The first day of my freshmen year of high school I had Art one for sixth period. All I could think about when I walked into the class was how am I going to get through this class if I can’t even draw a square? I saw the teacher waiting eagerly at the door ready to take my name I walk over slightly nervous to tell her my name, I stand there waiting for her to finish up with another student.
“Hi what’s your name?” she asked me with an overly excited tone.
“leslie wentworth” I said.
“Ok great, you can choose where ever you would like to sit but as soon as you sit there that is your seat for the year.”
“Ok cool.” I said. I was glad I could sit where I wanted because like that I didn’t have to get stuck with a bunch of awkward people at my table, as I look around, I found a table that particularly caught my eye. There was a guy looked to be sixteen or seventeen, he had black hair, it looked like the curly hair wigs you buy at party city, and he had a chocolate kind of skin tone, and there was a girl next to him that looked like she was about seventeen, she had straight flat ironed hair with blondish highlights, and her skin was a kind of peachy warm color, and her face had an incredible glow. They were seated at the back of the class and I liked that, I was far away from all the stupid people. I walk up to their table and sit. I look at them with a nervous smile on my face, I don’t say any thing for a few minutes and then I had decided to wait for one of them to say something, but to my unlucky luck no one decided to speak up so I decided to start the introductions.
“Hi, my name is leslie, what’s your name?” I asked nervously.
“Hola yo me llamo Brayan” “Hi my name is Brayan” He said in Spanish and I automatically got excited because he spoke Spanish which meant I didn’t have to speak English all the time.
“Ah que Bueno, que placer conocerte” “Ah that’s good, what a pleasure to meet you” I said in Spanish, he was surprised when I said it, it looked like he wasn’t really expecting me to know how to speak Spanish put its ok because I’ll admit I know English like if it were my first language.
I then turn my full attention to the girl that with so much grace takes her headphones off and looks at me with a smile. I had already heard her talking to the teacher in Spanish, so I just asked her the same questions and said the same things that I had said to Brayan to her, she had ended up telling me her name was Samantha. We started to get to know each other a little bit better of course these two people are supposed to be my partners for the year.
I ended up finding out that they were both Cuban and it felt good to find someone close to home, I ended up telling them I’m Dominican and then Brayan started talking about how much he loved Dominicans and how he really wished he could go to Dominican Republic. I’m not going to lie that hour and a half was a pretty good one and I felt welcomed at their table and they are super sweet, as we are walking out of class I walk next to Brayan trying to see if he had the same class as me for eighth period and it had turned out we didn’t have any classes other than art together, I was a little disappointed because I actually liked him he was super sweet and very laid back, as we are getting closer to the center of the school he looks at me and says he has class the opposite side of me, I once again was disappointed knowing that every time I got out of art we would have to part away to different sides of the school that we couldn’t even walk in the same direction but that’s just life. I walked into my eighth period class which ended up being physical education, it was my most hated class I didn’t really meet or do anything excited for as it was the first day of school. The two-twenty bell rings and I am so happy that this dreadful day has come to and end. I get in my moms’ car and just like every other year she interrogates me asking me a bunch of crazy questions.
“How was your day?” she asked way too happily.
‘’It was good, I met some new people today.” I’m guessing this wasn’t a surprise to her because the next question she asked wasn’t if I had made new friends, and I was glad.
“Ah that’s good.” She said. I knew she had finished interrogating based on her tone, so I just pull out my phone and decide to relax until my brother got out of school.
It’s already Friday and this week has been great I met new people and my teachers, they all seem really laid back but its only the first week of school, let’s wait and see how much they change their happy attitude when its already the middle of the school year.
I’m not going to lie these last few months have been going by very quickly. I could hardly believe that it was already December since around September I have been eating lunch with Brayan and getting to know him better and to tell you the truth I really like him he is kind, caring, and not to mention that no matter how mad or sad I am he always finds a way to make me laugh, the only thing that kind of kills my good mood sometimes is that his friends have picked up I liked him and they would all say in Spanish how I was his missing piece and how it was cute that I liked him, I don’t mind because they aren’t lying but he wasn’t too comfortable with it, but besides that there was a kid in particular that had caught my eye I had seen him before as a teacher aid for my fourth period teacher, I had found out that his name was Briam and that he was the one sitting by the door all quiet and calm, I think it’s funny though because I had never seen him grade a single paper and I had never really talked to him before but I always found myself starring in his direction and I’m not going to lie every time I would get up he would look at me or every time I would by food he would smile and slightly chuckle under his breath trying to make sure I couldn’t hear it but I always did.
I can remember like if it was yesterday it was December fourth and weirdly enough Brayan wasn’t there and if he was then I hadn’t seen him that day. As I’m walking out of the cafeteria, I see Briam and I walk up to him, I had already said minor things to him before but nothing out of this world, but today that was going to change. As we are walking we decided on hanging out with the others for a while and then everyone pulled away and it was just me and him, we walk for a bit and then we sit it was nice out there was a bit of a breeze and it was a sunny day with a clear blue sky, as soon as we sit down we started to get to know each other.
“Entonces y Brayan como esta?” “So… how’s Brayan?” I asked, and as soon as I saw his face, I regretted it.
“Ve y preguntale a el que yo no se y no me preguntes mas sobre el.” “Go and ask him because I don’t know and don’t ask me again.” He said in a very annoyed tone.
“Oh, ya perdon que te pregunte.” “Oh, sorry I asked.” I said. Sorry to have brought up his name. he ended up telling me he had a brother and a sister, that his birthday was December second, and that his favorite color was blue, but his birth color was red because of his saint. I told him things about my self too turning us into friends from then on I knew what I was getting myself into but I still went for it, I still find it funny to this day that Brayan thought I liked him romantically which I really didn’t it was just what he assumed, I really just wanted to get to know Briam and see what he was like and as soon as we all started talking and hanging out every day during lunch I started to like him more.
Winter break was a day away and I had decided to write a Christmas card to Brayan and Briam to tell them how the last few months had been fun and how because of them my freshman year was going great.
The last day until winter break came around and I was eager to give them their cards, I look at my phone and check the time displaying ten- thirty in the morning as soon as the bell rings I get up and walk out of class, as I’m walking to the cafeteria I pull out the cards and make sure to have the right ones with the right names, I see Brayan and I walk up to him and hug him and give him a slight kiss on the cheek, Brayan has always been a flirt and it always made me laugh that every time I hugged him and kissed his cheek that he would fan his face as if he was hot, me and Brayan have always had a good friendship and I liked it that way. Like I was saying as I walked up to him and greeted him, and I gave him his card.
“Here I couldn’t get you an actual present, but I think you’ll like this” I said eagerly. I know that Brayan speaks Spanish put I just can’t help and speak to him in English and the worst thing is I know he secretly hates it, but I still do it either way and sometimes I feel bad.
“Gracias pero tu no tenias que hacerme nada.” “Thank you but you didn’t have to get me anything.” he said.
“I know but I wanted to.” I said.
“Where is Briam?” I asked. He looked confused as if he was the only one that was going to get a Christmas card, but he was wrong I also had someone else in mind.
“No se.” he said in a jealous tone.
“Oh, ok thanks.” I don’t really understand why he was jealous he knew I loved them both Briam a little bit more, but he didn’t have to know that.
As I am walking around trying to find him I remembered that maybe like a lot of other students he decided to start his winter break early so I walked back to Brayan and interrogated him and scolded him for lying to me telling me that he didn’t know where Briam was when clearly he did they are like brothers, plus Brayan’s brother Eduardo had told me that he did know I decided to give Brayan Briam’s card and I told him to give it to him and then that’s when he told me that he had left for las Vegas I was kind of sad that I wasn’t going to be able to hang out with him during break but whatever right?
Winter break was great, and everything was great, January came around a little quicker than I had liked but it was ok I turned fifteen but with turning fifteen came with a price, not getting to see one of my most loved friend Brayan it was sad that I couldn’t even spend my birthday with him but I guess everything happens for a reason. After a short while my quinces pictures were coming up not going to lie I was excited. The day of my pictures came and went like the breeze and this was the day January sixteen that I knew I cared for Briam when a pepper spray can at school during lunch exploded effecting twelve students, as I was reading this news, I scramble for my phone trying to find out what happened and if he was ok, I had always cared for him but when I found out that he could have been one of the twelve students I felt this stirring in my stomach and I couldn’t shake it away until I found out he was ok, so I texted him and it turned out that he was ok and the relief I felt had shown me how much I truly did care and it scared me and then from that day forward I had thought of a million ways to tell him how I felt, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it I had to get to know him better to really understand him and that is exactly what I did.
February came around and so did the most dreadful day of them all “Valentines Day.” Ugh I always hated valentine’s day I don’t know why but I have always hated it.
It’s the day before valentine’s day and as I am walking up to the guys Pedro, Briam, Ignacio, Gian, Russo, and Armando I can’t help but smile when I see him, I greet them all the same way but Briam because I know that if I ever smelled his cologne or if I ever got that close to him I wouldn’t be able to control myself, and it’s been like this for a while ever since the pepper spray incident I can’t seem to shake this crush and it just gets stronger and stronger with each long and dreadful day, but when I’m with him its not long or dreadful its more warm and relaxing, well back to what I was saying I walked up to them and I sit with them this time Briam was talking to Armando and Ignacio and Gian were talking so then it was me and Pedro talking I had decided on telling him that I wanted to tell Briam how I felt and he was all up for it, then the seven- twenty bell rings and we all head our separate ways.
Lunch comes around rather quick and I’m feeling nervous I let them all finish eating their lunch, we walk out of the cafeteria and we sit outside by the blue lunch tables as I am about to say something Pedro just blurts it out, Briam looks at me and I get up and run away just like how I know how to I hide away all lunch and as soon as the bell rings I walk to class, as I am about to enter the hallway to get to class I feel a hand grab my arm and pull me in a different direction it wasn’t an urgent pull it was more of a I need to speak with you privately kind of way and then I noticed it was Briam, we stop shortly just under the stares far away from the teen population preventing from anyone to hear.
“Ah mi me dijeron que yo te gusto y no creo que yo sea la persona que tu mereces to te mereces una persona que te puede ofrecer lo Bueno, y en verdad te quiero mucho pero como amiga y es verdad estoy muy agradecido de ser tu amigo pero eso es porque te quiero porque eres Buena amiga y no quiero aruinar eso.” “These people told me that you like me but I don’t think I am the person you deserve, you deserve a person that can offer you good things, and in all honesty I love you a lot but as a friend and it is the truth I am very grateful to be your friend but that is why I love you because you’re a good friend and I don’t want to ruin that.” He said in a sad tone.
As he said this, I was so caught in his eyes that I hadn’t realized that I was crying that my heart had shattered into a million pieces how if I would have kept quiet this wouldn’t be happening now, I had such mixed emotions that I don’t remember saying that it was ok and walking away I hid in the girls bathroom the rest of the day after that, I was so heart broken harboring feelings for someone for so long and then being turned down and while I was caring and giving him my love and attention while other girls turned him down.
All I did for eight months was be there for him when he needed me most and just being a good friend and I understand that you can’t force someone to fall in love with you but I really thought I had a chance.