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Dear Mom
“Dear, mom
I miss you, and I regret moving here sometimes because I don’t get to see you every day like I used to. Vancouver isn’t that bad, but everything here seems so boring. The kids are grown and always ask for you, their grandma. We plan on flying out this upcoming summer so we can all plan a trip out of state. I was thinking Cancun, or maybe even Hawaii. If not, then we should just think of something small like Florida. I also have something for you once we come over there. It might not be much of a surprise, but I think you’ll love it. I know how much you hate surprises which is what makes this even more fun.
Remember that cookbook you put in my bag? Well, let’s just say I perfected almost every single meal. My favorite was the lasagna, but the kids really liked the Alfredo. I hope I get to make it for you one day. Are the dogs okay? I’m sad I couldn’t take them with me but I’m sure they’re in good hands. They’ll get to meet the kids once we fly out there. I bet Lulu is going to fall in love with Dylan. They both have the same personalities.
How’s Aunt Cheryl doing? I miss her a lot. I made her famous cream pie and I think she might have some competition. I read all the letters you’ve written to me many times. I keep on replaying all the memories we’ve made together, and I wish I can be a little girl again just so I can relive them. Luke got the kids a kitten. I didn’t approve at first, because who would give a 5-year-old child a baby kitten. But seeing them together makes me happy.
How is everything with you doing? I wanted to ask if you’re okay. You haven’t been as consistent with your letters lately. Is it because of me? Did I do something? I know leaving must have been hard on you, but I thought you would understand why I left. I needed to get away from him. All the trauma in that place really affected me and It’s not because of you but it was because of him. He might be dead, but he isn’t dead in my head. I couldn’t raise my kids there, so we had to decide. It wasn’t an easy one, but we feel that we did this for the best. I hope you can understand.
How’s dad doing? Did he ask about me? Last time I talked to him he wasn’t in a very good state. I hope everything is fine now. I remember when the doctor told us his memory gets worse as he gets older, and I just want to make sure he doesn’t forget about me and the kids. That appointment felt like it was just yesterday, but it was 3 years ago. It’s crazy how time flies. The kids are really missing you. I have a bad feeling about your absence, I’m hoping that everything is okay. Last time you wrote back to me was last year.
I’m looking forward to this summer and so are the kids. The only thing I’m not looking forward to is the plane ride there. We came here by car, so we didn’t have to go by plane. I know what you’re going to say “You’re a grown women, and your still scared of planes?” Yes, mom I am. Do you not remember all those scary movies we used to watch about plane crashes? The worst one was Manifest. Ever since those I will forever be terrified of planes. But I will make an exception since I haven’t seen you in a while and I really miss you.
I already started packing our stuff, even though we don’t leave in 2 months. I just miss everything there except some of the memories I left behind in the first place. Speaking of those memories, I want answers mom. Did you know what he was doing to me? I hope not because what mother would just sit there knowing their child is getting abused by their stepfather. But there were so many signs, how didn’t you know. The bruises, my missing tooth, the scratches, but you were still so blindsided by your love for him that you didn’t even notice. I know I should have told you but I kept telling myself that I don’t want to be the reason. I didn’t want to be the reason that you probably won’t ever trust anyone again. I didn’t want to be the reason why you live with the regret of not knowing. And I didn’t want to be the reason for your loss of happiness. I don’t blame you mom and I forgive you for everything, but I feel like you should have known.
See you soon.
Love,
Your daughter Lisa”
Tears fall from the mother’s eyes as she reads her daughter’s last words for her. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to let her know that she wasn’t mad at her, instead she didn’t have the time to send back letters due to the fact she got diagnosed with cancer last year and chemo took up most of her time. She just wanted one more chance. Just one more chance to hold her daughter. To tell her that she loves her and that she was so sorry for not knowing … The next summer came but it turns out Lisa never got to show her mom her cooking skills as her and her family died on the plane ride there.
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A girl writing her mother after a eventful past.