I was just finishing up watching the movie Selma in the late evening. My sister, Breana, pulled out her phone and had a worried look on her face. At the time I wasn’t too concerned thinking maybe it was just a friend or something she saw online. I remember the look on her face as she handed my mom the phone. Her face was pale and her glossy eyes were shining from the dim light coming from the kitchen, they were filled with horror and confusion. My mom read whatever was on her phone and immediately stood up and put the phone to her ear, making a phone call. I asked my sister what was going on as I started to get confused. She told me that our dads friend Kellie messaged her on facebook telling her our dad was in the hospital due to a car crash. I remember my whole body going numb and stumbling to the ground in tears. It was like the world had stopped. I wanted to scream and I wanted to run to him. “This can't be happening.” I thought, “he doesn't have a license, he will go to jail.” I don't recall anything my mom said on the phone, but as she came back into the room she told us what happened. I didn't find out until later that my dad hit a tree head on going 45 miles an hour with my dog in the back seat. Me and my sister grabbed put our shoes on and ran out the door to the car not knowing what was going to come next.
As I sat in the car, my mind was racing. Was he alive? Was my dog, Dodger, alive? I knew nothing. I don't think I ever stopped crying that night, I was scared, speechless, sad, and shaken . He was my best friend, I couldn't lose him. I thought back to the days where we would play catch in the front yard, and when I used to give him makeovers while he laid on the couch watching TV. Thinking about all the amazing times I've had with him was making me more scared. The car ride was forever, I could feel my heart beating in my chest as we got closer the the hospital. I don't remember pulling into the parking lot, I only remember feeling the car being violently put in park. It was like I was in a void of darkness and fear, it was all that was in my mind. I bolted out of the car feeling my throat tighten from all the crying. I was running across the parking lot when I saw a woman walking towards me.
I didn't really pay too much attention to he until she said, “Are you Earl's daughter?” I stopped, confused of who she was. She mention that she was my dad's friend Kellie, the one that contacted my sister. She told us that he hit a tree with our dog in the car and my my dog was at the emergency vet and that my dad was in a room getting his broken bones set back into place. I was broken, horrified, and worried. I was so angry that we were just standing in the parking lot rather than going in and seeing him. I started sobbing once again but this time it was the worst, I was full of anger and sadness and fear. I stood up and asked if we could just go inside, which we did, but it ended up being useless because we ended up stuck in a waiting room. After what felt like years, a doctor came in and told us he was back from having his bones set.
We all stood up and followed the doctor down a few hallways to where my dad was. The hallways felt like they were a mile long, almost as if they were walking with me so I could never reach the end. He was laying there still on the bed with his leg and arm in casts and a brace on his neck. My sister waited in the hallway, too scared to see him, and I ran straight in, anxious to see him. 
I walked up to him and said,  “Hi dad.” trying to hold back the tears. He couldn't even look me in the eyes and I could tell he was trying to to cry by how his voice cracked. My dad's other friend, who took care of dodger for the next few weeks, and told us that he was okay.
Even after, my dad couldn't stop saying, “I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I can't believe I hurt my dog.” Our dog is a big deal to my family, since my dad lives on his own, doesn't work, and only sees me and my sister on weekends, my dog is all he has. I swear, that night he cared about how Dodger was more than his own life.
He eventually got moved to another room upstairs, one more private. On the way up I never left his until we reached the room. The doctors asked us to leave the room while they switched him over to the other bed, which of course we did. But even through the closed door if you could hear his screams of excruciating pain due to the broken bones on the right side of his body. I had never heard him be in so much pain. When he hit the tree, the engine came forward, crushing and shattering his right leg and ankle. The center council, where the radio is, came downward onto his hand, which was on the gear, shattering his wrist and almost severing his thumb. It was that moment that I realized this was going to be a long journey to recovery.
     We left the hospital around six in the morning that next day, after hours of doctors coming in and out giving him medicine, checking his vitals, seeing if he needed anything, etc. Saying goodbye was tough knowing he would be sitting in pain alone, but at least he was alive. On the way home we stopped and got McDonalds, which I scarfed down since we hadn't had anything to eat for at least twelve hours. Once I got home, I maybe got an hour or two of sleep at night. All I could do was think, I was so happy that he was alive, but I was so oblivious to what was ahead of me, that was what scared me the most.
     I was traumatized for months, It was constantly on my mind, I shut people out and my grades dropped. I almost went to therapy because of how much it affected my daily life. I would constantly break down and shut myself out from the world. I relived that night over and over again every day for at least a year. It was like I wasn’t even alive anymore, I woke up dead everyday.  I now cherish the moments I spend with people a lot more than I did before because what if he died that night? Something like this can happen to someone I love at any moment or maybe even something worse. Going through something like this is like dealing with a death. You get put into this state of shock for a while. You wake up everyday still feeling the sting of the pain but you have to smile, because life keeps going and you can't be left behind sitting in the past.