Annoying Captive Monologue | Teen Ink

Annoying Captive Monologue

October 27, 2010
By WhiteWidow GOLD, Bakersfield, California
WhiteWidow GOLD, Bakersfield, California
14 articles 3 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not fair because no one plays fair and survives.


"You know… if you loosened the rope, you'd be able to present me with two functioning arms…. Okay… okay, let's review the meaning of the word 'loosen'--ow…. Oh, yeah, that's much better. Thank you very much, sir. My hand's falling asleep. Awesome….

"You don't say much, do you?



"Yeah, I figured so. The strong and silent type, right? Huh. We haven't officially met. I'm Alex. And you are…?



"Okay, I'm going to call you… Rick. You look like a Rick. You're new, aren't you? Yeah… it's been awhile since I've been back here, and I don't think I've seen you before. When did you start? Hmm… I'm guessing not too long ago. You give off that newbie vibe--

"Hey! That was totally uncalled for, man! Ah… you knocked out a tooth. Not cool, man, not cool. Ugh… my only beverage is my blood. Thank you for that. Ugh….

"I bet he's not paying you much, is he--?

"Okay… ah… you--

"You… gotta say something or-or I'll never shut up. It's just {cough} not my way. Your boss should've… warned you….



"Hey. Hey, where're you going? Was it something I said? Rick…?



"Aw. Alex all alone….

"Oh. Hi, there. And you are?"


The author's comments:
I forgot what I was watching when I came up with this, I just know I was laughing quietly the entire time

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This article has 2 comments.


on Nov. 8 2010 at 5:33 pm
MidnightFire PLATINUM, Lincoln, Illinois
40 articles 6 photos 239 comments

Favorite Quote:
&#039;Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you&#039;ll die tomorrow.&#039;<br /> for my sister: &#039;when life gives me lemons ... i eat them&#039;<br /> &#039;do not be afraid, be faithful&#039;<br /> &#039;God is not safe, but He&#039;s good&#039;

:) nice :)

on Oct. 30 2010 at 1:39 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments
Very funny. :)