfriends, and everything else we could think of that Christy wanted to get off her chest.

“You’re my best friend you know that”, Christy said to me as she held my hand.

‘That’s why I do what I do, I am just trying to help you, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you’. I had my sister back.

I told her we needed to go home; she needed to be there, that’s where she belonged. By the time we left it was night, so we walked through the woods hand in hand just as we did when we were kids. We got home and mom was waiting at the door with tears in her eyes. Christy ran to her and they hugged, said nothing, just hugged. I hadn’t seen them like this in a long time, my family was back together.

We came inside and mom and dad sat Christy down for a talk, she grabbed my hand as I started walking away, “don’t leave, please stay” she said in a begging sort of way. I told her I wasn’t going anywhere. We all sat and talked for hours, we all told my sister that we loved her just for who she was and that we never wanted her to change. I think all along that’s what she needed to hear, she needed to hear this from her family. Everything in that moment was perfect; my world came back in order. My family was whole again, and my sister was my best friend again. My parents decided that we all needed to spend more time together, more family dinners, vacations, trips, anything we could do as a family. That made my sister smile; I guess that’s all she wanted, the family’s attention, not just from me but from our parents too.

My sister finally got to a better place in her life, she was happy again. We all saw the change in her, the better change. She laughed more, talked more, she enjoyed her life more. She even opened her eyes and realized that she didn’t need the “perfect” friends in high school or the “perfect” boyfriend, she didn’t need to search for that anymore, and she found out that he was there all along. Mike, she had finally seen that he cared for her more then she had ever known, they were perfect for each other. Everything was how it should be now, everything was back in order, and I had my best friend back. My sister Christy.