Donald Trump, the Republican God announced today that drinking alcohol under twenty-one years of age is illegal in the United States unless you have the approval by your parents, but you can purchase a gun at eighteen years old. How does this make sense? Maybe cereal companies should start adding guns as a party favor to boxes of fruit loops.

            “Listen to me now”, stated this Republican God. “It’s okay to carry a gun in your pocket but it’s not okay to carry alcohol in your pocket.” Potentially killing people is legal but having a party with your friends is totally illegal. Do you think kids who went to Sunday school every week ever remember hearing this in a sermon?

            The fact that several shooters have recently killed hundreds of kids in schools is no reason that we should take guns away from our heavenly eighteen-year old’s. The people who want these guns taken away from our children should be given the death penalty. For an additional point of view, maybe we should interview all the parents and guardians of the seventeen boys and girls killed and the seventeen injured during the Parkland school shooting on February 14, 2018.

            It was recently published that firearms are now the number one cause of death for children in the United States but rank fifth in eleven other wealthy countries. The United States has seen a forty two percent increase in the rate of child firearm deaths in the last two decades.

            Drinking alcohol underage is as bad as robbing a federal bank. The bigger the glass the higher the punishment should be. It would jeopardize our national security for all these eighteen-year-old adolescents to have a sip of alcohol at a party with their friends.

            In the United Kingdom, kids can drink from five years old. While their drinking situation is not fantastic, they are more likely to have been exposed to alcohol at a younger age. This means they are less likely to see it as a cool new thing because everyone’s tried it a young age. This means less underage drinking overall and more moderated drinking. If its legal at a younger age and everyone has had experiences with it, it is not viewed to be as “cool”.

            Carrying guns like Al-Qaeda members is fair game for our children. Did you know that half of Walmart’s 4,700 stores sell guns? Our children may want to pick up a daily shot gun along with their eggs and bacon for breakfast at Walmart. Wouldn’t it be extremely productive to get all their shopping done in a single trip? “Think about the gas they’d save by purchasing a gun along with all of their daily necessities.”

            The expression of theses Republicans send us a clear message, not only in social media, but also in pages and pages of articles, that drinking underage is a crime. Might as well put our children in orange jumpsuits and solitary confinement.

            Maybe we should read a book from the Germans? In Germany, the legal age to purchase a gun is eighteen. Also in Germany, the legal drinking age is sixteen years old for the consumption of beverages such as beer and wine; to purchase hard liquor, the consumer must be at least eighteen years old.

            I can only hope that my RA at school starts writing people up for drinking alcohol rather than having a gun in their possession. By following the rules, carrying a gun in my back pocket, I’d be a good citizen in society. I’d just have to refrain from having even the slightest sip of alcohol.