Just to be clear I'm not opposed to learning. I love to learn. Just sometimes I don't feel I truly am when I'm confined in the vicinities of my curriculum...and some subjects bore me.

OK, I am never going to spend hours reading Moby Dick just out of mere desire. I do not have an uncontrollable desire that coerces me to plummet into a physics textbook and read myriad pages on the forces of motion and I do not have a verbal vocabulary that connotes like I spend all my free time reading Webster's New Explorer Vocabulary Skill Builder.

I am the girl whose behavior perplexes others. I act like a complete buffoon in class and come out with a 5 on my AP Biology exam and a 4.0 GPA. In fact, many attribute my academic excellence to black magic. Those people I would say have a wild imagination.

I am a girl whose attitude towards learning varies. I would readily dive into a unit on Evolution but I would not touch a Physics textbook for any reason other than obligation. I read as many articles as I can from the YAHOO! Homepage but can't get through the 2nd chapter of Great Expectations.

I am the girl who loves to sleep. I don't sleep a lot because I find it to be an auspicious life boat in a sea full of debacles nor am I a casual drug user. I love to sleep because I love to dream. It's the only way I can abscond to my future. When I lay my head on the pillow and close my eyes, my business grows and the orphaned children, abused women and destitute souls take center stage as I play a supporting role. When I sleep, my dreams come to life.

I am the girl who dabbles with the verb, express. My mind is inundated with ideas that I put down in many forms -Poems, screenplays, novels, adverts, songs, designs. My wardrobe is volatile and my hair has gone through the extremities of the metric ruler and colors of the (visible light) electromagnetic spectrum.

I am the girl who's captivated with criminology, psychology and human cognizance. I spend my free time watching The Mentalist, Lie to me, CSI and Sherlock Holmes and reading archaic cases of criminals on Wikipedia and Detective Conan manga.

I am a strong advocate for women's rights and I cringe whenever some ignorant person informs me of my "place."

I am all these things but I have no idea what I want to be. What I do know is that I want to be successful. I have ambition. I guess that's the answer. Not black magic unfortunately, just ambition. My ambition has had the greatest influence on me. It makes me do things I don't like to. Because I'll be honest, writing a 20 page essay on the God particle doesn't catch my fancy.