I sat in the car, arms crossed, tears threatening my eyes. I didn’t want to cry. Crying made me weak. So I bit my lip and looked out the window, watching the highway fly by.

“It’s for the best, ya know.” A soft voice came from the driver’s seat. I wanted to talk but I couldn’t swallow the growing lump in my throat. I just shook my head instead, hiding behind my thick curtain of brown hair. Mom looked over to me, worry creasing around her dull green eyes. She was just as crushed over this as I was, but I couldn’t pull myself out of my pit of misery to see that I wasn’t the only one hurting. Ha. Pit of misery. Like those commercials. Dilly dilly.

“No, it’s not.” I state, voice trembling. “You’re just saying it’s for the best to alleviate your guilt. It’s not for the best, it’s for the convenient. You are killing my dog because you don’t want to spend the money to save her. You want to put her down because you are tired of trying to take care of her and you just want to make it easier on everyone else. She deserves to live. She deserves to be with us. She doesn’t need to die. She-” At that point my face was streaked with tears and I couldn’t speak anymore. I covered my face with my hands and started sobbing. My heart was breaking, tearing slowing apart, destroying any hope I had that my dog would live.

“Jordan, look at me when I’m talking to you.” Mom said in her listen-to-what-I-say-or-else voice. I looked at her, trying my best not to cry. “Death comes after everyone. It doesn’t care who you are or how important you are to anyone else. Death just has it’s quota to fill and it doesn’t care who it takes. Everyone has their time to go, and some people’s time is sooner than others.” She glances over at me. “Is this making sense to you?”

I can’t speak anymore so I just nod. Jules, my beautiful yellow lab, looks at me from the back seat, groaning softly in my direction. She was in so much pain. I knew she was. It was selfish of me to keep her alive any longer. She couldn’t move her hind legs and breathing became a chore. Just looking at her made me cry more. Jules groaned again, and I reached over and put her head in my hands, stroking her soft fur.

“It’s not fair.” I whispered. “It’s not fair.”