What the Keyboard Saw | Teen Ink

What the Keyboard Saw

May 14, 2010
By Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments

To Agent 67T:

Pause. Backspaced.

Sir,

Highlight and delete.
No greeting this time.

At 2200 hours there was a security breach in Sector Delta. A detainee

A moment of hesitation.

began an altercation with a guard who was escorting him from an unsuccessful interrogation. The guard made an effort to stun the detainee, but was unsuccessful. Said guard then tried to alert other security to the struggle, but was incapacitated. As the other guards approached

Pause.

the detainee grabbed the weapon of the unconscious guard and began shooting. The reinforcements retreated

Delete that last word.

were forced to take cover. As they initiated lockdown, the detainee employed some kind of explosive device that caused severe structural damage to the corridor. This enabled detainee to exit the building. The destruction caused by the explosive caused confusion among outside security- detainee was able to shoot his way out of the compound.

New paragraph.

A search was commenced immediately and is ongoing. Repairs have been made to the damaged exterior wall. An investigation is underway as to where detainee was able to obtain materials for an explosive device. It would appear that the detainee has an accomplice- possibly

Some hesitation.

one of the guards.

Enter and tab.

Detainee is not yet in custody. Motivfs

Delete and retype.

Motives and location are both unknown. He is armed although moist

Backspace and correct.

Most likely has limited ammunition. Detainee Identification Number is 814364903- AJA

Another typo.

AKA

Pause.
And then a slam.

AGVxetgx80Qe234= ado890zxdrqwugvoW[9HNY!!1!!!1!!!!!!!!!! QA V WEOIVQA UIORG ax rgvewroi tnh oh no. oh no. hes going ot kill me hes going to kill me im such an idiot. he told me to be careful with vyper and I didn't listen and now hes going to kill me hes goin to kill me im dead.

Another pound.

Xcz
VAOVGNazgpbevna;d

Hit again.

Xoeihqwethukur74ik67'ls

Another blow.

Oaierbv[wqei0hnwe09.

Then a long pause. Three still minutes pass. Then the last three hundred forty-eight characters are deleted.
No movement for a moment- then three more words.

AKA Daniel Vyper.

The author's comments:
This is kind of a different format than usual.

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This article has 30 comments.


Strike_Eagle said...
on Jun. 26 2010 at 4:33 pm
Strike_Eagle, Warm Springs, Virginia
0 articles 0 photos 33 comments
This is a great story.  The title makes the story's point of view more understandable.  Just out of curiousity, what was with the 348 random characters?

on Jun. 12 2010 at 3:38 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments
I would have, but I didn't realize what had happened until the story was actually posted (and by then it was too late).

on Jun. 10 2010 at 3:08 pm
lunar_moon BRONZE, Austin, Texas
4 articles 3 photos 39 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you think you can you can, and if you think you can't, you're right." -Mary Kay Ash

Well since you can't itslicize them, then the seperate parts should have a marker indicating that they are seperate. Like one of these * or a dash (-). But this is actually some great work. Very creative and describes you as an independent writer.

on Jun. 10 2010 at 1:38 pm
Still_Waters26 SILVER, Ladysmith, Wisconsin
6 articles 0 photos 88 comments

Favorite Quote:
"We few, we happy few/we band of brothers/For he to-day that sheds his blood with me/Shall be my brother"
-Shakespeare, "Henry V"

This is a unique way of writing, interesting but a little hard to follow.  It'd help if the separate parts were italicized, but I don't think you can do that on TeenInk.  Other than that, really good!

korhel said...
on Jun. 10 2010 at 4:23 am
korhel, Rockhampton, Other
0 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I wish I had the guts to walk away and forget about you... But I can't because I know you won't come after me... And that's what hurts the most."

I love this format, its really interesting.

on Jun. 9 2010 at 7:24 pm
TravelerInWaiting SILVER, Glen Ridge, New Jersey
5 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I like the format of this! It's really different and interseting.

dancer13 GOLD said...
on Jun. 9 2010 at 5:03 pm
dancer13 GOLD, Troy, Michigan
19 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." ~Jane Austen

I know right? It's rather irritating. :P

on Jun. 9 2010 at 5:02 pm
Imaginedangerous PLATINUM, Riverton, Utah
31 articles 0 photos 402 comments
No, it doesn't do that- the 'written' sections originally were italicized (It's so weird how you can italicize comments but not the actual articles). :s

dancer13 GOLD said...
on Jun. 9 2010 at 4:51 pm
dancer13 GOLD, Troy, Michigan
19 articles 0 photos 98 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them." ~Jane Austen

I like this format :) it'd be easier to understand if certain parts were italicized, but i don't think TI does that, so... (: