Hope Gave Me A Hand | Teen Ink

Hope Gave Me A Hand

March 4, 2024
By IrisLiu SILVER, Beijing, Other
IrisLiu SILVER, Beijing, Other
5 articles 2 photos 0 comments

Girl

I stand at the edge of the lake in the darkness. The tranquil water lies before me, still as if it is dead, just like my heart. I take a step forward, suddenly feeling the ice-cold water scratching my skin like a knife, sending chills down my spine. But I have gone numb already towards the world around me. I slowly walk towards the center of the lake, the water submerged my ankle, my knees, and then my waist. Coldness envelops me, but I won’t stop. The water keeps rising to my neck, my chin, and my nose, until I can no longer touch the ground with my feet. And I let my body sinks down to the depth of the lake. At first, the turbid but peaceful water embraces me in its arms, but then the instinct of survival forces me to open my mouth to breathe, allowing more murky water influx through my mouth and nose, invading my body, filling up my lung, suffocating me. “You still get a chance to live if you want! Just swim back to the lakeshore! Swim back to the lakeshore!” A voice shouts in my head. But I can’t. The physical pain isn’t real, while the mentally suffering is more of a torture, and I know what is waiting for me out there:

“Her hair is so hard on the eyes...She must have engaged in an improper profession...”

“Good girls will never dye their hair pink.”

“A graduate student dress like a bar girl...”

“Who knows how she get that degree...”

Violence, insults, rumors. People insult you as if you cannot feel a thing, they will never understand that the words they said for fun and vent their emotion that will inflict so much pain on others, and they don’t even need to be responsible for their words and pay for what they say.  

The water seems more murky than ever, and my mind becomes dizzy because of the lack of oxygen for a long time. The pain that I felt previously mitigates, I feel myself becomes lighter and lighter, as a feather. I can feel that my consciousness slowly slips away from me. Faintly, I heard the water stirring, and I feel a strong arm wrap on my waist, pulling me up...

Hope

I sit in the boat as I usually do, letting the wind carry it along as it pleases. It’s dark tonight, without the moonlight lighting up the lake, everything seems to blend into the darkness of the night. And suddenly, I see her. The distinct pink hair stands out from the night. She is standing at the lakeshore staring into the water. What is she doing here at this late hour? Curiously, I slowly and quietly row the boat towards her. The oar touches the surface of the water and sobs quietly. The next moment I look up, she is walking straight towards the center of the lake, without looking back. The water gradually rises above her waist, her shoulders, until she is completely engulfed by it; and the surface becomes calm and still as death. I suddenly panicked, hasten the pace of rowing towards the place she vanished; I jumped off the boat, swim towards the depth of the lake. The water is cold as ice, and its turbidity makes it hard to see anything. And suddenly, a glimmer of hope arises as I catch sight of her pink hair. I swim close to her, wrap my arm around her waist and swim the two of us to the surface.

They

   A couple of drunk people pass by the lake chatting and laughing loudly without noticing the boat on the lake. As their voice gradually fade away, the world seems return to silence. Just now, the girl woke, finding herself on a boat, and beside her is a boy who is of similar age to her.

  “You ok?” The boy asks gently as he sees that she is awake.

  “Yeah...” The girl says in a feeble voice. She is trembling violently.

  “Here, drink this, you will feel warmer.” He hands her some hot water as he says. The girl takes it in her hands, sipping it silently.

   “Your hair is special.” He says as he sees her sipping the glass of water. Suddenly, the girl’s look changes, as if she just realizes why she is here.

“I mean...I think your hair is beautiful.” He looks at her and says. The girl turns around, facing him, and he notices the surprise in her eyes.

“You really think that?” She asks sincerely and eagerly.

“Of couse! The color suits you so well! I can’t imagine another color that is better than this one.” He smiles and says. His gaze is so warm and gentle that seems can dispel all the gloom around her. But when she looks away and see the turbid water, the transitory warmness suddenly disappears, in its place, there is pain torturing memories like nightmares.

“But they hate my hair...They call me bad girl...they think I must have done some unsavory things to get what I own...” She suddenly can't hold back her emotion and burst into tears.

“I didn’t do anything wrong...My hair didn’t harm them...Did it? Why? Why do they keep insulting me and spreading rumors about me...I am not a bad girl...” She covers her face with her hands, and her shoulders are shaking violently with the intensity of tears. He moves a little closer to her, until he can embrace her. He waits until her sobbing sound gradually subsides and says softly:

“I know it must be really hard, facing all of those by yourself. But my little girl, your life is still long, there are still so many wonderful journeys waiting for you to explore. Don’t punish yourself for other people’s fault...”

“Keep on going, be brave and live stronger. Show them who you are and how fortitude you are.”

He then takes out a candy from his pocket and put it into the girl’s hand and rows the boat to the lakeshore. The girl gets off the boat, looking back at him.

“Don’t you come?”

“No...I can’t leave the lake.”

“Why not?”

“I just can’t, I meant to be here.” He smiles again to her, looking into her confusing eyes. Suddenly, he appears so bright in the darkness, like a source of light giving off hope.

“Don’t let others influence the way you live. Be your true self.”

...

Girl

“Be your true self” is the last sentence he said to me. The next day I went to the lake to find him, with the candy he gave me in my hand, but he isn’t there. Only the small boat is drifting on the water, carrying by the soft wind. But suddenly I can feel it in my heart, hope it is.


The author's comments:

My name is Boyun Liu, a grade 11 student in Beijing, China. I love writing in my free time and I want to reflect social issues in my writings. This piece was about a girl who was in desperation and wanted to end her life, but was met with “hope” and had the courage to go on. It was inspired by an event that was hotly debated on the internet, about a young girl with pink hair who posted a picture of herself and her grandfather celebrating her success in getting a postgraduate recommendation. But tons of insults about her hair and rumors about her started to spread on the internet. Eventually she committed suicide from the stress of cyberbullying. I was astounded and angered by the event and I felt upset and pity for what she went through, so I wrote my feelings into a short fiction. 


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